I’ve literally just signed up to this forum so bear with!
Im looking for any similar stories to my dads.
So just over 2 years ago my dad suffered a heart attack followed by quad bypass surgery.
Coming out his road to recovery started and he made some big changes. He’s of a decent weight with a good diet but packed in cigarettes and less trips to the local.
Obviously this was a scary and anxious time for anyone! All in all I think he was in hospital for 5-6 weeks.
Coming out though he was different. This man had never had an anxious bone in his body. The most confident outgoing person. He’s doing everything he can to try and help himself but nothing is working and he’s just having back to back panic attacks.
I’m unfortunately familiar with anxiety and depression myself and manage well with medication so have tried to help but he’s been on sertraline a good 10 months, tried others before that (as he’s 2+ years through this) and nothing is working.
Does anyone know what he can do? Baring in mind he’s tried and tested therapy, some but not all anxiety meds, increasing exercise etc.
I don’t want to see my dad not getting out of bed for the rest of his life.
P.S were ringing the doctors tomorrow.
Just want to see if anyone else has been through this particular situation and what they’ve done to help!
Thank you
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Dreamer93
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I can relate to some of this but in a way I am opposite as I was an anxious person before I had my first heart attack and triple Bypass and 2 years on I still am and even worse now and get very depressed to
I know he has tried therapy and meds but therapy sometimes does not always work the first time it can take several attempts so worth thinking about it again
Also with the medications for anxiety and depression it can take several attempts for some people before they find the one that works for them so even though your Dad has had a few maybe worth him giving another one ago personally I do not take meds but I know plenty that do and when they have found what suits them they have really helped
Meditation is something that really helps as well as listening to apps for anxiety and depression I am not sure if there are any local support groups in your area as that is something else that could really help
When you have a heart attack followed by Bypass surgery for some it makes them struggle in this way but I believe we have to keep chipping away at it until things improve
I am glad you will be speaking to his Doctor and insist help is needed , let your Dad know he is not the only one that has been through this and feels the way he does and maybe set little goals he can try and achieve
Sometimes instead of the way we were we have to find who we are now maybe not the same as before but can even be a better version in a different way if that makes sense
I hope he gets all the help he needs and let us know how he gets on x
I think when i see him tomorrow this is something that i will try and explain, that maybe this has changed you but doesnt have to be a bad thing. I'm just hoping something works for him soon because i know panicking every day cannot be good for his heart.
Panicking every day is not good for your heart but as an anxiety sufferer it is something I do and cannot get control of
Maybe show him this site unless he would be annoyed you had spoken about him seeing he is not alone can really help as you do feel so alone until you read others feel the same x
Hi. It’s a really difficult one looking on when it’s somewhat difficult to fully relate to for you. The only helpful advice I can give is that he is not alone in this and, from experience, reading and listening to others in the same situation gave me real confidence mentally. I was also on Sertraline for a while. Cardiac rehab also really really helped me to gain confidence physically. I’d assume your dad had this at the time. Good luck and I hope he gets the support he needs
You don't say the age of your dad or whether he was in hospital because there were other health related problems.
Very many people on here have general anxiety problems as does society in general. Many on here are also anxious about every untoward twinge they get and imagine the worst and perhaps that is how he feels?
You also don't say if he holds down a job or is retired and therefore has a lot of time on his hands so has time to get worried about previously trivial matters?
I had my 4xbypass in May 2022 and it took time before I could be bothered to do anything. I found going on holiday (in this country) helped, as invariably there is a lot of planning to do but it gives a focal point and creates new memories rather than his old memories being punctuated by his hospitalisation
This time last year the last thing I could contemplate was flying, as there is an awful lot of aggro and planning involved and its not as easy as it once was, what with all the delays and security.
So I am planning a 45 min plane journey from our nearest regional low key airport only 30 minutes drive away, where you walk to the terminal from the car park. As its in this country there are no customs etc or all the anxiety associated with large airports. Its short enough (3 nights) to only take a cabin bag, so again no anxiety about waiting around for luggage. Hopefully that will be a springboard to face the greater rigours of going abroad.
Perhaps you dad needs a 'project' to keep him occupied and give him back his confidence that he is still a fully functioning person. Either a holiday, getting deep into a hobby, volunteering?
Hi I definitely agree going on holiday helps, a few days in a different environment just takes your mind off things. I live in Scotland and our airports are tiny compared to the English ones and so much easier to get through, I always take a cabin bag and get a taxi to the resort It's so much quicker and less stressful than a bus. We never take package holidays so we can mix and match suitable flights. We were in Majorca last week and it was lovely flight's on time and the weather so much cooler than high summer. I hope you have a great time on your short break and you can look forward to going abroad next year. Take care char.
