I’m not sure where to start. My husband (62) was admitting to hospital 3 weeks ago with pneumonia and breathing problems. He has a routine heart ultrasound which showed severe heart malfunction. Last week he had an angiogram which we were told would diagnose the exact problem and probably would need a stent or 2 to fix. He came back from the angio and was told the damage is severe and he needs a quadruple bypass.
I am absolutely terrified. The wait time is 3 weeks and he cannot come home whilst he waits.
I just don’t know how to cope. I’m scared to google what it means, I’m trying to be upbeat for him but inside I feel like my insides have been torn out.
He is older than me by 18 years and I am so so scared I am going to lose him. He is the love of my life, my souls mate.
I guess what I’m asking is has anyone been through this and can advise me what to expect?
Thank you for reading x
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SJX130
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You're doing the right thing by not googling... most of the information out there is either so high level, out of date, or focusing on different things that it is rarely specific to our individual circumstances.
Partners I think worry more sometimes, it's just natural. I haven't had a bypass, but my grandad had one in his early 60s more than 20 years ago and he got to 81 before he passed.
Sad to say I guess, but to the healthcare team that perform these amazing procedures, it's their day job, it's almost routine for them.
I'm sure others will be along to share their experiences soon... this forum provides great support for partners as well as patients (before, during and after diagnosis and treatment) so do feel free to ask questions or vent if you need to.
Please please please do not look at Dr Google. By all means use this BHF site or the NHS site, but don’t Facebook, Google etc etc.
This forum is to offer fellow hearties support. Whereas Dr Google etc is geared to make an instant impression.
Cardiac wards are very very good. I had OHS (open heart surgery) three years ago and the care was fabulous. My recovery at home took a few months (I am 75so I don’t heal too quickly) but improvement could be felt every couple of days and then I got my life back.
My wife was anxious beyond words. And covid was raging so she couldn’t visit. Our lovely cat looked to her for the attention that I would lavish on him.. in fact things were worse for her than me.
I did not have health issues immediately before hand, so your hubby needs the three weeks to put these issues eg the pneumonia, right before the heart ops. ??
Please keep calm and have faith in our NHS.
Best wishes
Sooty
Really sad to hear this but yes many people have been through and are going through this. It must be really hard. I know its tough but try and stay and think positive. Really give praying a good go, talk to whoever you can spiritually and ask for some help. Its awful being in hospital and waiting for answers and operations but he is in the right place and hopefully all goes well. It really is pointless googling anything. Best thing is to get together with family and support each other. Any questions to call maybe heart foundation or the nurses on the ward
Hello
I was 57 when I had my first heart attack and it was a year after I had been in ICU with pneumonia I then had 2 more heart attacks had an angiogram eventually and was told I needed a triple Bypass even though they were thinking stents but till we have that angiogram they can never be to sure
I wasn't shocked though as heart attacks run in my family and my Dad had a quadruple Bypass which served him well for well over 30 years
They will keep him in Hospital as not only has he had pneumonia but they know he needs to be closely monitored till he has his Bypasses done
Please don't look on Google it tells the worst scenario only and not all the positives and there are so many to having this operation done like giving you both a lot more years to spend together
I am the worst person to get anxious and I imagined the operation was going to be something that I would never cope with and yet it was not anything like I had blown it up to be
Once you are in intensive care they have you are plenty of strong drugs and to be honest I didn't even know where I was you have some tubes coming out of you but they do not bother you and over a few days they remove them , if you visit him in ICU there will be machines bleeping can all look a bit overwhelming for visitors but they are just monitoring everything that is all
As soon as he is well enough he will be moved onto a ward again and recovery starts
Yes you are breathless a little and where the scar is can be uncomfortable but they soon have you moving about and it is amazing how quick they have you back on your feet
Then it is recovery slowly building yourself back up but as he goes through each stage keep posting and we will try and help explain more as he is recovering
Have faith in these Surgeons they know what they are doing and he is in safe hands and he is been taken real good care of and while you are waiting for him to be home with you soon you need to take care of you to so you can be there for him when he needs you the most
Please keep us updated how things are and come and talk with us whenever you want to x
Our stories are similar. I was 61 when I had an angiogram, fully expecting a few meds or perhaps a stent. Instead I was kept in the hospital and a few weeks later had a triple bypass. My wife is also quite a bit younger than me, and she was left at home, alone and shocked by the dizzying speed of events.
