Hey everyone
After last night's nightmare, I've been thinking mostly overthinking about well everything.
My friends and Mum don't really understand what I'm feeling. To be honest I don't think I understand.
Mum is really trying to make me feel better but I'm just not in the mood.
I don't really have a point to this post, just wanted to not feel so alone
V x
V only just read your previous post, transporter1 is correct you are not alone.
The problem as T1 says is right too the problem for your mum and friend is that they haven't been through it so therefore can't understand, (I thought that with my own family), but what you do know is that they still love you and want the best for you.
Take care and hopefully the positive V will be here again very soon.
Thank you x
l think you are very much loved on here. I have not been posting on here very long as AF is my usual hub, but it has been a pleasure to have met you. We all get days when we feel hopeless and things look dark. Antidepressants can make you feel depressed and l would think yours were probably strong. Hang on in there. It will pass. You will get stronger every day and this horrible time will pass. At the beginning of my problems l thought my life was over, but l couldn’t have been more wrong. It just takes a bit of time to adjust to changes in your life and then you will be ok. Don’t let this define who you are. Keep strong. Xxxx
Thank you Cavalierrubie
It's just horrible being so young and having these issues, I want to be working, running and eating whatever I like. I know I will eventually but it's frustrating
V x
You are in my thoughts and prayers xx
Hi Valentina you can express anytime whatever the weather.Plenty knowledge on here.
Thanks, sometimes I think I post too much but I know you all understand me.
V. No you don't.
I feel like it sometimes.
Hi V, it is a roller coaster that we are on. It is normal. Please be kind to yourself, take some gentle exercise and eat well, which I am sure you are doing! You are never alone with all the hearties, we are all here for each other, I hope you have a good night peaceful sleep. X
Thanks,
Mum used a similar comparison earlier, I'm on a rollercoaster and at the moment I'm in dip, but soon I'll be on the up again.
I've had some herbal tea and I'm listening to classical music as well as doing my breathing, so hope I'll get some sleep tonight.
Thank you x
Hey V
That’s the beauty and struggle of being human I’m afraid but it’s to have a down day, even when you can’t put your finger on the why.
All too often people think they have to snap out of it or paint on a smile but you don’t. You’re allowed to feel however you feel - be kind to yourself and just allow yourself to be!
Yes, by all means be mindful of not allowing yourself to be dragged into a spiral but one or two days of feeling low (especially with everything that you’ve been through and not just in the last 3 weeks). If you need to have a cry, allow it; sometimes I find it quite cathartic if truth be told!
Today maybe your thing to be grateful for is being human 🤗 ain’t nothing wrong with that 😉
You’re definitely not alone and you’re always welcome to share 😁💛
Hope you get a more restful nights sleep tonight, keep us posted with how you’re doing.
Soap x
Hey Soap
I've gotten dressed today and eaten loads of healthy food as well as some more chocolate.
I am having a little cry, but it's not helping.
Herbal tea, breathing exercises and classical music to relax me so hopefully a peaceful sleep
V x
Arrh thanks for the reply Valentina.At your service anytime to vent,feel free.take care lovely.
Bless you lovely, you've been through so much. Have you had any counselling? If not then I'd definitely recommend it.My Clinical Psych appointments carried on for 6 months after my surgery. I'd expected them to stop as soon as I'd had the ops but she said that I was suffering from PTSD, which isn't unusual when we have been through something so huge.
Maybe contact your GP and let them know that you need some support.
Sending you love
Joanne
😘
Hey Joanne
I've had therapy in the past, just not for this yet as I've not been home long. I might try and contact the doctors tomorrow
V x
Yes do. My CP said that reliving what you've been through is the brains way of processing things. Like a filing cabinet with everything out of order and only when everything is back in its right place in your mind do the flashbacks and nightmares stop.She explained it better though 😂
That's exactly it.
Every time my heart beats too fast or I get ingestion (From eating too much Easter eggs) I'm panicking thinking am I about to have another one, I don't know if I could cope. It's so scary. I know my dream was a mix of flash backs and worry. It doesn't make it any easier.
I'll definitely be back to Snowdonia one day, not sure about beating you at a parkrun my best time was 44:55 before my first HA.
V x
Love and best wishes. We all have bad days, but hopefully there are good ones too. Enjoy whatever you can achieve every day.
Thank you x
Hello 
I could be your Mum but we know you have the best Mum I am on about age and I still even having had Bypasses panic every day with every feeling I feel if it is near the heart area
I have been left with PTSD from my pneumonia and I do cry every single day
Here you are a clever young lady because yes to me you are young and no it is not fair this has happened to you and as for posting a lot I am amazed you have handled things as well as you have done really amazed and if posting helps get on here and post !
