Not prepared for the anxiety that follows heart surgery

[Mishy2610]

Almost 9 weeks post mitral valve repair and Aortic valve replacement. It was all quite sudden. I was hardly prepared for the valve repair but woke after 8 hours of surgery to find I had also had Aortic valve replacement! That was a lot to cope with! Now I have so much anxiety! I have always been quite laid back and not much phased me. All that has changed. So glad I have joined this forum and now realise I'm not on my own. Reading other people's journeys will help I'm sure. 5 days after major open heart surgery I/ we are sent home "fixed" it's so hard accepting and trusting this. I have had a few meltdowns had the paramedics out who were able to reassure me until I saw my GP following morning. Once again this weekend I lost it and this time taken to A&E (Acute Medical Assessment Unit) where once again after a few tests (and hours) I was reassured enough to go home. Healing pains, nerves knitting together all become something else in my head! I have never had chest pain before! I am getting a lot of nerve pain, burning, stinging too which seems to have got worse before getting better! I have my check up this Thursday it's been a long time coming. I have a list of questions for my surgeon and really hope he will give me my confidence back! Some days I think I've changed from an independent lady into a vulnerable old woman! I don't want to be that old woman, I want to live these extra years I have been given (I hope) and enjoy them. I have to keep telling myself i am less vulnerable now than i was before surgery, I just wasn't aware!

I hope others can relate to my feelings I assume we all have our good and bad days. Thanks for reading/ listening it helps to say it, I've decided i need to own the anxiety and tell anyone who will listen! Sorry if I've bored the pants off you! 😬

[Blackcatsooty]

Dear Mishy

I wonder if you could look at your situation a little bit different. Surely your new valve gives you new life. Yes the rehab goes on for two or three months, but at the end of that time you get your life back. Without the new valve we don’t survive. I have now had three years of life and expect or hope for another ten. That’s a pretty good miracle given to me by incredible medical teams.

I do sympathise with your problems, I just also want to tell you about the miracle we both received at age 72.

Best wishes

Sooty

[Mishy2610 in reply to Blackcatsooty]

I do realise all that Sooty! But some times your head tells you something different. I knew for less than 6 weeks I had a leaky valve I went downhill rapidly, went to GP who phoned an ambulance. I DO know how lucky I am and I keep reminding myself. I'm hoping for empathy not sympathy 🤣 in general I am a positive person honestly! All the best

[MummaSoap]

Hi Mishy

I haven’t been through the kind of surgery you’ve experienced but I did want to say how brave I think you are for speaking so openly about what you’re experiencing AND for acknowledging your anxiety; that’s huge so well done!

I do empathise with the feeling like an old lady before your time; some days my symptoms make me feel horrendous and can be very debilitating at times. On bad days, try to focus on what you CAN do, no matter how small. That’s what I try to do 🙂

I’m sure you will get there and you’ll be able to reclaim your life but it’s still early days; be patient with yourself and most importantly, listen to your body. If it feels too much, stop. You can always try again another time or day.

Keep us posted with your progress.

Best wishes

Soap 🧼

[Cliford37 in reply to MummaSoap]

After a very different operation all together i had lots of high and low days and i was told so many times any major surjery can place havoc with our mental health i so get what your going through xx

[francesw47]

Hi Mishy Thats a lot to deal with in one go.....and I suspect you may not yet have overcome the shock of finding you had not one but two valves 'fixed'. Well done for recognising your anxiety and naming it for what it is. But shock takes time to heal - your body has been through a real trauma and will recover, but slowly. You were probably also given a shed load of drugs both in the operating theatre and afterwards - and they take time to work through your system. So you are quite fragile at the moment, both physically and psychologically. So take the time to heal. I get it that you don't want to be that old woman. I never wanted to be the old woman who knew the pharmacist by name and carried her drugs home in a carrier bag - but there I am, chatting to the pharmacist then carrying the haul home in plastic. Without those drugs I would not be here. Have you thought about getting some support for your anxiety? CBT is the usual recommendation and is particularly good for this type of anxiety = maybe have a chat with your GP or if you go to cardiac rehab the cardiac nurses? Meanwhile, keep chatting to us - we are an understanding bunch and there is usually someone who can respond.

