British Pregnancy Advisory Service
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sad and confused

iv dun pregnancy test sat and sun and both have come up pregnant and im nearly 2weeks late and im never late ! we have 2 girls alredy one nearlty 7 and the other 2 1/2 . the youngest is a nightmare she dosent sleep hardly eats shes got reflux and silent reflux which shes on medication for , shes very boistrious and everywer . we are getting on so much better than we have for years so iv told my partner and hes said I need to terminate as we haven't got the room and things are just picking up for us we have a few family holidays booked for 2019 and one involves a long haul flight to florida and hes said hes not taking a new born to florida on 10hour flight!!!! I personaly don't like the thaught of getting rid as its mine alredy he said it dosent matter as its nothing atr the moment . ino we haven't got room but you always make room and you always cope . im so stressed and I really don't no what to do any advice would be greatfully received , hes also told me not to tell anyone. so if that's the case im going to have no support as he wont be there because hes working and ill have to sort the other 2 girls out aswell . my head is just throbbing with what to do !!!!

5 Replies

Hi Heidi

Your a Good Mum and your 2 year old is a handful but we have all been there.

Your Husband is no Support what's so ever.

He tells you too get rid of your Child and don't tell anyone.

That doesn't say a great deal about him and then he goes off to work.

If you want your Baby keep it.

If he doesn't want his Child let him go.

If he loves you, he should love his baby.

No Man would ever give me an ultimate over My Baby.

Speak too Netmums, Gingerbread etc



Sorry you feel so confused and alone and that your husband isn't being very supportive. It's your baby as much as his and he can't make the decision for you. If you feel you want to keep the baby then that is what you should do. As you say, you will find a way to make it work, perhaps your husband is in shock, he will probably come round in time. It's wrong f him to say not to tell anyone, if you have a close friend or relative I would talk it through with them in confidence. Good luck xx

1 like

Hi There,

I'm so sorry to hear what a rough time you are having. I think you really need to be able to talk through how you are feeling with someone neutral like your GP, or nurses at your local contraceptive clinic. Ultimately what you decide to do, is your decision as no one can force you to do something you don't want to. Do you have contact with your health visitor for your youngest, as they too can help support with your younger daughters health issues, and lend a listening ear with your current situation. They would either come to you or you would go to clinic for her 2 - 2 1/2 year review. Please try and talk to a healthcare professional, as they are not the same as talking to friends, and you do need someone to help support you.

Best Wishes



Hi, I would say do what you want because at the end of the day you are the person who has to go through a termination. If you can't and you don't want to then don't as you will regret it and it could possibly cause real resentment in the relationship. Sorry but I think he is treating you horribly! Its an awful situation emotionally to put someone you love into. He is just as much responsible for making the baby as you.

I know this isn't going to be an easy decision whatever you decide but you have to be 100 percent and not do it because you are being emotionally blackmailed. How can you go through that alone with no support from him? It's really uncaring.



I really feel for you. It is a hard position to be in but you need to do what is best for you as you will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. If you think you can cope etc thrn have the baby. It's nice to consider partners in the decision but it's not fair when you have pressure put on you to make a certain decision that you probably wouldn't make if it was up to you alone. It's always gonna be difficult... I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and 8 week old and had to have blood transfusions in labour as I tore an artery and they diagnosed me with a blood clot in my lung a month ago because of my pregnancy so I'm on warfarin for 6 months. I also have building work starting this week so it's all happening and it's tough and stressful and I want to scream sometimes... but I wouldn't change a thing!! My two girls will share a room when baby is older and my son has his own room... you make room when you have too! What I'm trying to say is its never easy and it's never going to happen as you plan but that's the best way and how we make amazing memories. If you want this baby do what you feel is right. Hope this helps and you are ok!

Shauna x


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