I won't pretend that open heart surgery is a trivial matter, it's a serious operation that is not without risks. However, by far the biggest risk factor is age, and as the average open heart surgery patient is 68 the reality is that the odds are very much in your husband's favour.
But instead of focussing exclusively on the operation itself you should also think about what comes after.
The reality is that open heart surgery doesn't actually cure us, unfortunately we'll have our heart disease for life. But bypass surgery can buy us time, a second chance for medication and life style changes to slow the future progress of our heart disease to an absolute crawl.
I used the motivation of surgery to stage a complete overhaul of my life style. Losing weight, exercising seriously and often, eating healthily, and quitting the nicotine tablets I'd become addicted to after stopping cigarettes. As a consequence I now feel twenty years younger. Fitter and stronger than I've been for years. My wife and I love dancing, and now we'll often be the last couple on the floor. And thanks to bypass surgery it's salsa and jive, just as much as foxtrot and waltz!
But a lot really does depend on those first twelve weeks after discharge from hospital, basically that's when your husband will complete a Cardio Rehab course and decide if he (with your support) will turn over a new leaf or if it's back to business as usual.
Here are some leaflets that hospitals give to patients following open heart surgery, these might help you better prepare for getting your husband home, helping him convalesce, and then supporting him while he re-builds himself into something much better than before he went into hospital!
With a bit of luck (and a lot of application) your husband can look back on open heart surgery as a transformative experience, something that gave him more energy and zest for life than he could ever have believed possible.
Yep, I was terrified too about 18 months ago. You just have to put your trust in the surgical team to do their job. The worst bit is waiting for the op. Then it just takes time to get over it and heal.
It’s easier said than done but try not to worry, he’s in the best place and if it becomes so urgent they will probably bring op forward, I had a triple bypass 12 years ago
My introduction to the world of heart issues was when I had a heart attack. The immediate problem was solved with a couple of stents and I was then referred for further treatment. The surgeon offered me further stents or a triple bypass, Discussing these two options, it was made clear that the bypass route provided the best solution in the long term as I would require less intervention. I chose to go with the bypass and I would say that I have never regretted it. I now do bigger and better things.... for me, I'm off to Scotland tomorrow to climb a couple of Munros and I'm 71 years of age.
As has been said, the waiting is the worst part. I had to wait 11 months as I was not an urgent case. It was more wearing on my wife than it was on me, so be mindful of your own situation and try to remain as calm as you can be. The operation is routine and is carried out by highly skilled professionals, so try not to worry.
My husband had a quintuple bypass at the same age - came totally out of the blue and had no idea he had heart trouble. We only had to wait a week so I didn’t have so much time to dwell on it, but remember not getting much sleep. Don’t read stuff on the internet - only what the hospital gives you. Even that can sound daunting. What helped me was that I had total faith in the hospital. It is a major operation but to the surgeons it is routine. When he came home I was very nervous - bit like bringing home my first newborn and not knowing what was normal and what wasn’t. Follow all the post op advice (coughing exercises are important but I know the patient doesn’t like doing them) and you and your husband will get through it one day at a time and then it is not so daunting. My husband missed out on the cardiac rehab as we lived abroad in a remote area at the time, but I know that would have been hugely beneficial. Good luck to you both x
8 weeks ago my husband went for angiogram & stents, they stopped the procedure & scheduled a triple bypass for the following week. I was in absolute bits, so I know what you’re going through. We have young children too - losing him was simply not an option!!
The 3-week wait is going to be tough mentally as well as physically. If your husband can keep active in this time, that will help. My hubs walked 10k steps every day round the hospital to keep him from wallowing!!
So now, 7 weeks on, he’s as fit as a flea. Like a new man, or rather the old one back to his usual self ❤️
Hubby’s advice is to follow the team’s advice - they do this every day & they really know what they’re doing. He’s had a text book recovery so far, but it’s vital to do as he’s told; one day he may feel ahead of the curve, the next well behind, but it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Hi I went through pretty much exactly the same in Jan 22. I had no issues at all, suddenly I found it hard to breathe and I had an angiogram from which they made me stay in hospital attached to a monitor 24x7.I had to wait three weeks for an operation. Very stressful for everyone but I was in the best place to be safe.
