A few months ago I had my very first panic attack - out of the blue.
To say the experience was 'terrifying' would be an understatement. Death was in my peripheral vision. I swallowed my embarrassment and told those close to me that I loved them - just in case.
I had two more panic attacks after that, the most recent being the worst. So far, paramedics have been called out three times and I've been sent to A&E twice.
I have become severely depressed, sleep deprived and permanently anxious ever since, as if an unseen entity has flipped a switch in my head. I wonder if my old self is gone forever.
I also have high blood pressure and arrhythmia, which I worry about. The worrying most likely raises my blood pressure, so I'm locked in a self-perpetuating cycle.
I believe one of the reasons I've become like this is because of the way the NHS works and the way conventional medicine works. Combined with the lockdown, all of these things have chipped away at my emotional resilience.
Being told by an NHS nurse that I might have a heart attack or stroke if I didn't take medication, planted the seed of this particular anxiety.
The impossibility of obtaining face-to-face doctor's appointments. The compulsory wearing of face masks, which feel suffocating. The arrows we have to follow on the floor. The warnings of imminent death that are printed in blood pressure medication patient leaflets as -'side effects'. The side effects themselves that cause one to feel worse than before.
The exhaustion from battling to speak to a doctor in order to get a medication changed for another. All of this is a rollercoaster of stress.
I won't use my home blood pressure monitor anymore because, should I have another high reading again, I know that I'll only get stressed, call 111 and risk another panic attack.
So for people like myself, who suddenly find themselves in the grip of an anxiety/panic disorder, I'd say a 24 hour blood pressure monitor is one of the WORST ideas in the world. To have one's arm squeezed tightly at regular intervals by a machine can only remind the wearer of their own fragile state of health.
It was never explained to me how these monitors worked when I went to have one fitted, but I instantly knew after seeing the self-inflating cuff being demonstrated to me, that an unexpected grip of my arm would only fuel my anxiety, raising my blood pressure in the process.
I’m so sorry this is getting you down. Are you not able to have a video consultation with your doctor?
I can offer two possible ways ahead. The first is to speak to your pharmacist. It’s part of their job to review medication with you.
The second is relaxation, breathing and walks in the countryside. Nature is a healer - can you walk outside? Listen to the trees and birds. Breathe slowly from the tummy not from the top of your chest
I agree that taking your own BP is probably a bad idea. I would not do so personally
Do let us know how you get on but don’t stop medication without professional advice.
I won't suddenly stop taking medication, but I stopped today to think about things and I realised the process itself is making me sick. I don't know if that makes sense.
Try an online free app. I found Glenn Howard helpful as his voice is soothing and it does help. He does relaxing hypnotherapy and meditation. Also soothing music.
Hello Ella, I am so sorry to hear of your problems. I whole heartedly agree with Happyrosie's suggestions. I used to be a dispenser for Boots and have first hand experience of the knowledge and training of the pharmacists.
The breathing exercises are also very useful as you seem to have found out.
I have been on medication for high blood pressure for many, many years and I am still here to tell the tale, and I will be 72 this year. It took a few changes to said medication but eventually my GP found the right combination. I had a bit of a blip when I was diagnosed with a condition that required long term treatment with steroids, 2 years in total. I had to have another medication when my blood pressure shot up as a result but my GP soon sorted it.
I hope you can see that long term "conventional medicines" are not a bad thing and remember that the leaflets are written for a wide variety of people and in this day and age they have to cover themselves. I also hope that you can get your face to face appointment, would it help if you sent them an email with all the above copied into it as you have made it plain how you are being affected. Sending you gentle virtual hugs, Jannie.
Jannie, thank you for your thoughtful reply. Your words of comfort are much appreciated.
I am on my second anti-hypertensive (Ramipril) and I've begun to experience fleeting mild chest pains. Something I've never had. So now I'm thinking about phoning my GP again - the nuisance I've made of myself.
It's a good idea, but I would rather not forward my post to my GP because it's critical of the NHS. At the same time there are aspects of the NHS that are wonderful.
I found that I get chest pains with some meds.Not surprising when you think what the meds are doing.Also arrhythmias are quite common with meds. Used to panic but not so much now.
OK, Ella how high is your blood pressure? Do you need to measure it regularly?My blood pressure was dangerously high before I was diagnosed last year and I was in hospital for five days.My biggest fear was that it would zoom up again and I became very anxious about taking my bp.My GP suggested that my husband took it but didn't tell me the numbers.I felt like a kid but it works and I have halved my meds so far and will probably need to reduce it further in the future.The situation re. doctors and covid19 isn't great I agree but I'd rather not catch the virus.As for panic attacks...well I've had those too.What helped was CBT, arranged by my GP and available online and by text and also meditation (I found a class..online at present).Taking the meds was horrible at first due to side effects but it does get easier and they do help.
Thank you, Letting Off Steam.
My blood pressure has been 190 and 175/110.
When I calmed down after a hospital visit for a panic attack it was 160 in one arm and 140 /97 in another arm.
Today I'm experiencing short intermittent chest pains or pangs that last a second and then go. Emotionally, I'm not a strong person. I could cry - but there are no tears.
I will have to call my GP.
I live on my own so I have no choice but to take my own blood pressure readings, which will stress me.
I sincerely hope you're well, and your husband too. Sending hugs
About taking your Own BPs. . I think I said before, I wouldn’t take my own BP but if it needed to be done I would ask my husband to do it and write it down without me knowing the result - far less stressful.
In your case, I believe it is perfectly legal in your circumstances to ask a good friend or relative to do it for you. Clean hands and machine and wearing masks and above all not talking face to face. Safeguarding overrides other considerations.
I appreciate you might. It want to do this, but it’s a possible way forward.
I can fully understand you as I am feeling all these effects as well. Diagnosed with Hypertension just 1 year ago. Lost over 4 stone in weight since then. Had to go to A & E 6 times in past year . So scared of all the hype we hear or read. Does not help with no face to face with GP. Makes me feel even more isolated.
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