Today was meant to be the better of the weekend. Heavy rain due tomorrow. A cycle or at least a run was on the cards. Anxiety and mental madness however have stopped me from achieving much at all.
Found out yesterday whilst at work that a(nother) friend died Tuesday. He was/is tied up with my mother in my head so it brought up a lot of emotions regarding my mother's recent death.
A lot to do with mortality as well which is dumb I know as I am probably pretty darn near as healthly as I can physically be these days.
Not much time left today to redeem the day and certainly not looking for sympathy. Just to say sometimes... sometimes we can't quite be who we want to be...but as with so much in life, this too shall pass and what doesn't kill us apparently makes us stronger. 💪💪💪😕
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GoGo_JoJo
Graduate10
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Thanks Terry. Mindfulness for me doesn't tend to work. Getting out of my own head and finding a distraction seems to be the key. Actually, doing the bloke thing of zoning out is much more useful 🤣 but thanks for the thought. 🤗
No worries Jo, Just thought it may work for you 😕, you seem to have your way of zoning out so go for it 😂
So sorry to hear this. Emotional challenges can take a lot out of us physically, so if you don’t feel like running, conserve your energy. The time will come soon when running is a support and a way of releasing emotions. Stay warm and nurture yourself.xx
I simply didn't know what I wanted, the power to make any decisions whatsoever was just gone. I'm going to blame the weather in part. It's so hard to keep a sunny disposition in the face of grim and grey days 👎
You're right! I'm back to trying to persuade myself into running gear in the face of rain and chill
Hey JoJo, so sorry to hear about that You don't need sympathy, you've said that, but I'm sure I speak for many people on here, that we're standing right with you, virtually at least.
I try Jenny. I try too hard at times, it's just impossible to be that strong all the time whilst carrying the lonely, frightened child within. I've battled the Dark Side for a long time, these last 10 years in the knowledge of the demons I had been fighting. It's a long road. There is no doubt in my mind that I was actually fighting depression from the age of 9, when I was separated from my brother.
I compare it to alcoholism; you can never be "cured" you just learn new ways to cope and deal with what life throws at you.
Yesterday I just had to put it down but today I shall adjust the load and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have come too far to slide back down into the Pit of Despair. The Valley of Hope and Joy is far, far more appealing 💪🤗
A great big massive virtual hug winging its way to you sweetheart! ❤️
Hi GoGo_JoJo that's very sad about your news.... Its enough to trouble anyone's soul. I understand what you are going through and your last paragraph says it all and sums it up.
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" yes I believe in that, we don't see it at the time of trouble etc, but somehow we keep moving forward and get by, even if it's with pain, heartache etc.
I'm going through an emotional, mental troubled time right now, how each day passes I do not know, but hang in there and keep in touch with the lovely runners on here, truly wonderful human beings. I'm so glad I found you all. 😘
🤗 it's true, there are always more people out there waiting, and willing to help. Took me a long time to learn that.
Each day does pass, and as Scarlett O'Hara said..."after all, tomorrow is, another day" We get a mini new start to try again, to try harder or just to keep on keeping on, one step at a time.
Cliches are ok too👍 I was kind...if a bit bad. Had a kebab for tea. A delicious, greasy, tasty mess and devoured every last morsel along with a childhood favourite; Dr Pepper. Not the best food for fitness but food for the soul 😉🌞
Hello JoJo, I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss to add to other recent losses. I have certainly come to a conclusion that there are things i life that are so very hard, but sadly that is 'normal', even though none of us want it. Take a moment at a time and be kind to yourself and others.
You were the first person who responded to me when I graduated, but didn't feel the elation that others said. (I realise that that is trivial in comparison) You encouraged me to print the C25k certificate which I duly did, little pleasures can be so refreshing and in our subsequent exchanges said, "The other stuff...confusing, but the sun comes up each morning and sets each day and still every day holds the promise of something special, so life goes on. 🌈🌻" I am sending a virtual hug too.
It does go on, and now fuelled with my bad kebab, and having taken up my sword and shield once more I'm going to get out my back door (we don't use the front!) and seek a little promise of joy out there on yet another grim, grey day.
Your post reminded me of another of my favourite mantras whilst out running... every day may not be a good one but there is something good in every day 👍
All of you beautiful souls are definately that. 🤗☄
Seperation at a tender age, your cave,the trauma and distance complications of your three recent beareavements, so much to cope with.
What strength and courage our running friend.Your pit of despair,your one step at a time, your belief in the valley of hope and joy.We are willing you on Jo.🌟
Hope springs eternal and after so much you will have more answers, more understanding, more joy and more peace.
You give so much support and joy to us all on this forum.
I can never forget our short C25k journey and your inspiring and effortless contribution.
I will never forget your wise words to help others with their journeys on your partnership with you brain and your body.
Amazing and exactly a way of thinking about it.
Your strength and courage is inspiring Jo.
Keep taking your one step.Keep posting to the forum.
Running and cycling is the life’s blood of your soul.💥🏃♀️🚴♀️💪💥
It is time for you to take the best and leave the rest.🌟👏👏
I did! I "put my hands up for Detroit" and West Sussex, I encouraged a toot from a trucker who happily reciprocated (it makes their day too you know), I chased the rabbits and a squirrel. Most of all I beat the demons back from the door and am now going to relax in a hot bath.🛀 👍🏃♀️
Dear Jojo, I don’t know you personally, but I wish I did and if I didn’t live 12,000 miles away I’d be knocking on your back door right now to ask if I can have a cuppa with you. If I could pick anyone to be on my side, have my back it would be you. You are such an amazing support, for so many of us here on this site, you are a generous, lovely person and thank you for posting how you are feeling right now, its an opportunity for us to say how sorry we are for your losses and send huge hugs to you. I dedicate my run to you tomorrow Jojo and when I’ve finished it, there will be “airplanes involved” ( with sound effects) ✈️ X
Sometimes life just sucks. Sometimes some past event suddenly just throws its long cold shadow over us and we get almost paralysed. Been there, done that, got the teeshirt.
Like you, I just hunker down inside The Cave and hope the pain goes away. It always does. There's always some unexpected nice thing that happens or something that we (ffs "I") pick up on and I think "Okay, that feels a bit better now, I can manage this".
But a good old "Kebab and Dr Pepper" pig out treat sounds like just the thing; soul food comes in many guises. And you went out and ran. And saw bunnies. And had a good long soak in the bath. And your OH sounds like he's a fortress for you.
West Sussex isn't that far from East Sussex. Be great to have a pint of coconut water sometime if you're ever inclined.
You've been so kind and supportive to so many people on here. We're just returning what we owe you, hon.... xxx
I never feel like I'm owed anything by life or anyone in it though. I just believe if you smile, the world will, more often than not, smile back at you.
I have faith in humanity and you have all proved me right, yet again. 😁
The sun has come back in this neck of the woods so its much easier to reflect it back too 🌞
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