Have they got this right?

What a year this has been. Considering that 13 is my lucky number!! I thought am I in denial? Always faced things faced on but struggling right now. To be honest, been struggling since first post and that's what makes me think am I getting it wrong. Diagnosed July 2013 with COPD after spirometry reading of 73%. In next few weeks had, they told me, chest infections and had antibiotics and prednisolone. Nurse had me back for another reading which said 69% but never explained to me that shouldn't have reading so close to an infection.

February - Chris taken suddenly into hospital and ended up having open heart surgery.

February - told MRI scan showed cancer in kidney

March - I had chest infection and fainted whilst coughing

and went to hospital and had blood tests and chest x ray and they came back ok.

Given prednisolone, antibiotics and inhaler. Never had inhaler in my life.

Ok after that and all well............. working etc.

June - couldn't breath. Went to GP and had spirometry. Reading of 73% and told had COPD. Given 2 inhalers, Qvar and ventolin and sent on my merry way.

2 days after that, my son told me him and his wife expecting their first baby. Wow I needed that as would be my first grandchild.

Trust me I have nagged my 3 kids saying when will I be a Grandma.

Chris had op eventually and no cancer. Thank you God. Spent 7 months thinking it was.

My son and his wife lost their baby. No words necessary

Chris always said to me, have they got it right? Denial maybe but breathing is pants. Despite all inhalers they through at me makes no difference. Chris came to GP with me other week and finally they will refer me to consultant.

GP seems to think I am hyperventilating. Could that give me a false spirometry reading?

My lovely daughter Natalie went on holiday Sunday and phoned me to say her boyfriend proposed, so lovely wedding to look forward to.

So why the hell do I feel depressed? Don't tell the kids that. Feel like I have been hit with so many things in so little time.

That does feel as if I am feeling sorry for myself. I'm not

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  • Oh dear! My head would be spinning! Take it one step at a time and concentrate on the positives. No cancer. Chris is still with you. A spirometry reading of 73% is not too bad and you are being referred to see a specialist. Give the BLF a ring too. I hope things keep improving. xx

  • I agree with Toci,twinks1954.Look forward to the good times. That should bring a smile back to your face.

    KOTC

    Your daily tonic

  • hello twinks1954 ,good grief what a lot to deal with a right emotional rollercoaster!!! Sometimes when its pow,pow pow and then more pow good and bad you can start to run on auto pilot coz you dont get the time to deal with any one thing at a time so just keep getting knocks you kinda get spaghetti brain so when something lovely,great and happy comes along you cant unravel that bloody spaghetti quick enough then get frustrated like you said dont feel elated about your good news,But you have started that now by telling allof us so hopefully there is asense of unloading.try and take sometime todump the stuff you dont need to hang on too,like your hubby being cancer free,nolonger a worry now time to celebrate that fact .Ithink youve been seriously scared and worried this year and maybe a little panicky thats allowed i would be hyperventalating all over the place in your position when things worry us we all react in some way,overeat,stop eating, chew nails to the bone,,run to bed,hit the bottle,!!.have a cuddle and cry with your hubby or close friend andtake your time everything is going to be just fine.,AND NOW JUST BREATHE AND START TO FEEL BETTER. Ihope i havnt spoke out of turn,Please takecare thinking of you.Janexx

  • Hi twinks, take a deep breath (well as deep as you can), smell the flowers (if not allergic) and look ahead. It is really hard at first but dumping the rubbish would be great so you can sprint forwards into your future with your husband and family. Good luck. :-) :-) Alison

  • What a roller coaster! Wow its a wonder you are carrying on - you have every right to feel bowled over. You tend to cope in the midst of a crisis and you have had many of those this year and your health will not have been your priority. I just wonder if the BLF helpline might be able to give you some advise re: hyperventilating giving spurious results. I think you can find the number if you click on the red balloon. If nothing else it might give you some reassurance and some ideas of what to ask the consultant. Take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself, your sort of year takes some time to recover from. With much love and kind thoughts TAD xx

  • Hi, I was wondering if the depression you are feeling is just a reaction to all the stress you have been under recently, hopefully its just a stage you are going through.

    I have been told I hyperventilate too, pursed breathing helps. I also used to do the Buteyko Breathing exercises but did not keep them up, there is a web site though. Stress can effect your breathing rate, I think making you breathe deeper and faster.

    I used to take Qvar and Ventolin for my asthma, but I have a problem with all relievers unfortunately.

    Hope you feel better soon

  • Dear twinks, anyone would feel stressed and depressed having had what life has thrown at you this year. You have really been through the mill and believe me, I know how the loss of a baby (grandchild for me too) can affect you. Life can be so cruel at times especially with your poor hubby suffering in such a way.

    I truly hope that things improve for you very soon and that you get to see a consultant and get all the help you need. Good luck to your son and wife for the future and hopefully you will be a grandma soon. Lovely news about your daughter Natalie by the way.

    Thinking of you and wishing all the best. Love, Carole xxxx

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