British Liver Trust
13,255 members6,520 posts

Thank you to everyone on this forum that has been willing to share

I am from the United States and have been reading your posts for about a year now. My ex-husband is very sick, long time drinker. After having every doctor he has seen for the past 4 years tell him he is going to die if he doesn’t stop drinking.... he continues to drink. He has no one but me and a narcissist mother who is 90 years old. So I am his advocate. I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about alcoholic stage 4 liver disease. I have no idea how long he has at this point. He has had a low grade fever for over a year. I fear cancer but our medical insurance is very substandard here in the states and crazy expensive. Right now he has no health insurance and refuses to, or can’t go for regular follow up visits. Open Inrollment started on 11/1 so I can start looking for health insurance for him again. He seems to have just given up.

Over the past year reading all your posts have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you!!!! Your stories have gotten me thru many sleepless nights.

We have been thru a hemorrhagic brain bleed in late 2015 with this now 56 year old alcoholic.... It caused a small problem with his site, emotions and and short term memory, other than that you couldn’t tell he had had a stoke that 90% of the time people don’t live through..... He takes medication for seizures now, he has had ammonia levels of well in the 300’s 3 different times. (Normal is 1-13) very low platelet counts, loss of hair, yellow eyes and skin, horrible itching and pain in his extremities. Swelling if he doesn’t stay on meds to reduce that. He has started swelling in the abdamon, causing a new kind of pain and new procedures, that can’t be done with low platelets. No apatite and low grade fever.

When I read your posts I know that you will understand my sadness. But in that sadness I hope this story will encourage at least one person not to let Alcohol Liver Disease get to this point in your life. Huggs to each one of you ;)

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Hi,

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us.

We hope you continue to find support and strength from our amazing members,

Warm wishes,

BLT

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Firstly Sadgawife, my heart goes out to you. I must confess I do try to shy away from American Alcohol-related websites as they can be rather confusing and ambiguous which can be rather confusing for us Brits. When I was 50-years old I went through a mad phase in my life and went to the states in search of romance and adventure. I spent 3-years travelling around and mainly ended up in smaller towns rather than the big cities. Places like, Ozark AL, Beckley WV, Peebles OH, Willmington OH, Muskegon MI, Raleigh NC. And finally Patton MO. So I really got to know a lot about the people and how things change from state to state. Alcohol-related issues were high in a lot of the states and the health insurance companies seemed to view alcohol as being a self-inflicted condition, and can be very unsympathetic. I've stayed in a few dry states and towns too, but here as you'll know alcohol is just replace by meth. I've seen a whole village destroyed by meth. Were people have lost their jobs and as soon as one lab is closed down another three spring up, with all the ingredients being available to buy at the local Walmart store.

I personally don't adhere to the 12 steps of the AA as I don't believe religion should be an issue in the recovery process. But these are just my personal views and if a certain method of recovery works for some people, then this isn't a bad thing.

You really are having to deal with an up-hill struggle. It’s so hard to try and get through to someone who’s basically lost the will to live. I have nothing but total admiration for your continued support of your ex-husband. You are a tower of strength and your willingness to help him shows what a kind genuine person you are. You are an inspiration to others and it shows your strength, were a lesser person might have walked away by now.

Total respect to you. xx

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Hi sadgawife -you’re very welcome here. Not sure what to say there are a lot of people on this site who’ve gone or or going through something similar. Obviously can’t advise on u.s healthcare- only one thing is certain if your ex doesn’t stop drinking it’s the end-you know this but how to get him to stop? He probably thinks there’s nothing to live for...this is my experience of a friend of mine. One thing though your ex is 50 and if he does top drinking for say 6 months he may get on a transplant program if that’s a possibility? There are people here who have turned their lives around. He has one advantage of having a support framework-you. Best wishes to you!

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Much love and thank you!

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