I am feeling fatigue after 4 years on, post cancer. I feel debilitated and that I am fighting myself and struggling to be the person I used to be when I simply have to accept that I can't. I find that in itself a loss and grief of having to readjust myself to be something else which I am not sure as to what that is. I have 'good days' but then its an energy crash and I feel so tired and drained. It is completely frustrating and I am unsure as to deal with it sometimes. I eat the 'right food' and do exercise but I feel self conscious about my mortality so I push onwards to do and do feeling that I may not have the liberty of time. But that back fires because I feel so tired all the time and that my body is not what it was and I feel scared of my future and also that I am turning 40 so what the hell will my body be now? In terms of fatigue and coping. I feel the reserves that I had are no longer there and that in itself is something which is a loss and having to pace myself is something that I have to learn. I do yoga, mindfulness meditation and eat the right food. But I want to do everything and thats when the energy gets depleted. Its also the mental struggle, that I can't use my brain for long periods because I start feeling tired that way and I feel that is hard. I was planning to study but now I feel mybe that is too early and also having children I have to put back onto the shelf and think about just me and my energy which I have to use. How do other people cope post treatment? Its always about that the cancer has finished and people saying how good that you look when I feel so tired.....
Fatigue: I am feeling fatigue after... - My Breast Cancer ...
Fatigue
I can identify with the fatigue Oreo78. It is such a weakness that when it hits my eyes start to close and I physically cannot stop them. I have actually started to 'nod off' while in social situations, you know the one where you are in a conversation and suddenly your head does that slow fall, eyes flutter and then head rapidly snaps back waking you - only for it to happen again. Totally embarrassing and a conversation stopper to say the least. I have had to retire at the age of 50. I manage my days by painting, crafting, meditating, adding a 'siesta' to my days - after all its a lifestyle in Spain... thats what I tell myself. My 45 min to 1hour nap really invigorates me and helps me to manage my fatigue. I set the alarm on my phone in order that it is more of a restorative sleep rather than a deep sleep where I wake up 'groggy' and feeling yucky. A 15 min power nap leaves me just as fatigued as not napping. We have been through a gruelling treatment which has so many affects on our bodies. I hope this helps you and you manage to grab back some control over this awful fatigue. Sending love Lainey66 xxxx
Hi,I'm a year post treatment following chemotherapy,lumpectomy and radiotherapy and I am totally the same as how you describe.I'm working full time in a kitchen that pushes me physically and mentally and I'm exhausted when I finish work and really have to push myself to get even the smallest jobs done,things that i used to do daily without even thinking about I find really tough going.You are so right to try and keep active but you have to compromise on other things now i think,I think you need to forget how you used to be and start again,it's very frustrating especially with people who haven't been through it and have no idea that fatigue isn't just being a bit tired.It's just so hard when you have plans but no energy to carry them out.As always be kind to yourself and don't let your energy tank get too low before you rest.I'm in total agreement with everything you said,I think it's just how it is ,I keep hoping it will get better,fingers crossed for you.luv Vicky.
I too had long term fatigue and feel for you it is so debilitating. I was able to work with an Occupational Therapist specialising in energy management. She taught me so much! I had not realised how "expensive" emotional energy is. I am now aware that at times if stress ( checkups, anniversaries but also non cancer related anxiety or stress) will drain my energy so I plan ahead. I will reduce my exercise so save energy but try to build in something that makes me feel good. For me that is quiet time with a good book, a massage or coffee with a friend.
I needed to wipe the slate clean and start again taking each day and week with a new mindset. I no longer compare what I can do with who I was pretty cancer. I am a new person ( definately not a lesser me but a new me) and getting to this point has given me experiences and strength that I would not have had without cancer.
Most importantly, I allow myself to feel however I do in this moment, angry, sad, scared but also happy. I do not allow myself to dwell though and have a strict rules of ten mins max then remind myself I am here, life is good and I get on with living.
It's not easy, but you are doing great to have got this far. Your healthy lifestyle is fab the final stage is to manage the emotional cost to your energy levels. You are nearly there.
Not sure if this last thought is acceptable to you but I had a positive affirmation that I repeated before getting out of bed each day and frequently on my way to work. It was " I am so greatful now that I am happy healthy and have boundless energy". It helped reset and thoughts of I am too exhausted to do this. Worth a try?
Sorry for such a long post! Xx
thank you I feel its helpful that people feel the same as me, I have been readjusting my time and energy towards a new me, but I feel I need to accept that I can't do everything and that I am pushing myself too hard. I have hit the brick wall and feel absolutely shattered. I only work part time! But I do voluntary work and have my goals that I want to achieve and keep pushing myself too hard. I feel I need to step back and decide to take it easier now, I am reflecting on that. I feel a burden to my husband who I feel sorry for, as he is working full time and I feel that I am not having a quality life with doing what I want to do. Its harder as I have been having muscular skeletal pain, and seeing a osteopath as I stand for long hours in my job and I dont feel that is helping my body. I feel that I am always dealing with problems and never have it easy. It its hard because my husband also had cancer, but is back to exactly what he was before, and I am not so its a continious comparison with that. I am feeling low and also very tired at the moment and reflecting as I have a couple of days off work as to what I need to do. xx
Hi Oreo78, I can sympathise with you as 6 years after I was diagnosed and 6 operations later I still suffer from fatigue but having retired nearly 8 years ago (I am 63 this year) I am finally learning to listen to my body and not beat myself up if I need to have a 'rest' day. I worry about my weight as I am not exercising much at the moment (I used to walk and swim a lot) but I also tell myself that I can't do everything because in addition to the fatigue I am also 6 years older. I would love to be slim but I eat fairly healthily and my husband loves me as I am, with all my scars. What I think I am trying to say in a roundabout way is that it helps to mentally move on from the cancer, not worry about it coming back, accept your body for how it is now, listen to your body and put yourself first. When friends ask if they can visit I now have no problem telling them that I don't have the energy at the moment (getting their room ready, running around after them when they are here and cleaning up after they have gone) and suggest a time that suits me. In the past I would have entertained until I dropped but my body says no! My thoughts are with you.
