My husband had a heart attack on Friday and has had 2 stents placed at St Bartholomew’s hospital. He had two blocked arteries.
He has been told he is not supposed to work in 4 weeks and right now we are stressing financially.
He is in a very bad mood about everything, what happened to him, the financial difficulties…and he is lashing out on my children and I.
I feel scared, lost and useless. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.
Hello & Welcome 
So sorry your Husband had a heart attack and it is having such a bad effect on all the family
Part of him lashing out will be no doubt the worry over finances as well as the shock of what has happened to him and coming to terms with it we can feel all over the place for some while
I can totally understand the financial pressure you and your Husband feel but if you phone everyone you are due to pay or owe explain the situation they should put payments on hold till your Husband is fit enough to work again which 4 weeks seems quick to be going back to work and hope it is a light job he does
Pick up the phone and talk to those you owe is my advice and if you are struggling as now just to put food on the table you need to contact your local CAB and get advice as soon as you can
Take each day as it comes try and wait till your Husband is calm and approachable and talk to him how this is affecting you and the children to and that you will get through this but lashing out is not going to help anyone including himself
I hope his recovery goes well x
Hi ABana,
Firstly, your husband is almost certainly in shock. Bad temper and lashing out at loved ones is really common, as is anger, confusion, dismay, all common symptoms, I know because this was me 6 months ago. Behaviour aside, get hold of Citizens Advice asap, contact all creditors and banks and explain what has happened and buy yourselves some time. Level heads are needed even though you're probably feeling like the world has fallen in...one thing at a time. Make a list and tick off each one as you action it, I know it sounds simple but just writing it down helps get it out of your head.
Asking for help is never weakness it is a strength, and Citizens Advice can help.
I wish you good luck and peace of mind.
Having a heart attack and stents will make you feel vulnerable stressing about finances isn't going to help. Honestly if you can appreciate that he survived and got treatment take the advice from the Cardiac Rehab team he will be back to work and hopefully stays active and healthy. It does mess with your head and your emotional state thats why these forums are good. I was angry upset and I have lived with 9 stents for years one heart attack and this year a quadruple bypass with complications you kind of have to get on with accepting it happened and listen to advice he will get there just needs love and support. I am so sorry you are on receiving end of this it has taken me a long time not to snap at my family
I am sorry for you and your husband. You feel weird and out of sorts after stents. Like you are another planet . another world. I went back to work after 5 days, but I had a desk job. Personally I think working keeps us sane and keeps us from thinking so much about what has happened. I was careful and took lots of breaks. Can he go back part time?
He is a electrical engineer and has to inspect the work that others have done. So lots of walking and sometimes he gets frustrated and does the work himself, and that’s quite physical. Somehow I am happy he doesn’t have a sedentary job because that will help him to stay fit but right now he should avoid strenuous tasks.
Thank you for your advice. He is in better mood today and has apologised, but we have 28 days ahead of us. Fingers crossed.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband, I was in a similar situation a few months ago with mine. Anger is a very common emotion after having a heart attack and it’s difficult when you are trying to support your loved one but everything you say or do seems to annoy/anger them! It does get better over time once they come to terms with what’s happened.
In terms of time off work, your husband will need to allow himself to recover fully. If he rushes back to work before he’s ready his body won’t have healed properly and he could end up needing even more time off. Speak with his employer and see whether they offer a phased return to work. Does his employer offer sick pay? They may be able to offer extended sick pay with the circumstances which would help you financially. The British Heart Foundation website has some advice on this bhf.org.uk/informationsuppo...
I would also recommend the BHF phone line as a support for you or your husband. They have heart nurses available to speak to, you can ask all the questions you need to. I’ve used the service and come away with a lot more good advice than I was expecting! They may even have knowledge about financial benefits your husband is entitled to or support you can access.
I would try and recruit a family member or family friend to help you with contacting all the relevant people to help with your financial situation. It’s difficult enough coping with your husband being in hospital let alone trying to call all of these companies and services! I’m sure everyone in your life wants to help right now that this has happened and asking for help with practical things like calling citizens advice or even speaking with your husbands employer can take some stress off you.
Thank you very much for your helpful advice. I really appreciate it. ❤️
I would imagine your husband believed not only that he was a 'rock' but was also immortal so he will be very emotional and feel he has somehow let everyone down whilst also being scared.
It takes time to get over the emotions which may be fueled by medication.
So keep reassuring him, show love, be gentle and kind and eventually his proper nature will reassert itself.
hi there, the good news is your husband survived, so he’s joined the club. We all go through the “why me” stage too. Check the lifestyle, diet, family history. Then we change the things we can.
From what you describe it sounds like your other half doesn’t get others back to fix their mistakes or poor workmanship, that’s a lesson he has to learn in getting them back. I was in the same business and it’s frustrating and just adds to your stress levels while the people that did the poor job just carry on. Maybe people just accept he will put things right? Calling them back to fix the job is hard the first few times but gets easier and once they realise they can’t get away with poor workmanship they do a better job.
I was off for 2 months then started a phased return to work. It’s surprised me how tired I was after the first few days too.
Hopefully he’s offered the cardiac rehab classes and these are really beneficial.
Good luck to him with his recovery..
It’s not me who I worried about but the effect it has on my children. Everything is getting better and I sincerely hope he doesn’t go to that place again.
Thank you very much for your help.
Everything he is feeling now is completely normal. It’s important that he rests now while his body heals and the stents settle in. It’s frustrating for him, I can imagine, but unlike breaking a leg where it’s put in a cast for six weeks and you have no option but to not use it at all for that time, your heart (fortunately) has to keep beating on, so it’s vital that it isn’t overworked during recovery. He MUST rest.
The four weeks is only the first bit of the recovery period, though: he will probably be invited to cardiac rehab, which is usually once a week for eight weeks. I highly recommend he attends, because it gradually builds up the heart’s strength again (almost as good as new), and provides a huge shot of confidence, which I imagine is quite low for him right now.
With regards to money problems, as others have said you should probably ring CA. Worth remembering, and not many seem to know this, but we are now legally classed as being disabled, which may have its own benefits when dealing with creditors.
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