Stage 4 breast cancer/hairloss

Hi 2days before christmas i eas admitted to hospital with a lung problem which turned out not good they sent me for a ct scan which came back i had breast cancer ,got christmas over with then had a biopsy done got the results back from that saying i had stage 4 which has spread to my lung&bowel area i also tested triple neg so chemo was my only option ,had my 1st chemo last month was quite sick from for a few days the doctor also told me with my EC drugs that i was going to have i would lose all my hair which i was upset about that the oncology nurse had sorted everything to get me ready for the hair loss ,this wk i went along for my wig consultation &got a nice when i was there i asked the girl if i could get her to cut my own hair she asked did i not want to wait ,she told me my hair would get patchy &start to fall out nxt wk anyway,i said no i want to do i today asked her how they cut the hair thinking yeah i could cope with it being buzzed short ,she told me they cut it as short as they can go ,i said i was ready to cut my hair now she put a gown on me &went to fetch the clippers then i knew i was cutting my hair ,i saw her one minute combing the back of my hair then felt her with the clippers shaving all my hair off at the back didnt realise it was going to be shaved so short then i saw her shaving all away at my sides then over to the other side of my head shaving away what was left of my hair watching it fall ,then i knew when i saw it i had been shaved right dwn to the stubble part the realisation hit me then that all my hair had just been totally shaved right off to stubble i cried when i left the shop with shock it even 3days later the stubble is dry &itchy knowing my follicles are going to fall out this wk im just waiting to ask someone about &if im allowed to go back take the clippers as short as they can go and just totally shave it all off to my scalp as i know it will need done by my nxt chemo cant stand scalp soreness

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  • So sorry to hear your story trg3. I cannot remember whether I had stubble left when I had my head shaved (it was 6 years ago) but if you have it shaved again and it is dry and itchy now, it might make things worse. Speak to your nurse or doctor who might be able to suggest a suitable shampoo. You will get used to having no hair. You might find that you don't want to wear tgexwig all the time, especially at home - they can make you hot. There are some lovely bandanas around these days. Just think what the consequences would be if this wasn't happening -it is all for the good. My very best wishes for your journey and do come back to this site if you want any more help xx

  • hi thank you ive only shaved it the once the girl who did my wig appointment cut my hair for me when i thought about cutting my hair i was thinking oh they would just buzz it but she told me they dont when they cut your hair they go as short as they can go think my shock was they shave it so short not use scissors to cut the hair think i felt inside when the clippers were in her hand &she was shaving all my hair off my hair was me ,when she was just shaving away all my hair off i saw how short i'd been shaved right dwn to just stubble i cried afterwards realising it was all shaved off &would have had to be done anyway nxt wk ive tried the shampoo bit in the shower but it only keeps the stubble soft for one day then goes back to being bristely &itchy again i only lost a few follicles before i had my hair all shaved off thats why im thinking i wiil do it again this wk i wear a beanie hat when i go out &the stubble catches &itches underneath that plus my stubble gets really ,when i do shave my head i will use the clippers low as they go i couldnt do a clean shave on myself i would need somebody else got a couple of groups on nxt wk going to ask can i go ahead and shave it all off

  • Hello trg3 πŸ’

    Welcome to our group, I am so sorry about your diagnosis, it must be a terrible shock to you.

    I'm so sorry about your hair, you just meant it to be cut shorter not shaved didn't you. I'm sure it must be extremely itchy & uncomfortable. It normally falls out around day 15-17 I'm not sure what to advise you for the best about reshaving it, one of the other ladies maybe able to advise you.

    My hair was short anyway & started to fall out on my birthday but the following day it just came away in my hands.

    I'm not sure if you should wait until it starts to fall rather than shaving it again. Pretty much everyone says their head is sore after their hair falls out & the only time I didn't wear my wig was for my second Chemo as my head was painful.

    My Very Best Wishes to You

    I hope your treatment goes well

    Mrs N

  • hi will give myself till nxt wk speak somebody who will know see what they say on tuesday i can feel my follicles dying away so nxt wk i would be getting patchy ,after tuesday once ive seen someone &asked them i will go shave it all off to the scalp with my clippers at low as the can go not going to be to stand the scalp pain from my hair falling out

  • It's a pretty tough thing to happen on top of everything else. Sending you Hugs πŸ€—

  • PS

    I've just reread your post, please let the Team know you were sick, there are great Meds now that they routinely give but can prescribe additional tablets if the others don't work. Please report any side effects to the Team/Unit as they are always happy to help ease the side effects.