Its the 'hitting the wall' that I have experienced, when the energy just crashes. I have just been literally sleeping and feeling crap. I was doing Zumba and I really enjoy that but Im not sure if I am overdoing it with that? I am accepting myself a little bit but I am fighting myself and struggling to push myself and I am in conflict with myself! I feel that I can't give that much to other people because I don't have the energy or particularly want to. 
Hi Oreo, you could be me posting, (and most of us I imagine). I'm 3 years post diagnoses but only had my final recon in Nov 17 and am just healed now so suppose its still early days for me re recovery. I get fatigued so easily at times, regardless of what activity I do. I try to keep active, I walk every day and play netball but some days it's a real struggle to move my body, it feels like a lead ballon. Sometimes I just want to go back to bed and stay there but I know that doesn't help and mentally I have to drag myself out and I usually feel better... but sometimes I have to give in so I do go back to bed and find that like a battery I recharge and can face life again.
Try not to be hard on yourself, we've all been through so much and our minds have been shattered just as much as our bodies and need to heal too. You are not alone and sometimes knowing this makes the struggle a bit easier. Learn to say no, be selfish, friends and family have to understand that energy isn't limitless and ours is much less than theirs!
Mindfullness is a good thing, I try everyday to appreciate the good stuff, my family, good food and drink (on occasion!), dancing when my favourite song comes on, regardless of who's watching.. I sing all the time and everyday I do something just for me, be it have an extra long shower/bath, have that piece of cake I shouldn't or eat the whole bag of mini eggs or even bingewatch my fav shows on netflix..
When it's bad I try to say to myself I didn't go through all this treatment, pain, anxiety, fear and sadness to just hide away and give up!
I hope you find what works for you, if you're struggling ask for help, your GP consultant or breast nurse will be very understanding... there are also many help groups out there, I've noticed loads on the board in my breast unit. Might be worth a shot?
Big hugs,
I hope you find something that works for you soon,
Nix x
4yrs on and fatigue is still a balancing act in my 'new norm'. Change happens all the time so I recognised my new 'norm' would be even more different than if I had just got older. I was medically retired 15 months ago at 58. Finding my balance involves lots of things already mentioned: mindfulness to clear the foggy cluttered head so I can think clearly; strong calendar management to give me time to recover after a hectic event; making sure I sleep well every night, accepting there are times when sleep is a must during the day to function and napping on the sofa for 45mins or so. I also recognised that the longstanding emotional anxt well-supressed within me takes lots of energy, so I have just started EFT - Emotional Freedom Therapy, to work though the history and let the emotion go once and for all which I hope will free up my emotional resilience and keep my head less cluttered. This new year we got 12 weeks free Slimming World and a GP referral to the local gym - 5 weeks on I have lost a stone and feel positive as a result. Finding the right mix of self-help is very individual so I actively seek new experiences, particularly via the charity sector. I have a go at most things once to work out those that I don't get anything from, and those to try again. It is so worth the effort, I am living life more than ever before and having a lot of fun. I have put all the draining/negative energy things on hold, and focus on the aspects of life which give me energy.
Keep trying and you will find your balance for your new 'norm' - and life will be good xx
I am almost two years post chemo. Tired a lot. I really just listen to my body. I do when I can and rest in between. What annoys me is oncology saying my blood work is normal so it's not the chemo. Maybe it isn't but jeez I had several surgeries in a short period of time. Can't tell me I shouldn't feel this way. By the time the northeastern part of the US catches up to the real answers that the rest of the world knows I could lose my mind. Take a nap and know that you have earned it.
I have had to drop a couple of things which has caused me a great deal of loss. I have no idea who I am any more and feel restricted to what I can do and what I can't. I had wanted to go back to study and even got the confirmation of acceptance. but felt that it would be too much demand on my body at this present time. I feel that I get lost amongst others in terms of their careers and jobs and I feel that I am not doing anything. my husband is studying and I often get bypassed by people who want to talk to him about what he is doing rather than discuss anything with me. I find it frustrating, I can off course do the course later on but i feel like a sense of frustration that 4 fours ago i would off have been able to do the qualification but cancer fatigue controls my life. my body just doesn't seem to want to do anything and I am worried as to whether I can cope with having children in the future. As I am 40 this year and I struggle with what I am doing and my husband doesn't see things the way that I do with anything. So I feel alone in managing my life and my recovery. I feel trapped in a body which doesn't do what I want it to do and a life which I don't feel I have much existence within but have to be simply satisfied with the face that I have so far survived cancer!
Zoladex injection versus Oophorectomy.
A month until my first annual checkup and feeling scared