Had the operation, recovery went well and I now feel as fit as when I was 30 years old!! I would suggest not googling things or even reading the booklet they will give your partner. Read it afterwards to understand the recovery piece otherwise it's unecessary stress.
4 years ago aged 51, I went through exactly the same- expecting to possibly need a stent (brother had one in his late 30’s)- to be told you’re not going home until you’ve had a quad bypass. Such a shock- I’d been running the day before! I think it is harder on spouses as the patient is in this medical bubble of being looked after whereas you are sitting worrying. It’s a very straight forward procedure for most nowadays - I remember the surgeon saying he does one most days! It’s when he is home your hubby will need you- as it’s a steady but slow day to day recovery. My physical recovery was quicker than my mental one- think that’s the shock of why did that happen! But there is lots of life after- within a few months I could pretty much do everything I could before but knowing my heart is in a better place than had it not been discovered. My hubby was amazing - still is- so stay strong - you will get through this & he really is in the best hands.
I unexpectedly had a quad by pass nearly a year ago.
Don't be tempted to get him home as an out patient as out of sight out of mind. He needs to stay in hospital. As others say, at 62 the odds are very much on his side. I was astonished by the number of very overweight people in their 60's and later coming in for a second operation 10 years after their first so they hadnt learnt their lesson.
It is coming out that I found the worst, especially the first 8 weeks. You both need to prepare for this as the surgery itself will be carried out by people at the top of their game to whom this is routine.
So plan beyond the next 3 weeks and in the meantime ensure your husband has everything needed to stave of boredom. from snacks to a radio, books to a tablet and familiar things that will give him comfort. most of all he will want YOU!
I had a quadruple about 12years ago. In my case it fixed the immediate problems. The surgical team will work their magic and you will both be on the other side of this before you know it.
Hi!They wanted me to stay in hospital before my quad bypass (ended up being triple)last September but they said it would be better for my mental health to let me home. My angio showed my case was 'critical and severe'. The waiting list was 5 months to get to Glenfield for surgery, however I asked to go on the cancellation list and got surgery within a few weeks. I was suffering from unstable angina by then.
I am 56 and although carry a little extra weight always thought I was fairly fit. Coronary Artery Disease is in my family history in the last two generations on both sides as well as diabetes. I guess nobody knew what illnesses they had previous to that. I didn't start much chance really.
Anyway, I can honestly say the actual surgery wasn't as bad as I expected. It was far worse for my husband watching and waiting. He said he'd never been so scared in his life. Afterwards is a hard and slow progress (I had complications but I won't go into that now). Make sure your husband gets up and at it soon after surgery and asks for physio if he isn't offered any at the hospital. It's important to work the lungs and get the blood moving round.
You are bound to be anxious but remember this surgery is done all day everyday at thousands of hospitals around the world. I think I'm right in saying the success rate is over 98%.
I had a sudden and unexpected quadruple bypass in September 2021. I too had an angiogram expecting a stent or two due to stable angina symptoms whilst training in the gym .
Firstly , the operation is essential and life saving and your husband has to have it done by the sounds of it . The alternative is not an option .
The first few weeks post procedure are tough and he will need your support to help him shower and nurse him but equally important is the mental and emotional support you give . My outlook was and remains , that I was lucky enough to have a warning and a diagnosis and a solution . I am fortunate to be alive and embrace life as a blessing and make the most of it .
18 months on I am in the gym several times a week , playing regular golf , working full time , travelling overseas . I have the scars from the procedure but they are also a reminder that I am very lucky.
Please ensure that your husband follows all the exercise and diet advice given by the specialist team and attends rehab classes . It will make full recovery much easier to attain .
Sadly it’s a far more common routine these days and the advances in techniques, recovery and healing are immense.
I am sure he will be fine , recover fully and make your partnership even stronger .
Thank you all so much for your kind replies. They have certainly eased my mind some. My husband is a fit, slim, active non smoker tho there is history or heart problems in the male side of his family and he has been in a very stressful job for 20 years. He sees this as a warning and second chance and is positive most of the time. As you have all said it is the waiting for the op that is difficult.
I wondered does anyone know if it is best to wait at the hospital whilst he has the procedure? The hospital is 30 minutes from my home and I am not sure what to do. My family want me to be with them at home so they can take care of my children and i but I would like to be near my husband….
