elderly diagnosis

[louisa73]

Hi all my nan was diagnosed with bc last week, she is booked in for an op next tuesday which she agreed to have but she is now having second thoughts. She is 85 but docs say she is fit for her age. They did offer tablets or surgery/radio and she is now thinking of having the tablets. I think she would have the surgery but she is worried about putting people out and being a burden when she has to be took for her radio. I dont want to push her into anything i just want whats best for her and dont want to lose her sooner than i have to. Anybody else been in this situation? any advice would be really helpful xx

[Lainey66]

I can only advise you on my own situation, I took surgery as I knew then it was gone. My friends mother also chose surgery, shi is into her 80s and is great now

[Jennymary]

Sorry to read of your Nan's diagnosis, maybe ring MacMillan next week and have a chat with one of their nurses who can advise you on this, meanwhile sending good luck wishes to you, your nan and the rest of the family xxx

[Vgrady76]

It's a very difficult situation, I can only speak from my own experience, I was only given the option of surgery which turned out to be the Lumpectomy route, it was very minor doesn't take a long long time to perform, recovery is quite quick...little bit of pain and soreness,....but reassure your nan that she would be putting nobody out and if she does choose the surgery the support that she will get is fabulous ...Radiotherapy is doable I've just completed my RT , an if she needs it transport is offered for people who cant get themselves to their RT appointments, the N.H.S have been fabulous with my BC treatment, an now yearly mammograms, an Cancer free, one positive thing about the surgery once it's over the cancer is gone. Hope this helps...x

[louisa73]

thankyou everyone for your helpful replies. My apologies i should have said i was diagnosed with bc myself in dec 2013 at the age of 40 but thats a little different to 85 so although i can advise my nan on the right thing to do i suppose its her decision. I hope as Vgrady76 said that she can get some help if she decides to take that route.

many thanx again xx

[Vgrady76 in reply to louisa73]

I'm only 42 yr myself, so I can totally relate to you and your nan....Hope you are doing well since your diagnosis 2013, I sure your nan will make a decision that's right for her...take care xx

[louisa73 in reply to Vgrady76]

wow weve both been early on that journey x i am doing well have my 5th year appt this december so im hoping i will be discharged even though that thought is scary too x i do hope you are doing well too and thankyou xx

[Vgrady76 in reply to louisa73]

Hi , yes as you know getting diagnosed in your early 40's is quite a shock, I've just finished RT yesterday...fortunately no Chemo for me that was a relief....and I've got a couple of follow-up appointments, then I'm on my own until yearly mammogram next June 2019.....It's so reassuring when I hear about ladies like you who are years down the line post diagnosis it makes my think Right!! Just gonna pick up life where you left it and carry on...just want to forget this ever happened. Kind regards!! X

[carolinenailsea]

Hi Louisa

I am very sorry to hear about your nan, its horrible watching someone you love going through this journey. It must feel especially difficult as you know what she is facing. A chat to Macmillan nurses sounds like good advise. I am sure the surgeons would only have suggested an op if they felt the benefits outweighed the risks but its not easy to have surgery and just because your nan is older doesnt make it any less scary. Good luck to you both. Caroline

[louisa73 in reply to carolinenailsea]

Thats true and i only want whats best for her without being too pushy x Thankyou xx

[MaryEB]

Hi Louisa,

If the surgeon has offered / recommend her surgery then that means they think she is more than fit enough to cope. If she is having a lumpectomy / wide local excision then it should be a short opp. with her not being under anesthesia for long and a recovery that shouldn't be too long & you will be able to spend the time treating her to gentle outings not dealing with the doable but waring daily radiotherapy visits, But tell her that hospital transport requests are not treated as nusences ( they are part of what NHS does) but they often are far from convenient so she could well be out for several hours for a 15 min rad session with hospital transport.

With surgery she won't have to live with side effects of meds for rest of her life (don't know if she is on any other tablets but the fewer as possible as people get older the better Multiple interactions so inability to accurately assign side effects to what tablet is often an issue).

I've had breast cancer opp. Radiotherapy & chemo & My mother took the option of surgery for bowel cancer at 85 (a major opp. with the formation of a stoma) which in hindsight was the right thing to do rather than living with the tumour ongoing meds & more extensive monitoring.

Hope experience of some use & Fingers crossed for her whatever she chooses.

Kindest

Mary

[louisa73 in reply to MaryEB]

I totally agree with you I have told her about the trips for radio so I think she shud b well prepared just hope she goes through with it now x thanku

[SarahMacey]

Hi Louisa, just to share with you that my Mum was 84 when she was diagnosed and she went ahead with a lumpectomy, followed by radiotherapy. She was prescribed Tamoxofen but decided no to take it because it upset her tum. 5 years on she’s still going strong and is amazing! I wish your Nan all the best and I’m sure the love and support from you and her family, she will get through this and comes out the other side,even stronger....her he and warmest wishes to you all XXx

[louisa73 in reply to SarahMacey]

Thank you so much x its lovely to hear your mom is doing well x it just proves it does work xx