All normal feelings for what the two of you have been through. Your emotions will settle down with time, but take care of each other for the time being.
(I had open heart surgery 6 weeks ago. I still sleep with my hands over my chest as if that were going to keep someone from cutting me open again. The brain is a funny thing.)
That’s an easy one, find your nearest Red Cross and borrow a toilet surround that makes the toilet higher, or the OT may help, but I didn’t need one. I had the same as your mum 5 years ago, it takes some getting over, I was 73, I think it’s the surprise and shock that you aren’t immortal more than everything. Let her do what she wants but don’t baby her. I stayed at my sons for a few days but I really wanted my own home and my own routine. Don’t worry too much about food, small changes slowly otherwise when she goes home she will eat what she feels is best anyway, don’t become frightened of all food. I am a long term Diabetic so diet is restricted and I don’t drink alcohol but I eat the occasional fish and oven chips, I eat cheese, milk, as I have Osteoporosis, don’t worry about a few Tuc biscuits, they are a very small part of a diet. It’s all about moderation. Keep calm, Big Hugs, things will improve.🫂🥰
I don’t know where you live but here in Cardiff I contacted occupational therapy who supplied me with a raised toilet seat so much easier they gave me 2 1 for up and down toilets hope this helps get well soon and don’t worry you will be fine
Not to do with my cardio stuff, but I had triple fracture of femur 2 years ago. Husband contacted local OTs and they had everything ready for me coming home - actually left two types of toilet aid to see which suited best. I found the “armchair surround” much better for me - gave confidence that I wouldn’t fall off midstream (!) and the chair arms gave something to push down on when getting up again. Maybe ask if Mum can try both, and see what suits her? Thinking of you both x
In this area (NE Scotland) yes, it’s the local authority OTs who are responsible for domicíliary provision of aids. I think it may vary in some parts of the UK, but ‘phone your local council main switchboard and ask? Good luck!
She's coming out on Tuesday. I've read about cardiac rehab on the BHF site and signed up for it. I've signed up for all sorts
That's good to know. I'll let her guide the progress.
What about food? I just bought some tuc biscuits as she likes a snack, but then realised the fat and salt. It's going to be tough. No fish and frozen chips, no cheese, no sausages? Less of.
Sign up for copies of the British Heart Foundation magazine, go online and google them, there is lots of information and guidance. They also have a telephone number to call so you can speak to a nurse with any worries. All the best to your mum
For lovely recipes very quick and easy search heart UK heart healthy recipes.
I was emergency middle of the night, I had two stents.
I’ve gained so much from the people on here, they have made me feel so much better with their wise words and encouragement. I am sure that it will help you and your mum a lot too.
My very best to you both, it takes time to get your head round everything 😊
I will have a go at saying what this is. (Please correct me anyone who has more/better knowledge and can explain it more accurately .) please note I have no medical or HU background and my thoughts here are just what I think I have learned over time so there are potential errors!
It's a support forum which has moderators who check that certain guidelines-which you can read- are adhered to, so it avoids controversial or misinfomative type posting/replies. I have no idea of the history of it or how long it has been around. I chanced upon it , I read posts most days but don’t often reply. I am interested as I have high cholesterol and have done so for decades so try to keep my heart health as good as possible. Your post is exactly the sort of request for support and practical information that it welcomes.
A follower is someone who has engaged with your (your mum’s ) story and so will see future things you write.
Messages can be sent on the open forum or some times someone might choose to have a private/non open/non monitored .
If anything is ever inappropriate you can report it so that the monitors can intervene/deal with it.
I hope your mum begins to feel a lot better very soon. Keep asking questions here as it will help you and your mum. Rehab , if she can get it, sounds very useful both physically and mentally.
Regarding food, Mediterranean style diet will probably be what you are advised for her, you can Google this but it focuses on plenty of vegetables, fruit, nuts, fish (not the deep fried /battered sort), lean meat, olive oil. So an example of a good lunch could be fresh salad or soup. Salt, sugar and saturated fats are not the good guys!
Ask at the hospital, maybe there is an information sheet written by NHS dietitians you could use. If not rehab, or your GP, may be able advise where to find more details .
It will be a while before your Mum starts to feel better, the physical and emotional side of things will need time to process what has happened.
I would recommend if your local health authority run them, for your Mum to attend a rehabilitation course. I found it so helpful and was surprised at the age range of the group I was in - it really does cater for all ages and abilities.
Apart from the physical rehab, it was the subjects they covered each week, about the the heart, how it works, why what happened has happened and more importantly to me at the time, that it is perfectly normal to feel how you may be feeling. I am sure they would be happy for you to attend with Mum.
Get the next couple of weeks out of the way and rest - time will help.
Sorry for you both. As you both must have been very frightened and your mom probably thought she would die. But by having the stent and now under the care of a cardiologist she will get all the help she needs . But it doesn't mean she can't have a full active life . But until she gets her head around that fact she will be frightened to do things . But it's important for her health physically and mentally to be active . Even going out of a walk everyday . Most hospitals have exercise class for heart patients if she joined she would be with others like her and make friends .