Thank you again so much for the replies. It means so much to not feel so alone in dealing with this x
Good morning SJX130, I was in a similar position to you just over 18 years ago. Husband at 62 , slim, fit and non smoker but with family history of heart attacks in their early 60’s. No symptoms but he asked for a check up and ended up kept in hospital after his angiogram. He was there for 3 weeks ( over Christmas ) and then transferred in the New Year to Guys for his triple bypass.
I was lucky that my work were understanding, I worked through the period he was local and visited him whenever I could. We both felt he was in the safest place pre surgery. I arranged to take leave when he had his surgery and after his discharge home. I chose to be there at the hospital, travelling up the night before. They gave me a room overnight and I was with him when he was wheeled down to theatre next morning. Sharing that time together , the night before and in the morning meant a lot to us. I then had a lot of hours to get through before I was told he was out of theatre and the op done successfully. I walked for miles around London, and that is the most difficult bit I think, waiting for that phone call and then being told finally you can go to see your husband. I couldn’t sit or eat during that time. You will need to think how you manage those difficult hours if you stay at the hospital.
I had a week off work when my husband came home, to help and support him, although he was quickly able to do much more than we thought considering his OHS. He had a very positive outlook, built up his exercise as recommended and went to Cardiac rehab. We got back to doing all we had done before so hopefully you will experience the same with your husband. As others have said, it’s routine surgery nowadays, do let us know how things go . Rosie x
In answer to what you have just asked I think having people around you as you need support to is really important if you left that support to be closer you could struggle more with how you feel plus it would leave you Children not seeing you as well
You will still only be able to visit your Husband at visiting times which I presume you are doing already and the rest of the time you would be on your own
But he is in safe hands where he is been cared for and unless there was any deterioration I would stay where you are but of course this is your choice and I know you will make the right one for you and your family x
My Mum had a quadruple bypass following a heart attack at the age of 58. That was over 30 years ago she is now 91 and still going strong she is my inspiration as 7 weeks ago at the age of 58 I’ve just had a triple. Im seeing a multitude of consultants about various issues and A consultant at the hospital who is dealing with my cholesterol said to me see everything as a make over and in 6-12 months it will feel like I’ve had a makeover and be a new women. There is life after heart failure and bypass.
Hi just to let you know I had a quadruple bypass just over a year ago and I am getting healthier by the day still having to take six different pills at different times but . I was one of the lucky ones having had my heart attack virtually straight into surgery I can only imagine what you are going through but rest assured they are brilliant surgeons and they would do everything they can to get your husband back to fort health I know you can't help worrying but please rest assured everything will be okay. Michael
Avoid Google doctor like the plague! My cousin had a quadruple bypass last July and is fine, so try not to worry. Also as he is already in hospital he may get a cancellation and be done earlier. Hugs
Hi SJX130, I know just how you must be feeling. When my husband had a heart attack, his blockages were not in a good place for stents so he had to have a quadruple bypass. I felt as you do, absolutely terrified. I don't think there is anything that would make you less worried. However, I hope it comforts you somewhat that his surgery was back in 2000, and he is still going OK. xx
The hospital should give you leaflets that explain in a non scary way about what to expect. I found those very helpful when I was in your situation almost 2 years ago now.
I tried to be very proactive in organising the house for when he came home. I found that helped me feel as if I was doing something positive while he waited in hospital for almost 4 weeks for his bypass.
I bought a good few aids…such as a shower stool, a foot stool, a boomerang shaped pillow. …
I also visited every day taking in nice things to eat as his appetite was poor.
After he came home we had the district nurses in everyday for a couple of weeks as a tiny part of his wound was a bit iffy…but the recovery went well.
I won’t tell you not to worry because of course you will, but try and look after you at this time as you are going to be a busy person when your hubby comes home.
My partner had a triple bypass 3 years ago now, so I understand how you are feeling.
I have to admit i googled for hours as I wanted to know what to expect, but that’s just me - I wanted to know what would/might happen and be prepared. If you do google (and everyone’s different) I’d recommend sticking to sites such as this one, the NHS or the hospitals own guides to bypass surgery.
My partner was at home waiting for his surgery and we travelled to the hospital the afternoon before. (I stayed in a “hotel” that the hospital and a charity run for the whole time he was in hospital) and I stayed at the hospital/surrounding area the whole time he was in surgery.
