it’s coming up to three years need to vent.

[wjb2]

It will be three years on 4th of March since my massive HA and then triple bypass surgery at the end of that month.

For some reason i’m getting wound up about this up coming anniversary every single physical thing i do has my mind racing into worrying about the least bit twinge in my heart area. I often get nerve end buzz where the cut into the chest cavity and normally i call that my outside pain and don’t worry about it.

this winter has really taken a toll on me physically as well as mentally this is adding to my anxiety over my heart health . My pulse and BP are in the areas i been given by my rehab nurse after my surgery rehab at home.

Any way thanks for letting me vent once more.

[Blearyeyed]

Sorry you are feeling like that.Anniversaries are hard and we all get confused feelings.

It's actually uncommon not to feel like you do as one comes up.

On the one side , you feel really happy and grateful that you have got to another year without incident.

But that positive feeling gets bashed about by old memories of what happened popping in your mind.

You remember everything and in a way also feel grief for the time before you had a heart attack .

Everyone, to some extent has a mild version of health related PTSD if they've had a big health event that led to an operation and lifestyle change.

It also makes us more sensitive to every feeling or pain , even if throughout the year when we aren't being reminded of our Heart day we are desensitized to the same exact pains and have got used to them being normal.

It can hit home harder if it happens in Winter when you might be stuck in more , less occupied with activity and fed up with the gloom, or if you've had other health issues that have made you feel run down.

I know it's easier said than done , but close to Heart Day , it's even more important to try and find ways to be positive , relax your mind and body and find ways to distract yourself. Posting like this is a good start but talking to people about how it makes you feel helps things not to get too bad.

Remind yourself that your memory is what's causing these feelings and choose not to dwell on the worry thought but let it pass by without giving it your attention and substitute it for more positive thoughts instead. This is actually a scientifically researched successful version of CBT called MCT which reduces Anxiety and Depression in people with existing health conditions or after a health trauma.

Plan realistic bucket list things for the year , looking forward really helps retrain your body and brain to stop reaching back.

Do a little enjoyable interest.

Speak to a friend rather than text about something fun.

Hum a tune or listen to music while you hum, humming is a known way to distract the body and brain from negative symptoms.

You literally can't overthink while you hum.

All things pass , the anniversary will come and go with you still ready to live another year, the winter will turn into Spring, thoughts will turn to better things , you will slowly recover from current health issues, it's just really frustrating that you have to have a dark spell before you can see the light again.

Take care , Bee

[wjb2 in reply to Blearyeyed]

thanks For your reply: I don’t really want to talk to my family, they must be sick to death of my worries, more importantly our Daughter has mental health issues and struggles with discussing my health . Hence venting on forums does lift a weight of me. I’m a keen motorcyclist and when out on the bike it’s full concentration and worries just aren’t in your head. Strangely a trip out in the car doesn’t have that effect i still find my self worrying about the issues.

its been sunny so have had two nice mornings pottering around in the green house which has helped no end.