11 weeks after his heart attack update for hubby.

[ShamuCatlover]

It’s been a rocky road but at last he’s doing well.

11 weeks ago hubby had a couple of heart attacks, arrested on the ambulance on the way to the regional cardiac suite, had 2 stents then 8 weeks later 2 more stents. He has severe heart failure but at yesterday’s appointment his cardiac consultant is hopeful this will improve, given time. He’s due to start cardiac rehab in a few weeks.

Unfortunately we also had some very upsetting news 2 weeks ago, his 36 year old nephew suddenly collapsed and died without any warning. Post mortem is inconclusive but possibly cardiac related. This obviously hit my husband very hard, he feels incredibly guilty that he survived and his young nephew didn’t. This has knocked his confidence, but his consultant was very understanding yesterday, and explained that he is doing really well considering his cardiac disease.

I’m doing my best to support him through this latest devastating news, but sometimes find it difficult as I worry about him so much.

All advice is welcome. Thank you 😘

[Seal59]

Sorry to hear about your husband’s nephew. Your husband’s own heart events are emotional enough so to have that happen as well must be very difficult for you both. I’m afraid I haven’t got any advice but hopefully when he goes to cardiac rehab they will help with the emotional side as well as the physical.

[Wingnutty in reply to Seal59]

Pretty much what I was going to say. This couple have been through so much over the last few months, they really deserve some unexpected good news now.

[MountainGoat52]

Unfortunately life is not a level playing field. We are all different and we lead different lives. Some people die young, even in childhood, while others live long and relatively trouble free lives. There is absolutely no reason why your husband should feel guilty having survived while his nephew has died at a relatively young age.

It is understandable that your husband feels sad about what has happened, but I think all we can do is be thankful for what we have and look forward in life. With medication your husband's condition can and will improve. I have a friend with heart failure who has improved considerably and he regularly climbs hills, travels abroad and is enjoying life. Maintaining a positive attitude has been key to him doing this and I certainly found being positive helped me recover from cardiac surgery.

Hopefully cardiac rehab will help with your husband's recovery, both physically and mentally. I would encourage both him and you to look forward to a long and happy future together.

With my very best wishes,

Gerald

[BeKind28-]

Hello

I am so sorry about your Husbands Nephew and I can imagine how this has made your Husband think and feel especially after what he has just been through

I think it can be normal if we are older and have been lucky to have recovered and then we lose someone younger with something to feel all sorts of emotions even guilt that we survived and they didn't but we are powerless over this and the fact we made it and they didn't was totally out of our control

Someone once said to me and not sure how much this is true but from the moment we are born our life's are mapped out and maybe his Nephew as awful as it is was mapped out to be here till now which does seem so unfair

All you can do in my opinion is what you are doing now keep telling your Husband the loss of his Nephew is not his fault and he could do nothing to prevent it

Your Husband as to grieve for his Nephew as well as a kind of grieving for himself what he has gone through and all you can do is listen and be there for him and if he is really struggling then he needs to ask his Doctor for help but he will work through this his own situation will take some time and now with the loss of his Nephew it will add some more time maybe for him to deal with it all but he will get there as they say time is a great healer and I hope he physically and mentally heals soon

Let us know how you get on x

[Sanmo]

Couldn't start to give you any advice on how to cope with the recent bereavement, but at 11 weeks into recovery it's still very early days, at 11 weeks I was an emotional wreck and physically very weak indeed. I arrested on 4 occasions between my heart attack and getting to hospital. Once into rehab things improved quite dramatically, the unexpected bonus was the emotional healing, talking to others with the same story gave me belief. I had my heart attack in Switzerland and was told that it's recognised that heart patients that arrest have a much more difficult emotional recovery, this makes sense to me. Through the rehab team I went to see the Cardio psychologist, boy things improved on my very first visit, only had 2 visits and the second was probably not needed, that first meeting was the big turning point for me. Many heart patients I've spoken to say they didn't feel quite right until about 1 year after, this also ties up with my own recovery. I now do loads of gym work, hill walking etc. I'm physically very good now but very occasionally have a little emotional wobble but they're getting few and far between and don't last so long, sometimes only fleetingly. The support my wife's given me can never be underestimated, she's played a massive part of the process.

Remember the recovery is a long distance race and not a sprint, you'll both get there.

Good luck.