I requested to see him immediately after surgery and he was still on a ventilator but he looked better then when they had wheeled him off to theatre that morning! By the next morning he was sat in a chair eating toast - I was amazed!
Please look after yourself too, this is REALLY important. Especially whilst he’s in hospital and being looked after. If you have any specific questions I am happy to answer. xx
Hello SJX130. Your husband is in good hands. I can't say don't worry as that is impossible but I've been through exactly the same as you (although originally my hubby was told he needed a triple bypass and the told by the surgeon that "I might as well sort out a bit more pipework. while I'm in there!").
It was a complete shock made worse I think by several cancellations so at least your hubby is going to get his op in the next few weeks. And - he'll be fine. This is an operation that our surgeon said he "could do blindfold with one hand tied behind my back".
Your husband will have his health and life back after the bypass. My hubby was 67 when he had his quad bypass.
I know you'll have loads more questions so just ask. Many of these lovely people on this forum have been through this and got the T shirt. Remember to look after yourself - we partners very often get forgotten!!
I was 61 when I had my triple By Pass after heart attack and angiogram finding I had 90% artery blockages. Believe me after operation your husband will be feeling so much better, he will be amazed at how ill he was feeling before and coping with it. It is a major op and healing takes time in months not days. But he will feel so much better. We are here to support you during his healing as well as him as he will get frustrated with the process sometimes but, we here to listen and support the both of you. Take care SJX130 be concerned of course but don’t be frightened.
I had a quadruple bypass last December which I was not expecting. The risk to life, I was told, is not particularly high. The procedure itself, however, is quite complex and stressful. Obviously the quality of the surgeon and the team matters a lot. If you have a choice Royal Papworth is regarded as the best in the country. Recovery time depends a lot on how the procedure goes. I had my procedure on the 9th December and was discharged on the 13th. Expect lots of rehab exercises post procedure and diet is very important. The advice is to get out of bed as soon as possible after the procedure. If you have any specific questions I’ll do my best to answer them.
Hi, it's a shock I know but the way to look at it is it's been found out in time and can be treated. Whilst it's classed as major surgery, nowadays it's fairly routine for the guys & girls doing it (day in day out).
What to expect is a nervy day/few days for you whilst operation is being carried out, 1-2 days of ICU for him followed by 1-2 days in high dependency unit and then onto a ward for a few more days before being released home. Breathing/coughing exercises given along with further guidance on some do's and don'ts over a recovery period. No lifting of any weights (max 1/2 kettle) for a few weeks and then rehab classes, all beneficial. Scars - 1 down the middle of breast bone (hence the no lifting to allow bone to graft together and another scar on most likely a leg where a section of vein is removed for use as the bypass graft. mood swings, increased medication in most cases and a change of lifestyle/diet but the biggest & best thing is an improvement on life expectancy compared to before the surgery. You'll learn to appreciate, even the smallest things in maybe a different way and look to enjoy life a bit better as it's an eye opener that we're all only here for an amount of time, so to try and make the best of what we're given.
1. Talk to each other and discuss and worries etc, try not to keep it in, as you already know that you're both worried about it, that's only to be expected.
2. ask as many questions of the hospital staff that you can think of (write questions down to ask, as sure as hell you'll forget by the time you're there in front of a consultant/surgeon/nurse)
3. look at practical things about the house for when he comes home, ease of access toilet/bed etc. clothing to wear, try and avoid anything that needs pulled over the head but more so go for anything that fully buttons or zips down the front.
4. make sure you get guidance notes before accepting any discharge from the hospital.
Personally, (i was 58yrs of age at the time) I went in for an angiogram expecting most likely a stent and my wife was planning to pick me up that afternoon once it was completed, only for her to receive a phone call asking could she come back up to the hospital as the consultant would like to speak with her, taken into a room with 2 doctors to be told I was being kept in as I needed and urgent bypass surgery.
I on the other hand having had a mild sedation whilst getting the angiogram done only to come round, still attached and being told that I needed most likely a double bypass and maybe a stent but they'd have a better idea once they were inside! (ended up as a quadruple bypass) 3 almost 4 yrs down the line I'm just glad I was caught in time as we were told that it would most likely have been a case of me hitting the ground and not getting back up if this hadn't been discovered this when I did.
Lastly (sorry didn't mean to write war & peace) best wishes for you both before and after his surgery. Take care of each other and enjoy life.
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