The bad is that after the meeting on sunday the managers said they had reached the same conclusion as us and that she probably wouldn't 'rally'. They agreed she should be allowed to stay in bed most of the time and certainly not dragged out half dead and taken to meals. They put her to bed on sunday afternoon and she has been there ever since.
The doctor came on Tuesday and said its still possible she might rally after a time on bed rest but he thought, as we did, that she is failing. He said it could be weeks or months. He said physios for her broken hip not relevant and as long as she is up in a chair a (to avoid pressure sores and fluid build up) for a couple of hours a day then she should be allowed to stay in bed. Thank goodness for that! He filled out a form for us with questions such as - should she be ressuciated if necessary - we said no to all of them. We said we just want her to be allowed to die in dignity and peace. And thats whats happening. The home is actually a very good one. But they did say that their training is to try to do something which we appreciated. They said that the wishes of the family and the advice of the doctor will be followed. All the staff say they really like my mum and they are certainly going the extra mile to look after her. They are trying to get her to eat normal food which she isn't really but they are giving her hot chocolate (which she loves) with build up drinks in and making sure she is drinking enough. They can't do a drip as they are not allowed to in a care home. She is taking the chocolate and plenty of drinks so she seems ok for the moment. They check on her very regularly and are very patient and kind to her.
The family are all taking time to sit with her mornings, afternoons and evenings. We are all anxious to spend as much time with her as possible while we still have her. We don't think it will be long. She hasn't spoken for about a week but she is still opening her eyes from time to time and we get the odd smile. At least she knows we are there (sometimes). We talk to her about the old days but get little response.
It really helped me getting all this down. Its great to know that my friends care and know what we are going through. Its really sad that many of you have been through it and I really understand now what its like.
I am a lot calmer now after my hysteria on Sunday - thank goodness. I never cry, or very rarely. Thank you all again.