    You could try a simple moisturiser such as E45 to see if it soothes your head & the Breast Cancer Care Website is very helpful so try a search on there for tips on sore scalp

    Mrs N πŸ’•

  • hi can you put that on stubble as thats all i have left after having it all shaved yeah was a shock i had been imagining at home everytime i washed my hair worried if it did fall out ,also i would sit and look at my hair and pick up my hair take my fingers along it measure how short it could be cut with scissors prob as short as a pixie cut i was prepared for even having it buzzed to but not what happened didnt expect that ,total shock when she put the gown on me got the clippers out then it hit me it was going to be short never shaved that short i realised it was short when i saw her shaving all my hair off at the back when saw her on my side shaving my hair i knew my hair was shaved right dwn thats when it hit me ive been told my hair would have been getting patchy &starting fall out by the end of nxt wk as my nxt chemo is the wk after so my hair would have dying anway and i would have had to go back to the shop again where i got my wig &she would have had to shave my hair completely off to bald then just did it while i was in that day but once my patchy starts this wk i will need to go shave the lot off dwn to my scalp bald im not looking forward to that upsets that something like this can take our hair im going to have total hair loss especially my hair &other areas i wanted control what happened to it the decision was to shave it off completely that bits nxt wk

  • Hi, yes this has really upset you & in someways it's taking your mind of the bigger picture. You wanted to control this as there's not much else you can control at the moment!

    The E45 will be greasy so you could try it at night & wear a little beanie hat, one you don't plan to wear out n about again. But even a bit of your usual Conditioner might help?

    Someone else may have replied by now but I'm still thinking of you & will get back to you if I think of anything else.

    Mrs N 😘

  • Hi there I have not experienced any of this but just wanted to say that pure aloe Vera gel is really good for sore and itchy skin. - it has really good healing properties and is natural too. I get eczema at the base of my scalp and it usually stops the itching and clears it up. Obviously make sure it is okay to use first. I used it when I had RT too and it really helped.

    Hope this may help.

    Louise 😘 xx

  • Hi there Trg3. I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Mine started to fall out 7 days after my first chemo, I certainly did not want that 'blown dandelion' look. I called my daughter's friend who is a hairdresser and had her shave my hair to the scalp. It did come back in patchy stubble so each time it did I shaved it myself with a razor. It was not long before it did not come back at all. I had chemo for nine and a half months so was without hair for the best part of a year. I also chose not to wear a wig or had as I have always suffered with terrible perspiration and heat, So having a bare scalp helped me in that department. It really did not bother me. However I know that many prefer a wig or a hat. I wish you all the best in the rest of your treatment. I am triple negative too. Take care TRG3, from Lainey66 xxx

  • PS, coconut oil kept my skin smooth and I did not have a problem when the hair grew back with itching etc.


  • Hello there trg3. I can relate to getting upset at losing your hair.

    I had long hair at my diagnosis last October. I did a Sponsored hair cut and went pixie short. Raised Β£650 too!

    It was unmanageable! So I went back to the hairdressers after 3 weeks and got a grade 3. A week later (itself a week and a half ago) I got my husband to do a grade 2. Then it started to come out when I tugged it a week ago so i stayed out of the shower til last Thursday and yes then it came out in handfuls. It is now the following Sunday and I have obvious patchy streaks in my hair at the back and round my ears. I haven't the courage to shave it yet.

    I can sympathise with you.

    However! Best bit of support came from my brother. He said losing short hair is a walk in the park compared to losing long hair and I agreed with him. There was also the control element that I valued at that stage.

    So I am glad I chose to get the long hair cut off, at the same time I am unable to chose to let the rest go! You have done what I can't and I applaud you upsetting tho it is - which I think I can relate to.

    Sadly there seem to be a number of things we have to adapt to, choices we cannot make. U r not alone. Do use this forum for support and questions and even fears, what you have the courage to say some one else may not (something someone else on here said to me!).

    I have a wig which delights me but have yet to wear it all the time tho that seems to be now!

    I am sorry I can't help with the itchy scalp, I hope you find something for that too.

