Looking back

[Valentina98]

Hey Everyone

Mum says you shouldn't look back only forwards but I like to look back to see how far I've come.

A year ago I caught the dreaded virus that can't be named. It's that that started all this I was fairly ill but recovered by being in bed (oddly enough I got my first negative test Easter Sunday this Easter I was just recovering from pneumonia) Unknown to me I developed myocarditis.

I started running in the May doing couch to 5k and started regularly doing parkruns, I even signed up for a 10k in September of this year (which in still hoping to do) shortly after I signed up I had my Heart Attack, and discovered I had a small hole in the heart. A few days in hospital and a short holiday to Spain. I went back to work be it part time and I decided to volunteer at my local parkrun. Mostly just to get out on a Saturday and not mope around.

I was just getting back into my old routine and had even arranged a meeting with the headmaster and my head of department about going back full time after the Easter holidays. When I had my Cardic Arrest, and it was decided I needed a stent, after the procedure I had a thought I caught a cold which was actually pneumonia.

I've been back home (well at Mum's) for a week now.

Looking back my life has completely changed, but looking forward it's unclear what life holds for me, but I'm here with my whole life in front of me and I can't wait to see it.

Live every moment

V x

[Valentina98]

Mum thinks if you look at the past you're dwelling in it, ice tried to explain the difference but Mum well....

[Valentina98]

I like looking back. As long as I don't dwell on the past it's fine.

[uzininemm in reply to Valentina98]

Morning V, very difficult 'not looking back' when you are a history teacher😉, however the point of history I believe is to look back and learn and therefore make the future better and that's what you are doing in regards to your own life and health. It's what I do and it does seem to work.

(By the way I am quite envious of you because of your job, as if I was a teacher this is exactly what I would have done).

Take care.

[Rosie1066]

I feel for you. None of us ever know what tomorrow will bring. I had a terrible year last year too and I can’t really see.much of a future for me but I soldier on hoping better times will come.

[Valentina98 in reply to Rosie1066]

Rosie, if I can see a future for me then there is definitely a future for you as well.

Here if you need to talk

V x

[Rosie1066 in reply to Valentina98]

Thank you, it wasn’t me personally but my poor husband who spent almost all of 2022 in hospital and who sadly died at Christmas. All Heart related after an emergency operation for an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm in 2017 during which he suffered a blood clot which went straight to his brain and he suffered a stroke. He died of complications after suffering post stroke seizures and other complications.

[Valentina98 in reply to Rosie1066]

I'm so sorry Rosie ❤️ my thoughts are with you

V x

[Czech_Mate]

I spent some time on a ship and while most of the people on board spent time at the front (the pointed end) looking where we were going, I was happier sitting at the back (the blunt end) watching where we had been. For many hours I watched an albatross gliding across the waves never actually flapping its wings, and although its wings came within fractions of an inch of the water, they never touched it. An amazing experience. I came to the conclusion that I belonged there looking back rather than looking forward but I've never figured out why. I don't want to live in the past but I don't want to forget it.

Sorry I'm just an old 'un waffling on again.

[Drummer20 in reply to Czech_Mate]

I like looking back.That’s why human beings like stories and legends

I enjoy now and have hope for the future too.

[Valentina98]

Waffle away 😁

[Czech_Mate]

But as a history teacher you know the importance of learning from the past.

[MummaSoap]

You’re so strong and resilient, I have no doubt that your future will be bright and filled with many wonderful adventures 🤗

I know it’s hard to be patient sometimes and be frustrated with your body but you will get there!

Best wishes as always

Soap 🧼 x

[Hidden]

I do my best not to look at my past, personally it’ll do nothing for my present or future.

I can’t see, plan nor work out what my future looks like - it is currently dependent on the decision making of others.

I am paused in my present.

Today is all I have a little control over. Today is the strongest person I’ve ever been.

But try telling my angina that, the little 💩

[Hidden]

Dear V,

There is looking back and wishing / dwelling in and for our past.

Our past is extremely important, it is our building blocks to what and where we are now and where we hope and wish to be in the future.

All our mistakes , regrets, loss are there along with our happiness love and life, they all combines to show us a path forward, which is the only way we can go.

Letting go of some of that past experiences is something we learn, taking information and support from it is also a massive learning curve.

We are all marching forward and our pasts are a massive influence on that journey.

Visit in and out of your past as much as you like, its yours to use.

Take care X

[Valentina98 in reply to Hidden]

Hey Blue

Yes that's exactly what I feel, obviously as a history teacher I have to look to the past but we learn so much from doing so.

V x

[Cee-Cee1]

I've needed to look back to learn a few lessons as to going forward to the future. I've sat around on my behind too much (office based job), worked too hard, eaten the wrong foods, not taken enough exercise and generally not taken enough time to stop and sniff the roses! These days, just over a year after a HA & triple bypass, having addressed the above I feel (and am!) healthier, brighter, in much better humour and really looking forward to waking up refreshed and happy every morning (well, most mornings anyway 😜) and I feel much more like I did in my younger days - oh, and those roses get a damn good sniff every day too! 👍😅 Carol x

[Cat04]

What a tumultuous year you've had! I too caught you know what Easter 2022, and it threw me into hospital with atrial flutter/atrial fib. Then my annual BAV echo in August showed that my valve needed replacing due to unexpected and rapid deterioration (wouldn't say if it was due to you know what, just said it's the v***s that keeps on giving, read what you will into that one!) So in January, with only 6 months to live without the surgery, I had a valve replacement, atrial clip and ablation by OHS.

Yes I look back to see how far I've come and also can now look forward to what is to come.

Be thankful V for each & every day x

[Digger0]

I used to run 12 week coursed for chronic fatigue sufferers. We got them to do diaries and I always got them to look back and see how far they had come. Our work actually got published!

[Rosie1066]

Thank you.

[Classof1988]

Valentina, a wonderful post and a positive attitude. You have your life ahead of you, and having a positive attitude is a major step on the road to achievement. Looking back to learn from past experiences and to recognise potential problems ahead of them coming into being is part of wisdom which you build up over time. One thing that isn't taught in school (maybe you can be an innovator here) is the history of the apparently irrelevant or trivial events that lead up to something much bigger years later, the what ifs that plot your course. Sometimes we go through pain but years later realise that if you hadn't gone through it you wouldn't have learnt something helpful, it certainly doesn't feel positive at the time. For example who knows how significant your meeting someone in hospital may be for you or them in years to come. How many on this site may be inspired and given new hope from your testimony and positive attitude? I have had several experiences of split second timing meetings that I personally believe is the hand of God at work in my life. Live your life, enjoy it, be assured that God has promised not to give you more than you can bear!