Encourage any hobbies she has to not give them up . But please don't keep watching your mom in a worrying way . I know that's hard. And don't wait on your Mon hand and foot she can do things for herself. Even when my mom's dementia made her forget to do things but she could still do them if I showed her and talked her through it. It was important that she still did things while she could.
My dad had his first heart attack in 1995 didn't feel a think only he couldn't breath. Had his second on an ECG machine still didn't feel it . Once out of hospital he just carry on as normal only thing he did was stop having salt in food . It's only the last year of his life he went down hill he died in 2007 aged 80.
My brother has 2 stents in his heart and one in his brain when he had a piece of metal hit him on his head and caused a bleed on his brain . He has a hip replacement. He's 65 and swims for hour every morning and makes sure he does 10,000 steps a day . Plus his very active and full time carer to my sister in law who has MS . But she doesn't let it stop her doing what she wants.
Many here have heart attacks and stents but live full lives. I have a rare hereditary neurological condition and disabled from birth plus found out I was also born with small hole in side of my heart and have PAF . Didn't fine out what my disability was until 2022 and only because my neurologist had my whole genome genetically tested. He has never had a patient with it nor his colleagues. Didn't find out about my heart until 2020/2021 after having echo and bubble echocardiogram and MRI on my heart .
Best thing you can do is treat your mom as normal she may lose her temper with her but don't stop her doing things . You both still have long life to live .
Your mum will find what’s comfortable and what she needs some help with, toilet seat riser is a good one, along with little changes to begin with, you being there for your mum is a big positive, let her do the cardio rehab
I wish your mum all the best in her recovery onwards and upwards now she is out of ITU
Slow and Steady wins the Race. Both of you take your time, cuddle and love a lot. There is so much professional help out there. Before your Mum is discharged ask as many questions as possible, and a contact number. 🤗❤
I'm sure it is a great shock to you both, but life will improve - as testified by all on here. Little and often is best with food and something she fancies. As others have said, let her do what she wants, but not stay in bed all day!
It's most unfortunate when this happens, you have to let it take it's course. We hearties all have to go through this in gentle stages. Just keep monitoring her help her along the various steps until you both can get some control over this. Believe me it is doable. As long as you remember this will be a new way of life.
Had a similar experience to your mum in early August. I've been very confused, very tearful. Keep offering her the opportunity to share her feelings but be prepared that she might not understand them herself right now. Take it slowly. I'm only just starting to find the strength to talk without crying. For me, the heart attack was the trigger to reflect on almost everything, the past; the present and the future. Keep listening.
I had heart attack in late January, and had a stent fitted. In my case only 1 was needed - it is often more I believe. I was 59, so younger than your mother. And pretty fit.
You should be offered Cardiac Rehab clinic by the hospital (I believe this is NHS universal). Take it. In fact, take whatever is offered. I had an hospital outpatient assessment with the rehab team before going onto the actual clinic. In my area it was 8 weeks duration, twice a week. Attending will help rebuild her confidence, as well as helping her cardiac fitness recovery.
If you are not doing so, attend all follow-up sessions with her and take notes, if you can (but not the actual rehab sessions) At her age with the shock of the unexpected she may find it difficult to remember or even take in stuff that is important and you want to refer back to. This was a tip given to me by a relative who had a cardiac arrest (triggered by a heart attack).
Follow the rehab teams advice on what to do/not to do. They may be cautious at first but they will build up. She should have had a briefing on discharge about what to do in the first weeks. Did that happen and were you there to listen to it? If not, I'd be going back to them. I'd assume it will vary depending on circumstances.
She will have had an echocardiogram while in hospital, which would tell you what level her heart function was. It would be good to know this and I'd expect this to be on her discharge notes. Just be aware that normal function is specified as "55-60%", so don't panic.
FWIW: I had a 5 day stay in hospital (made longer because of the weekend and lack of consultants to do the stent). I came out late Jan. I was deemed OK to start rehab clinic in about 4 weeks IIRC. I was back on a bike doing some moderate cycling by mid-late March, and doing longer rides by late April (including having the confidence to go out solo). It was only a few months before I did 40+ miles, with decent hills.
My echocardiogram a couple of months or so after discharge showed that my heart function had in fact returned to normal even though it was degraded a few days after the HA, so no permanent damage. That was a massive relief. Again, I'd expect her to be having an appointment for this to happen. This will tell you whether heart pumping function has been permanently affected or not. But even if it has, the degree to which it has is important.
She will now be requiring various checks that would be done by primary health care (GP), particularly blood tests for various things (essentially checking on side effects of drugs). I made sure I knew what those are and at what points they are meant to happen. I didn't trust the GP system to be on top of it.
