Wow it's getting ugly: Went to beach... - British Lung Foun...

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Wow it's getting ugly

hope132
hope132
10 Replies

Went to beach yesterday last night sitting on pier relaxing looking out at ocean get a text my sisters husband my brother in law physically threatening me to be a man and if my sister had a nervous breakdown he will find me and if I tell her it will be worse.he is tired he says of doing everything.i should step up I guess live with my mom.i let him have it but not all the way have to worry about my sister.whether I go there or not it's my choice not his not my sisters only my choice.tells me sister does everything whatever that means,been there so many times I lost count,sister has alot of money I don't.anyway folks you know how many times he went with my sister to see my dad over the years when he was sick zero never went and is not even coming to the funeral tells me he needs tires and car won't make it.i asked my sister why he has never come has to watch dog has to be hand feed bull you know what .hire someone to watch and feed dog.anyway like I said I let him have it but backed off cause of sister.i am never one to not say what I feel but I did it for my sister.well this made me realize folks I'm done I've let it all go my dad is dead he had a great life time to go on life to short,not gonna try and win fight with this moron don't. care not worth it don't care what other people think never have but less now,just not worth it .he is telling me sister is loosing job her father died helping her mother like I don't do anything.told him live long enough people u love die,people loose there jobs yada yada its all part of life.welcome to the club.gotta let it go life happens on with the next day.just wanted to get it off my chest.pretty crazy though huh folks being threatened by him with physical violence after my dad died.like water off a ducks back .this is the human way and I accept it.have a great day and thanks for all the kind words

10 Replies
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hypercat54

Your brother-in-law sounds like a @%$$£%! Block him x

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sassy59

Not a very caring man but you don’t want to let him come between you and your sister. Take care of yourself hope and see how things go. Xxxx

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Whitechinchilla

Very sensible advice.

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sassy59

Thank you xxx

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Ergendl

It's so true: you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Yes, block him.

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Bingo88

So Sorry for all your on going problems. From this so called man. Tell him to get up and do something to help or just shut his mouth. You and your Sister if possible, would be better working as a team looking after your Mom,and supporting each other. She would be better off without that big lazy bully too. Hope things cool down. Thoughts are with you Brian

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Whitechinchilla

You need to care for yourself now hope whatever that takes.

But don’t let him come between you and your sister.

You can’t calm the storm.

But you can calm yourself.

Wishing you peace.

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esther333

Sometimes in life you have to let go of people for your peace of mind and to be able to move forward.

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Response

If he is such a bad man then your sister needs your support.

You don't need to move in with your mum as but if you have time to look at the Ocean whilst you're sister is doing everything, perhaps you can have the time to meet with your sister and sort out a schedule. You don't even have to half of the caring, just some regular genuine help. e.g. a week of your holiday or one weekend a month? This will help your sister feel less abandoned to the sacrifices accompanying caring. ( As a carer who was left "holding the bady" by her sibling and knows the sacrifices involved, -job, youth, money, sanity -and how painful it is to hear that after years of not 1 day off, the sibling is going on yet another holiday), I think your sibling would love a chat with you alone over a coffee, saying what you can actually do rather than what you can't. If you are doing regular help, or helping organise help instead of you then there's no issue, but leaving one sibling to do everything is cruel to her, (if that 's what the husband is accusing you of), why should she do it all? and if she has a husband who threatens you not to talk to her, then either he's abusive and she needs support or perhaps you could discuss your contribution?

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Rich1957

Care doesn’t cost anything other than time , maybe your mother needs some ❤️

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