Such a good day but now 😢

[Valentina98]

Hey Everyone

After today's doctor appointment and lunch with Mum I even walked to my house (with Mum keeping an eye on me) and back I was tired but I did it.

It's been such a lovely day but now I just want to cry! Ugh

V x

[Tos92]

I’m sorry to hear you’re still feeling down in the evenings. The dosage on your anti-depressants have only just been adjusted so it will take some time until they take effect.

You’re much stronger than you think.

Keep going ❤️

Tos x

[Valentina98 in reply to Tos92]

Hey Tos

I'm just fed up of being at Mum's, I want to be at home, at work, running. Doing normal stuff.

V x

[Tos92 in reply to Valentina98]

I feel the same way when I stay at my mums when I’m not feeling well and miss the routine of being at my place, work, friends and all of the other things in between. But it is the safest place for you to be at the moment x

[devonian186 in reply to Valentina98]

I think you've just summed up your problem. You are used to being active in a school environment with all that entails and your horizons have now shrunk giving you more time to feel sorry for yourself. An evening walk somewhere with lots of trees or nice gardens to see might pick you up especially if that could be with friends or colleagues to get the latest gossip.

[Heyjude31]

Well done V, but sorry to hear you are feeling down. Remember it is still early days x

[Valentina98]

Will it? Every time I do something good, I go about 10 steps back

[Valentina98]

6 weeks.

I wish I had a time machine and this not happen to me.

[Hidden in reply to Valentina98]

Yes to have a time machine. That's where I keep going. But we have try and move forward, baby steps. Keep strong

[Harveyone]

Hi Valentina glad you had a lovely day.Its ok to feel a little sad later completely natural.Yesterday is history tomorrow a mystery today is a gift from God that's why they call it the present.One day at a time V.😉

[Cavalierrubie in reply to Harveyone]

Love your words Harvey. 👍

[Cavalierrubie]

Love and prayers. Hang on in there. You can do this. Think of the joy of the morning coming and all those that love you and are with you every step of the way. Each day is another one ticked off to getting better.

[Hidden]

Hello

The positives is you have had a good day

The Doctor said to you there is no wonder you feel the way you do remember her saying that so she knows this is quite normal

Night times seem to get to you and when you are down there can always be a certain part of the day affects us more

But so much has happened and even though you are doing things now after all you have gone through your mind has not yet caught up and processed everything these last months have brought and then it hits you and the tears flow

Let it all out you have to have that release and slowly the tearful nights will get less and less but be kind to yourself and say it is ok and this will pass

Hope you feel better than when you posted and have managed to relax reflect on all these good days with plenty more to come x

[22alfie]

Hang on in there it will get better. Slow and steady wins the race. Things will improve 💞 x

[Czech_Mate]

Yes, let the all the bad feelings come out, you don't want them inside messing things up. Then before sleep look back at the day and find at least a couple of positive things that happened, yes they might be small, but the small things can be the most important. The way someone smiled at you or another positive communication, feeling or experience, something from nature. Then concentrate on these. Those should be at the forefront during the night. As we sleep and the brain does its work, we need to give it positive things to build on.

We are with you.

[Cee-Cee1]

I remember saying to my sister soon after my HA & op last year that I just wanted "normal" back again - all the medication, trips to hospital, doctors, tests - it was all just so confusing and worrying - I wanted my life back. She told me that she finally understood what I'd meant when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in October last year and it helped me to understand what she was feeling - she got the "all clear" two weeks ago. 😃😃Hurrah! It does get better, Val, you'll see. It just takes a while but you'll get there. Carol xox

[Hidden in reply to Cee-Cee1]

Yes it is just to be normal what I want back, but with a congenital issue. Which I have grown up with, I don't know normal only my normal. My sister had stage 3 breast cancer and does understand, but she is stronger than me. But the sad thing is I did not know how it felt for people until now. I have alot of self pity. But basically my confidence has been knocked. All the tests I have had, all show positives except for my epstein anomoly. Which cause certain readings to show normal for epstein anomoly, it is stable. So my mind thinks what does stable mean, same as it was 20, 30 years ago or is it worse, better? But my mind now knows and it will not calm down. With worry. The trouble with epsteins anomoly basically my tricuspid valve was manufactured too low down in the right ventrical, therfore my right side of heart is not efficient. It's not technically heart failure it is just a manufacturing error. But thats where I have to ensure my blood pressure is controlled, which it is. And she, my cardiologist is happy with that but that comes with annoying side effects. So the mind has something else to worry about. It's just a vicious cycle. But it's just a journey that will hopefully get easier. Take care