So much will be going round in your head , your emotions will be all over the place I really feel for you especially been so young and I think if I were you as there is so much more like Counselling now I would try and nip it in the bud as we say and talk with your Doctor and get referred I hope you will do this you have nothing to lose but everything to gain
Mum and friends they try to support my Husband tries to support me but it must be hard because they have not experienced and gone through what we have but you know you have people on here and we will listen and we do know how this feels but I know you are strong deep down you have age on your side and you are going to get back to doing things you enjoyed it is such early days yet you are getting over a heart attack and pneumonia you need to go through all these ups and downs but you will come through it even stronger x
Hi V,
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way; however, I can definitely sympathise with you. 1.5 years later after having my NSTEMI, I still have PTSD from it. It never really goes away, and that is okay. You’ve had some life changing experiences at such a young age, so please don’t be too hard on yourself. Some low/bad days here and there are expected and you’re allowed to have them.
I would make a bucket list of things that you want to do if you haven’t already. It gives you something to look forward to and definitely motivates you during your recovery process.
Thinking of you.
Tos x
Sending you a big soothing hug V. xxx
I had a number of nights of very vivid dreams after diagnosis of afib and I felt / realised I was going down the same road as my brother had done. I blamed it on the medication as I read it as one of the side effects, but the cardio nurse said it was more likely to be part of coming to terms with my situation. I think she was probably right as they became less frequent and it's now several months since they have occurred.Had two granddaughters here today and our cocker spaniel to boost my mood. Even the difficult days have their good moments.
You're never alone V, we're all here to listen and support, through all the ups and downs.
Sending hugs and warm wishes xxx
Sending lots of love and thinking of you so much. Life can be so unfair sometimes try and enjoy your calming music and I hope calmer nights sleep come soon. I had open heart surgery at 33 so not as young as you but I did find the night times so tough and family do mean well but that can also bring lots of problems too (only because they love you) but I agree it’s feels like they don’t understand. Take care Andrea
You have been having such a tough time, it's not surprising you'll have days where you struggle. But that's ok! Be kind to yourself, do whatever helps you on a tough day and know that tomorrow is a different day. When I struggled, I used to get very down. I started to draw a sad face in my diary to note it. The positive was I could see that the sad days became less often as I recovered.
Remember we are here for support and reach out in the good and bad days. Sending a huge hug 🤗
Hi V,
Even now after my years anniversary, I still have "those " moments when my brain helps me re-live my HA, in surprising clarity (unfortunately)......but I'm learning to live with it & it's learning to live with m! You'll find 'your' way, we all do, and you will prevail, that's what makes us survivors and not victims!
Stick with it, whether it's a good day or not, the good uns will will trump the others and 'you' will emerge, and all will be better for it 😜
oh my Valantine98 you are not on your own I feel like this a lot since I had my BP and it’s been over a year now, some days I could still cry, you are not on your own you have all of us to listen and speak to if ever you need to,
It’s hard for someone who hasn’t been through this to fully understand what you are feeling, here if you need a chat anytime x
This is helpful to me! I am just over 4 weeks since my 3 stents. My resring rate use to be 70s.. and I was gym and cycling... but now resting 60 dropping to 50s at times. This worried me.. yet on paper I look superfit now! I presume it is a mix of my heart being fit.. now the blood flow is perfect.. it doesn't have to work so hard? Walks are getting longer and faster... but not going above 100bpm!?Takes some getting use to. Worry after worry!
Despite loved ones around... they just don't get what's going on in our heads. I'm 51... and people keep saying.. but you're too young to have a HA... or.. you'll soon bounce back being young!Those comments I find difficult... so being much younger... I guess these will come your way? I wish you well and thinking of you.
Hey
Yeah, I'm the same with those young comments, I want to say I'm 24 I shouldn't have had a HA in the first place. I know age doesn't matter.
V x
totally normal reaction I’d say! Believe me you aren’t alone! It’s a reaction that will come and go in my experience. Hang in there!
Dear You
Welcome to the world of the human with all its good bits and bad bits.
You have handled yourself magnificently during your illness and now its time to be a bit kind to yourself because you deserve it { as we all do }
What comes though your posts a lot is your push for the physical wellbeing of your body and very rarely { other than bad thoughts } your mental needs.
When you stopped working did you find the mental pressure of being a teacher helped you through your physical pains ? and now you have time for your mind to be filled with { nothing wrong with it } just your heart happenings, that you are out of balance?
I had to take early retirement because I physically could not work to the standard that I wanted to.