My main message is that there is definitely life after a heart attack. It is a shock when it is so unexpected but don't be too scared by it. The relative I mentioned earlier: his situation was considerably more serious than mine: about a year later he was doing Ride London, which is a 100 mile cycle ride.
I was 70 when I had my heart attack with no prior warning. That was 6 years ago. How your mum feels will depend on how much damage it did to her heart and whether she gets side effects from the tablets. I was like a total zombie on bisopralol; just slept all day. It was changed. She is now under the care of her GP so contact him with any worries. He can get advice from cardiology. Rehab won't be for a few weeks bu t they will give you a book with lots of advice .
It takes a while to settle on the tablets so let her do what she wants to do, just pottering around the house at first. Is there a physical reason why she can't get up off the toilet? Or just weakness. She won't do too much, her heart won't let her but gentle exercise is good. Sitting in a chair all day isn't. The blockage has been cleared with the stent so it's not likely to happen again.
It is a massive shock realising that you are not immortal but that does improve and rehab will do wonders for her confidence. IT may do you good too to go with her and just sit and watch so you can see what she can manage under the supervision of qualified nurses. Take it steady with changes to diet. Just cut out fries and pies at first then make steady changes. It will benefit all of you.
Keep a check on possible side effects of tablets and good l uck. Ring the BHF nurses if you are worried.
I have absolutely no valid advice to give but obviously many great people have in this forum.I can however wish you and mum all the best going forward xxx
It is always difficult to be optimistic after a heart attack bit like living with a time bomb but I have 10 stents and had a heart attack about 2 years ago and still manage to stay quite active, shopping, gardening, house work, all the usual stuff so tell her there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take time to relax and recuperate. Best wishes.
Before your mother is discharged tomorrow she should be given advice about what she should be doing in the short to medium term to aid her recovery. Apart from medication, there will be 'lifestyle measures' which cover diet, exercise, body weight management, alcohol, and smoking, all to reduce heart health risk. If she was fit and active before her HA she will need to find out how to restart exercising in a measured and progressive way. She should also enquire about 'cardio rehab' which should be offered to her (although not guaranteed) about six weeks on. This is usually run from the hospital by a dedicated team. All that said, there is plenty of information on the BHF site about recovery and lifestyle, and the BHF Heart Helpline nurse is available (see below). Finally she will need time to come to terms with her new situation, but rest assured there are many on here who have had long and happy lives following their heart event, so the future should be viewed with optimism. Finally , if your mother is computer literate, I suggest you encourage her to join the community with her own identity in due course and she can then participate on here in her own way and time. I hope all goes well.
I am 71 female, fit active and healthy but had a heart attack 6 months ago, an absolute shock to the system, I was on holiday at the time, so ended up being transfered by blue light ambulance to Galway hospital, the care there was amazing,I can understand your anxiety but honestly you are best to treat her just as normal , don't over fuss, she will know how she feels herself and let her trust her own body,,,,, I would have been horrified if someone had asked for a toilet seat for me
I have had a few little hiccups since but the thing thst I have learnt is that ythe mefication, although a bind,,, , does keep you safe
I have done a course of cardiac rehab, which was very helpful and does help your own understanding of your condition
I am just back from 2 hours working in my allotment,,,,, and while I probably can't do as much as I did I have a good quality of life
Don't make her an invalid I would hate that and I'm sure she would too
She will value just someone being there so I would say relax and listen to her
Hi. Getting up and down off the toiet I found was no problem but my hubby did have to lift a wee stool into the bath for me to get a shower. He had to wash me the first few times and i was totally wiped out afterwards! Thimgs did improve after a week thankfully. Her body will let her know when it needs to rest which will probably be often in the first few weeks.All the best. Jules x
I'm looking forward to reading all of the wonderful replies. Thank you. I might read them properly with mum tomorrow.
She is on her way in a hospital taxi. I've not seen her since before the heart attack as she was sent a long way from home and I don't have a car at the moment.
It has hit me what has happened. I think as I've not lived it along with her, I feel bereft, like did it really happen, she didn't die, or I'm expecting her to drive over with coffee and muffins still.
She has been looked after so well. One staff member from Barbados she has really loved.
She went to the toilet, then started shivering hard, shaking, freezing cold. She got back in bed and wanted wrapping up. Soon was warm but that was frightening. If it happens again I'll call the number in the pack of paperwork she was given.
Mum is doing well. She has tingling in her fingers on her left hand. Otherwise just a bit sore everywhere. Eating well, really pleased her energy slightly better. I managed to help her shower today and she felt she was very cold. She's scared of being cold now.
Still in shock. Her discharge summary said her bpm went from 60 up to 220 so they had to shock her heart. Frightening!
2 weeks ago she had a heart attack. A STEMI and a PCI and her heart was shocked as too fast.
She gets very tired from 2pm. Has pain from then and needs 2 paracetamol.
Wakes early. Eats well. Bad wind ha ha Some mild circulation issues. Weak and frail in the evening but walks in garden and makes her own breakfast in the AM.
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