[devonian186]

Make sure you write the questions down in advance and take a little notebook with you and jot down other questions as the conversation develops.

[Hidden]

Dear You,

Thank you for being so brave into putting the words to feelings that a lot of us have felt as our heart journey rubbles on.

And I say felt because it does get better, time makes sure of that, its just not your time to be in that space yet.

There is help and if that involves taking more medication { in my case } then why not ? it certainly helped me get to the next step.

Also ask about the 'Steps To Wellbeing' program which is self referral and I found to be a God send.

Get that mental health ball rolling.

These words will mean very little to you as they did me to start of,

You are not alone

There is help when you are ready to receive it { now because you wouldn't have posted your message }

We are here to help as best we can, because we do know what you are going though.

Take care and please keep us informed.

[Hidden]

Hi

As others have said, your body has been through a major event and does take time to recover. Your mind is sensitive to any little niggle that occurs and having these checked, if you're unsure, is the right thing to do. I was told the same by 2 different ambulance crews that came out to me in my early recovery period.

You have to focus in on the result of those hospital visits and that is everything is OK.

You have recognised your anxiety which is great, time to beat it by keep telling yourself, every time you have a niggle or doubt sets in what your end goal is and from reading your post that is to enjoy the rest of your years.

I'm 2 1/2 years post surgery now and my journey has been up and down. I wanted to make the most of my many years left🤞and to ensure the many thousands of £'s spent on my care is used to the full. Everyday is a new start whatever I'm doing and so far, and long may it continue life is fantastic. Yes, I still get niggles and have not so good days but with a refocus these days are few and far between now.

It is still very early in your recovery and please accept that it will and does get better. Good luck to you. Have a great day today. Here, the sun is shining and wow what a difference that makes.

ATB

[Shar28]

What a shock! That takes time to get your head around and for you to get used to the idea that you had two big procedures in one. Things will settle though. Perhaps ask your GP about counselling services in your area or ask about cardiac rehab.

Best wishes to yio and your loved ones.

[Annaelizabeth]

Nearly thirty years ago I was given prosthetic mitral valve. Like you I imagined all sorts of things, until I really took on board one fact, the heart had never been fiddled with before, never been touched and certainly never man-handled. Therefore it was bound to 'feel'. Really take that on board. You will always feel some apprehension at times, it never really leaves you - I find a large gin always helps!!

[Cat04]

May I suggest joining a small, friendly, supportive Facebook group

Uk Aortic and Heart Defects Pre surgery Post Surgery

We've all been through what you have and understand completely. You can ask anything and receive first hand invaluable info and support from other patients. x

[Jedx]

Hi Mishy,

After reading your post l can see myself in your words. Take a breath, now l too was rushed into a bypass operation within three days after diagnosis talk about shock to the system or what. Then spending weeks lying on my couch and walking slowly little by little day by day. I felt like l was never going to get better. Then one day l realised it’s going to take as long as it’s going to take.

With that little sentence l was able to get through my recovery to date, l am now seven months post surgery. It’s still up and down and sometimes things happen and catch us with our pants down but we keep on keeping on. Wishing you all the best.

[gorillaqueen]

Good morning Mishy not boring at all. I’m quite pleased about your post, not because of how you are feeling but just that you have posted this as I can relate to how you are feeling. I’m approaching 6 months post triple bypass and I’m generally quite a positive person but since my surgery I feel I’m not the same and wonder if I ever will be. Like you I’m anxious and feel insecure about everything, I’m thankful and so grateful to have been given a second chance but feel I’m struggling mentally. I do hope the lovely people on this forum can provide some reassurance for you. Have you heard from your cardiac rehab team yet ? Mine have been amazing and they deal with the mental side as well as physical so I would strongly recommend you attend the course once you hear from them. This is a journey none of us expected but thanks to the amazing surgeons and medical team we are here and lived to tell the tale. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Good luck be strong 💪 I hope you feel better very soon ( early days) 😊X