disappointed again

[Dogloverxthree]

just had a phone call cancelling my counselling appointment for tomorrow, last week same thing happened which should have been my first one , so desperate to get started ime walking the walls at the moment, hate being alone haven’t found a house mate yet !!!!!

[Hidden]

Did they give a reason for the cancellation? Hang on in there and loom after yourself. Hopefully won't be much longer! X

[Dogloverxthree in reply to Hidden]

they said she’s still sick, I just feel like running away, mental health stinks when there’s no one

[Tos92]

Hi Dogloverxthree

I’m sorry your appointment has been cancelled for the second time, I’m imagine it’s quite frustrating.

Unfortunately, counselling has a massive back log. I think they have still yet to keep up with some people that were referred to their services during covid as well.

Is it worth getting in touch with your GP and telling them that you’re in crucial need of counselling at the moment and these cancelled appointments aren’t helping and see if they can get that message across to the mental health care services? Unless you have a direct number for them yourself.

Let us know how you get on.

Tos x

[francesw47]

Oh, how irritating. Why don't you call them back and ask if they have any idea how long she is going to be unwell - which will give you an approximate timeframe to work on. Is there a local MIND in your area or similar, or Age UK. You could try phoning and talking to them and see whether they can offer support in the meantime. They are usually very good. And yes, mental ill health is unpleasant particularly if you are alone. Keep talking to us as well?

[GFFF]

morning Doglover, so sorry to hear of your situation, unfortunately it is all too common these days. Struggling with mental health is an odd situation because it makes you feel all alone, in reality the vast majority of us on here will have had issues, some will have had minor anxiety, some will really struggle. Unfortunately there is still a huge stigma around talking about it do well done for opening up. Are you able to get out at all, perhaps for coffee morning etc, I believe age UK offer a befriending service where you could have someone call you each week, it might not found much but I know people who really look forward to those calls. Take care and keep us posted with how you get on x

[Dogloverxthree in reply to GFFF]

thank you for reply, yes I can get out but I have to come home again to an empty house and the reasons for this are unbearable for me and I can’t put it on here to share, but heart and other health issues make it so much harder to cope with

[GFFF in reply to Dogloverxthree]

ah ok makes sense, nothing worse than an empty house with memories xx

[1234_6]

Hi Dogloverxthree

Hang in there!

While you wait for your therapist to recover, may i suggest you try journelling.

(1) Just write how you feel - let your frustration anger, pain and tears spill over the page

(2)Approach this as if you were writing about your concerns and worries to a good friend. You can do this in several short letters or one long one. Write, then put it aside for a while, have a cup of tea, then go back and read it ... as if you were that good friend ... then maybe write back - how would you respond? What else would you say to calm them down? Encourage them, etc.

(3) Do Q and A sessions as if a friend were talking to you and you were answering. Q: How do you feel? A = ........Q,= Why do you feel that way? A= ....... Q = What could stop you feeling that way? / Is there anything you cojld do to stop you feeing that way, etc?

Also use the time to consider noting down all the things you want to discuss with the therapist in order of importance - so that you have a check-list and things don't get missed as conversations move on. I suggest the using this list in Session one to agree with the therapist what you really need to concentrate on / to get help for.

For someone to talk to try:

- Age UK

- Mind

- Samararitans

- Sane

There's also different Crisis numbers for the same organisations and the NHS, but I hope and 🙏 that you won't need this.

Please check with Local Authority, Charities and Faith Groups and your local library and adult education centre to see if there are any activity clubs that you might be able to join or any befriending services offered, or even if there is a pen-pal scheme to join. Also check about transport sevices that might be avaliable too.

Re-assure your own Inner Child that solitude in the peace and quite while being on your own is not a bad thing, and that it is safe, as this exercise may also assist to assuage some of your loneliness.

Wishing you all the best.

Please know that even though things are tough at the moment that they will get better and that there will come a day when you feel brighter again.

Good luck.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to 1234_6]

thank you,

[Betty_boo in reply to Dogloverxthree]

Hi Dogloverxthree, can really relate to this, I’ve benefitted from counselling several times over the years and know how much I invested in the appointments. So, so sorry it keeps getting cancelled. I have benefitted though from your post though, as the advice from 1234_6 is just perfect for me - thank you both. Gonna screenshot that and keep for when I am really not having a good day.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to Betty_boo]

all my days and nights are bad, glad it helped you though I live in hope 😞

[Bingo88]

That is not good at all. Can you ring them back and tell them how much you are struggling. Please take great care looking for a house mate. You need to be careful these days. Brian

[Dogloverxthree]

I thought it was the best plan as I don’t want to live in sheltered accommodation not ready for that 🥴

[Partner20 in reply to Dogloverxthree]

Have you checked out reputable agencies such as ShareMyHome and Homeshare UK? Younger people are matched with older ones and provide a few hours of assistance of any sort in exchange for free accommodation. The bonus with these schemes is, of course companionship and another human presence in the home. Many years ago I took in lodgers on several occasions for financial reasons, but the actual presence of another human being was often comforting. Just make sure, as far as possible, that anyone you invite into your home is genuine, as there are some odd people out there unfortunately. I hope you find the help and companionship you need before too long. Good luck and take care!

[Dogloverxthree in reply to Partner20]

thank you for your reply, I really want somebody to help with the cost of running the home as well, as my daughter and I shared every thing equally, and companionship she was classed as my carer if and when I needed help, but we socialised as well we were very close, that’s why things are so hard, I really can’t afford to support a house guest and I would like somebody nearer my age.

[Partner20 in reply to Dogloverxthree]

I completely understand. However, don't dismiss the idea of a younger companion completely, as they can be quite fun, supportive and energising!! I am of a similar age to you, and I would not necessarily choose to be surrounded by people the same age as me, which is the image that sheltered housing always creates for me. The newer concept of retirement complexes and villages is far more inviting, but these come at the cost of a considerable financial outlay, not manageable by the majority of us, I would think. I consider myself very fortunate to be sharing a large house,(and its costs and upkeep!) with an ex-partner, and we are both kept busy with weekly visits from our grandchildren and associated school runs. Very lucky too, to have supportive daughters not too far away. I know exactly what you feel about coming home to an empty house full of memories, which certainly puts a damper on what could be enjoyable times out. I really hope you will find the ideal solution for you soon. Just a thought, have you tried local Befriender schemes? My elderly neighbour found great pleasure in being paired with a lovely lady living nearby who would visit, chat, and take her out. Wishing you all the best.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to Partner20]

I’m writing again as my reply just dissapeared, I think that’s a good idea about befriending I will check with age uk. I don’t want just somebody phoning me I actually want human contact I still drive and can get out and about and quiet a young nearly eighty, but after what has happened I’m mentally battered and have to try and make a life for myself before it’s to late !!!! Thank you for replying x

[Partner20 in reply to Dogloverxthree]

Do find out about befriending, as bona fide schemes will vet people before matching them up. I totally agree that human contact and company are infinitely preferable to just a phone call every niw and then. It's good that you can still get out and about, but understand that you need more than just solo outings. Most of us need something positive and enjoyable to look forward to, and being in the company of others can improve our mental well-being, too. Hope you will soon be taking steps to a much brighter future. All the best!🙂

[Dogloverxthree in reply to Partner20]

thank you for your understanding x