    I really hope you find some peace with this and find something acceptable to you. Sending hugs 🌹🌹❀️

  • Hi trg3,

    First of all, I'm so sorry for your diagnosis. The hair is upsetting in the extreme, but there's no need to shave it any more than the stubble. Mine was sore for a week or so, then settled down. It's always stayed stubbly throughout my four chemos at three weekly intervals. If you choose the right wig, it can look great. Don't bother going with real hair, they usually look too heavy. The synthetics in a style close to your own will give you confidence. I too am triple negative with spread to liver and bits in lungs. The good news is the chemo has knocked it back considerably. I'm just back from my oncologist and he's happy with the latest scan and is giving me two and half months break from any treatment, then seeing where we are. Bloods came back normal. So, try and keep your chin up. Stay busy, do as normal things as you can ( I know it's very difficult). Meet friends, family and try and lighten their worries if you can, it helps me tremendously when I think about keeping everyone comfortable in my company. Some friends fall by the wayside, some are for real. Good luck with it all. Sending lots of hugs over the ocean from Australia. 😘😘😘

  • Hi jacbowden I'm glad to hear your good news, well done on getting to this point and mountains of luck going forward.

    Haven't tried the eyebrows yet but that may not be too far in the future! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜

  • Thanks ❀😘🌺

  • Hi Jacbowden

    Good to read in your reply to trg3 that things are looking better & the Chemo is doing its job, great that you can have a break in treatment for a while too, a bit of respite will be good for you. Hope the weather's good over there, wet n cold here β˜‚οΈβ˜‚οΈβ˜‚οΈ

    Take Care

    Angela 😘

  • Very warm here! A bit of in between would be nice! 🌞🌞🌞

  • Don't worry about it your hair would have come out anyway,whichever way you do it is devastating.I cut mine with clippers after 2days of pulling out handfuls so I knew it was the only way.My stubble came out in the shower and I didn't really notice it.Get some nice soft cotton beanie hats,they're so much comfier than a wig for when you don't want to wear it.Amazon and EBay are good for basic beanies and I got some with sparkling diamantΓ© bits on from Amazon,they make you feel better.At least in this weather you can wear a hat without looking daft,I lost my hair in midsummer but still felt I had to cover my head.It's not the worst side effect because it is temporary.I was also triple negative but only stage 2 and the chemo blasted the cancer after the 3rd treatment out of the 8 I had,it does respond really well to chemo my doc says.Stay strong,just remember its only temporary.Keep posting on here for tips and support,luv Vicky.x

  • Hello again trg3. Further to my earlier post. Today I saw my breast care nurse - with even striker hair - wore my wig. Cannot go bare headed any more. She advised I take the plunge and remove what was left and I felt it was the right time for me to move on. So when we came home husband clippers it right off for me. I was in slight shock at first for a minute or two then shrugged and thought to myself Time to move on and become the new person I am becoming. I'm not really sorry I've taken my time to get to this point.

    It will grow back.

    Meanwhile I am now sporting a soft cotton beanie i ordered online a week ago from!

    I also got my prosthesis fitted by the nurse today and feel almost normal again! I can now go to the pure stretch class at the leisure centre this Friday - couldn't go with a foam one! - and I feel liberated at the prospect!

    I have 2 social events this weekend to which I will be wearing both wig and fake boob and I am looking forward to it as I didn't go anywhere during my 1st cycle whilst waiting for it all to happen.

    So am in a better place now than even yesterday.

    I have had a productive day and feel good about it. I wish you more good days. I believe they will happen for you.

    Sending lots of empathy & hugs 😘🌹

  • Hi Debster2016

    Sounds like you've had a good day Debbie! Did I tell you when I went for my prothesis? I wore a horizontal stripped sweater, the fitter said 'You can't be serious?' Oh yes l was serious & l left there truly pleased with the outcome! πŸ’•

  • Hi Angela you do make me smile you rogue πŸ˜„. Delighted you got a happy result!

    I took a snuggish grey tee shirt and a black sports bra Too. The nurse said thank goodness the tee shirt wasn't black as you wouldn't be able to see! The grey one looked perfectly fine. All in all a good day πŸ˜ŒπŸ‘πŸ»πŸŒΉ

  • So sorry it was such a shock. I found washing my head with gentle shampoo and conditioner eventually dealt with w

    The wired scans and sites that appeared on my head at first.

    Good luck bxx

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