It took a massive toll on my mental health and I became as busy as I could be mentally { writing etc } to try and balance that huge void that work took away.
Try if possible to get that brilliant mind of yours focused onto something else, if not { and your not squeamish etc } find out everything about what has happened to you, your drugs, your operation etc etc.
Without a doubt I could perform open heart surgery now !
Only joking and hoping a smile creeps across your face.
Take care.
Hey
I don't think I could look into the surgery, and what I'm taking. I'm a bit squeamish but I'd rather not know exactly what they did.
I'm trying to remember how much I hate this time of year at school with all the exam stress, I get just as stressed as the kids. So it's a good thing I'm not there, but then I realised how much I miss work and the students.
I've had therapy in the past, and I'm on anti depressants for stuff before my HA.
I want to talk to someone who truly understands but I don't know anyone and because of my age it's a lot harder
V x
Yes it is as most of us are a lot older { but not wiser } than you, have you looked at Steps To Wellbeing? it has a self referral form on line, they deal with all sorts of mental problems.
Take care V this is a hiccup that will soon pass if you keep addressing it like you are
x
You are going through such a lot, especially when you're so young. With heart issues and a stressful job added on. Be kind to yourself - including accepting those dips in mood as totally normal. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel low at the moment.
Take care xx
You are not alone - we are all here for you, and to listen. It's not easy for others to know how we feel inside.
My oldest son used to say, when in his teens, (he is now 53), life is a bummer. It sums up in a very basic way for me, aĺl the negative things in life, the things that make life too difficult to manage. But somehow life always goes on. You are so young to be having all these difficulties, life is so unfair. Maybe a chat with a Dr or nurse might help to move things on for you. You have every right to complain, sending you lots of love and hope......xx
Yes the dark moments do occur and the fact that they are often irrational and unfounded makes them difficult to cope with !
I was not good at coping with them but found being out in the open air preferably in a park or country area helped me. - and exercising gently within my ability.
I am at the opposite end of the age range to you but surprisingly your ‘journey’ is much the same !
Enjoy the improving weather and the well intentioned support. Keep smiling.
PLH
Your not alone Valentina98 it is hard for other people to understand how your feeling if they haven't experienced it. Get alot of get up get on with it....don't lay under it etc etc. Not helpful comments but its them trying to be helpful. Sorry your feeling this way hunni. 💕
Hey, fellow young person here. All of this is really shitty but just know that you have a community of people who support you!
Certainly does! Lol
I’ve struggled to get over the time when I was in hospital after my own heart problems , you’re not alone in how you feel . It takes time to process events , I had flashbacks and it’s still very fresh in my mind what happened , certain things must bring it all back as if it was yesterday and it’s been 2&1/2 yrs. Talk it over with others on here who know how scary heart events are and can relate to how you feel . One day at a time or even hour by hour .
hi. You are definitely not alone. I feel scared and sad about my condition almost every day. They tell me that I have PTSD and that it’s normal in these circumstances. I find that the only thing that works for me is distraction. I’ve started travelling again and I’m planning more adventures. Do whatever you can to fill your life with distractions and do what makes you happy. Xx
Morning.Definitely this road is better understood by those of us walking it.
We are always here to listen and send virtual hugs xx
Hey V
As everyone says; you are not alone ... you are here ... you have us all. Life is journey; and, as a journey it has its low points. The seed of hope starts growing in the abyss of despair ... remember this when you are low... there is always hope because that is where hope starts growing. Take care
Hi! You honestly and truly , really aren’t alone! 💕💕💕
I know it just feels it at the moment
Dear Valentina Of course you are down . Life has been very unfair to you hitting you with this at such a young age and you have had such trauma lately but it will get better as you recover and as for the fear you will learn to live with it and as time passes it will be easier.
How is your mother doing as a Mum myself I suspect her fear is unbearable I hope there's a forum out there where she can talk to other parents going through the same thing or a best friend who will understand . Pass on my best wishes and say my prayers and thoughts are with you both
Hey Cappachina
Mum is doing okay, she's not one to show emotions but she seems to be okay, she goes to Church a lot so she has a good social group shhe can talk to I'm sure some of those will have experience.
I've made an appointment with my GP to talk about my mental health and hopefully that will help me.
V x
Dear Valentina as a church goer myself I know how supportive they all are so pleased to hear your Mother has them and her faith to help her support you My daughter is being great with me though like you but in reverse I could scream at her sometimes but I know it's only the love I have for her been returned in spades. Hopefully your recovery will now go really smoothly
Good days bad days 
Define ‘bad days’
having a tiered day
feeling like a bad person
