Hi Tatjana

I've been stressed out about my lost of vision I have the CNIB coming in every other day to adjust but with diabetes portal hypertension and liver disease I'm a basket case.  I will be learning Braille soon but I feel very lonely.  I see a psychatrist for the anxiety and a neurologist for my myoclonus and jerks but now they've discovered another problem. With the contracting of my digestive muscles.  I l know I will keep pressing forward but I also have 2 young adult children .  My. Son is sick again but he refuses to go and see his specialists. I'm sorry to burden you with this I just needed to get it out.  My liver specialist told me I had a terrible time with the scoping and had to suck up the vomit from a tube inserted in my nose. I hope you are well.  ❣🇨🇦😎😷

[q_62]

Sorry to hear you are having difficulties. With your loss of vision you seem to be concentrating on all that is not supportive. You have two children I hope you can talk to them and share your views. 

You have access to the Internet and support that is positive.

The CNIB will be able to help . When I lost vision in my right eye I thought great I will be able to get a dog. However I was told you can see the sky you can see the floor it's enough to get around. You will be able to find something positive to cling on to I am sure. I found positive tapes helped lift my mood. May be your children can help with IT stuff for you. 

[White-feather in reply to q_62]

Good ideas q_62

🍀

[Hidden in reply to q_62]

Thank you but it's not as easy as that!  My daughter doesn't live with my son and I.  I only have limited visual residual left. I've been very independent most of my life but to try and take my glucometer testing why you are shaking is a problem.  My son is very troubled I'm at my widst end.  He's 24 and finally graduating post grad school but has 2-3 years apprenticeship.  His girlfriend live in the states and he's moving there!  Has anyone ever considered to give in with assisted suicide?  I'm not considering yet but I cry a lot something I never done before.  My psych says don't worry just keep taking the lorazepam for mycolonis as the other Meds go through the liver!!  Sorry I didn't need or want to put a damper on your life and I won't repeat it.  I just wanted people to know in Canada sometimes nobody gives a hoot!!! If I can't see my grandchildren what's the use ?

[Tatjana]

In am so glad that the CNIB are visiting every other day.  I do not understand about digestive muscles contracting and your experience with an endoscopy.  Also your son's refusal to see his specialists. q-62 is right although it is hard, try and stay positive.  Remember we are all here to listen and support. 

[Hidden in reply to Tatjana]

Thanks sweetie you somehow make feel that somethings our not always under control. I just have to focus on getting back on my feeet❣🇨🇦💞

[q_62]

In the UK we have social services that would assess what help you need and try to help you manage. 

Crying is your body telling you you need help. Sharing is a good step. Psych help has changed and the Meds do help you manage to some extent.

I have been a rat bag and swearing lately that is my way of not coping. I have been a grump monster but I recognise others are supportive and try to help and I feel positive that they want the best for me .

[Kazam]

Hi Enjoylifex2..... Please don't give up !  Be grateful  that you have children and grandchildren..I know how sometimes we feel like giving up..I have many times myself.I have no children,my appendix ruptured when I was 18  so I wasn't able to conceive.I live alone,but I have my animals..and they are what keep me going..I was diagnosed with Hep C  that had already advanced to cirrhosis with Portal Hypertension in  1990.I was given 5 yrs to live!! Then I was diagnosed with Cryoglobulemic Vascultis,lost the use of my left hand and foot,from Mononeuritis Multiplex,a severe nerve condition that affects the nerves and muscles,..complication from the Hep C.  I've had drop foot 3 times and recovered! I then developed Osteoporosis and Diabetes from the prednisone.I also have Periphial Neuropathy. and now have a compression fracture and slipped disc in my back. In Dec I had an ultrasound on my liver before beginning treatment with Harvoni and they found a blood clot on my Portal Vein !... so I've been on blood thinner shots daily since Jan.  I live with  physical pain constantly. It's the emotional pain we have to deal with too.It's hard to understand why some of us are dealt this hand in life..but please try and focus on the positive things. Just being able to share your feelings  and knowing others here understand has really helped me.   I write down 5 things I'm grateful for when I feel depressed..It helps me realize how lucky I am. I'm in Canada too!....I had homecare and physiotherapists come to help when I wasn't able to walk. Maybe ask if there are any agencies that can help. Have you considered getting a Service Dog?? My friend has R.A..and has a Mobilty Dog..They not only assist you but are great company as well!  I already have 4 dogs or I'd be applying for one too! Please try and be positive,hang in there Enjoylifex2.!! You have those Grandbabies to love!!

[Hidden in reply to Kazam]

Thanks ever so much it seems like you have a lot of the same things I have except for the fact I'm going blind and I've lost 45% of my hearing in both ears. Not only that I have diabetes portal hypertension myoclonus with jerking motions, osteoarthritis a special needs son who is an adult and drive me absolutely around the bend and I do have Coaches coming in from all over CNIB in house outside new hearing aids sake with her tonight as to which I'm glad about. I also have a racing heart which is medicated and works tremendously. But I'm on a very fixed income and my daughters not in a good way financially to have this baby and I can help her financially either at this point I've given her money I'm buying move the furniture for the nursery. I also told them both her husband and her they're hungry they can come over for dinners , but she scared and she's depressed and I really can't deal with it myself anymore. Too much to handle I guess I just need a break and I never had that break as the father was not that greateat influence of the children live on my life for that matter. I have been separated for years! Did you say you live in Canada, do you live in Toronto or Scarborough area? Maybe we can meet for an herbal tea or something LOL. But I will try and I am thankful that I do have children but I also had dogs as well. And I'm pretty well all alone when it comes to being able to keep the dog now because I wouldn't be able to take it out other than a condo type building. Anyways I'm not gonna mention made anymore thank you for everything have a happy and healthy new year love ❣🇨🇦