Still very impressive. There is someone on this board who had his bypasses 40 years ago so it gives comfort to people such as the author of this thread-and the father- that life doesn't stop
Exactly! A family friend had their bypasses 30 years ago, the impressive thing for me is they're celebrating their 92nd birthday soon (without significant heart issues) - gives me comfort too
It would be very interesting to build up a portfolio of say 20 people on this board with varying heart conditions who have achieved good recoveries as that would be an inspiration to the many very concerned people that post here.
Sorry it was very brief as my dad doesn't know i've reached out so wasn't sure on how much detail to share! He's in the generation where anything online is a scam or hack, not very trustworthy of tech lol.
So my Dad has always been healthy and wasn't in the hospital prior to his heart attack. He's always had High Cholesterol as long as i have known but always took care of himself and his diet. He is now 55, he was 53 when he had his heart attack and surgery.
You hit the nail on the head there! Even a hiccup he thinks it's his time! He says that he's not going to be around in a few years, says it lightly but i find that hard that he thinks that. It's like hes convinced himself which is half the problem i know.
Yes he is retired, he retired around 50 and holidayed a lot, that's what took up his time. But now i think he sees his home as his comfort blanket and doesn't really want to leave. He panicks that he'd be somewhere where an ambulance couldn't reach him etc.
I think your advice is fantastic, i'm going to do everything i can to try and figure out his 'thing' that he can focus on, thank you so much for the advice!
He is only 55 so has many years ahead of him. The NHs wouldn't carry out these expensive operations if they thought the patient was going to keel over a few days later. Did he get any rehab after his operation?
I am 72 so had my quadruple bypass at 70. I will be doing everything online when I go away for a few days in a couple of weeks time (although things generally are much more complicated than they used to be-humanity seems to like to make things more complex every year!)
I was writing web pages in 1995 so whilst your dad may be technologically challenged he would have been only 30 when the internet started to come in and emails started to become common, so hardly of a generation that would have been afraid of hitech.
Perhaps his big project could be learning how to be more digitally literate (not meant unkindly) With winter coming on it will keep him secure and in the warm. Does he use a tablet or have a computer at all?
I also do suggest a holiday of some sort, it can be close by, but they do have hospitals in other parts of the country!
Just a side note, and hope you won't mind, once you've helped your Dad perhaps speak to your GP about your own risk. 53 is young for your Dad when he's lived a healthy life.
The son of the gentleman (now 91) was started on statins soon after his Dad's HA because of the deemed risk. Both father and son are doing well as a consequence!
HiSo sorry to hear about your dad and his anxiety and panic attacks...not nice at all. Firstly he's very blessed to have such a caring loving daughter.
I can only say you're dad has been through a major life changing event which is bound to have affected him psychologically and physically, he's done very well up to this little blip with anxiety.
I suffered really badly with panic attacks many years ago. I barely are which doesn't with panic attacks. I could go to work and be absolutely fine, but as soon as I got home the anxiety kicked in. I couldn't go on holiday or even days out with my husband and children. I couldn't visit my mum who only lived thirty minutes from me, it was so debilitating. My GP prescribed antidepressants and it did take a while for them to work but they didn't stop the anxiety attacks.
What I find does/did work for me was reading a book subjects I never thought would interest me, like Quantum physics. Although I didn't understand it all I was determined to keep reading that book to the end and what I didn't understand I looked up online. I then also started crafting. Easy things at first I made a huge papermache cat and called him Picasso. I then started knitting never did make anything I could wear or anyone else could for that matter.
Now thirty years later my anxiety is still around but I still find respite from this darkness by crafting and reading current craft had epoxy resin art and even though I say so myself I'm pretty good at it. The current book I'm reading which may be of help to you is The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, he's a doctor and excellent author.
I really hope that you're lovely dad starts to feel less anxious and panicky soon he just needs to find the right lightbulb moment to get his curiosity and creativity going. I'm sure he'll be fine, try not to worry too much you are just as precious to your dad as he is to you.😊
Your absolutely right. My dad died very suddenly when I was 18. Many times since then and I'm 65 now I've wished he was still here. He was so funny and he liked a drink when he wasn't working, he never once raised his hand to me or my two siblings. Tell him how much you need him in your life , what an amazingly brave man he is and he will overcome these challenges. If you can come through heart surgery your a hero it's massive surgery .Tell him a nutty 65 year old woman who doesn't have all the answers says it's ok to take time to recover and to embrace the super hero inside.
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