update on partner

hi it been ages since i wrote as ive been busy , it bee a tough couple of weeks as he has been ill enough to have the ambulance called twice this week .

what been most difficult is due to where his cancer tumor is they cant put any dressings on his lessions so he has been pretty sore, but for me it because he let slip hes told the doctors not to tell him or me how long he has got left to live . plus im trying to keep him comfortable and with me not knowing if the cancer has progressed or not is making it difficult to decide on what possible action to take so end up getting in touch with the medical professionals that we have contact with for the advice. luckly with their advice i realise that i have done the right thing at the right time . how often do any of you feel the same way .

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  • Oh gosh , so sorry to read this and be aware of how difficult this is for you the partner of a cancer patient . Your post has made me think of my partner and what it must be like for him . Thank you for that .... Stay strong .. It's a shocking decease ... You sound as if you are really empathetic to his situation . I wanted to write dilemma but that word just doesn't describe anything like this situation . Thinking of you lots this morning in the early hours , those times when our situation has its time and place to be thought of with its place of importance in our fragile lives . We try and hold these thoughts at bay but at 5 in the morning they surge forward .. Sending gentle hugs to both of you .

  • Be strong and god bless. The medical chappies are better equipped today to help you.

  • martin they can't do anything for him except keep him comfortable as he has other medical problems that make the danger of surgery to high on the mortality score . so they cant operate if they did he would have only three percent of surviving after the operation . as they wanted to do a colonoscopy so he would have a stoma bag but his heart condition is weak so that out . But he as comfortable as possible at the moment .

  • hi everyone here is an update ,

    he's been doing well at the minute except his cancer is leak through, and getting depressed due to having little social activity or getting out as much . i'm trying to get respite care for me to be able to have a break from caring and to get him out a bit more .Then on Thursday after getting turned down for the day care service as i've done that good a job he still got his mobility which is limited and getting worse by the day and able body enough to deal with his personal health care need except for putting the spray meds on his cancer and shopping , ordering his med and remembering to take it. The district matron recently been asked if we would move and they place they suggested in a retirement and care housing as all the nurse think i'm his daughter but im not im his common law wife.There is 33 years between us as i'm 41 years old and he is 74 years old . im his full time carer and haven't had any respite at all . we have very little support from friends and family .