Can't Cope...I'm Off

There is a poor woman on the FaceAche COPD group whose husband is leaving her because he says he can't cope with her illness...apparently he's all packed and ready to go at the end of the week.

You'll know I complain endlessly about Himself and his little foibles...but I hope the underlying current of humour shows through when I do.

He did find it incredibly difficult to begin with...the very hardest part for him was understanding I had no memory whatsoever of my collapse...and still don't.

But he's getting there...he makes up my bed and understands when I sleep until ten in the morning...puts the washing on and hangs it out...even empties Murphy's litter tray which I never expected. All that he does is done willingly and without any complaint...whether it's waiting with me in over-heated hospital waiting rooms or loading the shopping into the car in the pouring rain.

Nor does he grumble when a package of wool arrives for me to make another blanket...he must find that hard actually, 'cos he's a bit tight over money...better than he was though.

I still lie in my teeth about the cost of the wool though...usually knocking a good 10 % off and then secreting the receipt.

And I know he thinks it's quite potty to have another kitten...especially if Susie has to remove one of its legs...but he'd never make a huge song and dance about it...

To live with someone, who has at some point promised to care for you 'in sickness and in health' only to find they can't cope and are running away must be devastating...

I did feel so terribly sad for that woman...COPD is a horrible disease...we all know that. Not to have the love and support of your have them tell you they can't cope with you being ill...

21 Replies

  • nearly gave me a heart attack with that title...I thought you were leaving for a moment.

    I agree with your sentiment though

  • Hi Vashti what a horrible person she will be better of without him the poor woman

    I bet if he became ill she would be the sort of person that would take him back and look after him

    You take care


  • Yes it is awful isn't it?

  • Poor woman,what a selfish man.

  • Flamin' heck I wouldn't give him till the end of the week what a great disappointment for partner of 18 years wants us to get wedded...💏

    I'm back on faceache , had a good break and want to keep up with the kids!😆 xxx

  • Hi Vashti what is Faceache?

  • its facebook

  • I hope she is strong enough to kick him up the backside, or throw his things out of the window. Preferably cut up into pieces.

  • Vasthi, Himself sounds like a wonderful wonderful man, much like my darling :) we are lucky to have such great men in our lives. Woop woop for us :) xx

  • It makes me realise how lucky I am to have my hubby who never complains (well not to my face anyway) ha ha!

  • When my husband became disabled I automatically just looked after him, and when my health declined we just look after each other, it is how it should be. :-)

  • Very sad.

  • Diagnosed in November 2013 partner of 5 years left 7th December 2013. 2 months ago I gotta letter from the t##t!!! GUESS WHO WANTS TO BE FRIENDS LOL. Stress free life is definitely the way to go. He can do one LOL. Xxxx

  • Dear Shocked l what a worm. They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a good one guess he was a frog :-) :-) :-) :-)

  • That's mild to what I call him LOL , best thing he ever did to me. I'm doing great now. Financially and mentally!!! Take care. X

  • It is unbelievable Vashti - I know of a woman who left her husband because he was ill and she couldn't cope! I have never thought of leaving my husband because of his COPD (other faults maybe ha ha!!). It is difficult and it is heartbreaking seeing someone you love suffer but as you say its in the contract "in sickness and in health". Hope that you are keeping well and enjoying life as much as possible xxx

  • Never had anyone like that in my life, but I guess with himself that's what they call .......LOVE?! XX

  • Hi Vashti, that sort of thing happens from time to time as people sometimes only stay married while they are having fun and all is well - sickness and in health is fine but not when the sickness bit hits. It is very sad and leaves the poor woman without her partner but what can she do? Hope she finds someone to love her whatever happens.

    Himself is a star, most of the time anyway, and loves you for you. Pete and I have been married nearly 42 years and I would not dream of leaving him because of his illnesses. He is still my rock and I am his so we do fine together. I had no idea what sarcoidosis would mean to us both, but soon found out, and was shocked with the COPD diagnosis but life goes on and we are very lucky to have each other and our wonderful family nearby plus HU family too of course.

    Wishing you well. Take care.

    Love, Carole xxxx

  • I looked after my old darling for eight years - the consultant said he "might have 2 years if the drugs worked"; I used to pull his leg shamefully about that! We were just 9 months shy of our Golden Wedding when he was called to Abraham's Bosom - see, I can even write about it with humour now because I remember the good times, not the awful stuff when I had to decide whether to resuscitate (that was taken out of my hands when he decided to live another 4 years), having to try to lift him in the middle of the night, not easy - he was a big guy. I remember his face when he saw our son for the first time - the man who didn't want kids was besotted! How we supported each other when my darling Mum-in-law passed; how he always managed to buy me flowers even though house-bound - we get out of life no more than we put into it, and selfishness - in that guy's case callousness - comes back to bite you on the bum. His illness had a pretty bad effect on my health too but I would never have wanted it any other way

  • Oh Dragonmum that was so moving to read hugs huff xxx

  • The poor woman must be devastated but it's good riddance. Hopefully she will eventually find someone who will love and care for her xx

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