I’m sitting here working out the best way to explain this. Well—— waffle warning!!!
After my HA 12 months ago I was positive, looking at my life and felt like eventhough physically I’d had these limitations put upon me mentally I was dealing with it well.
but as I’ve said on here recently it’s been and still is a roller coaster physically and mentally. Physically I’ve improved loads from 12 months ago and still continue to improve.
mentally I’d felt I’d’got away with any downsides’
Then January I’d had a bit of depression- from nowhere, never had depression before. Don’t know why, there’s no obvious triggers except the life changes my HA and PAF have brought. My husband has some and I did recognise it in me. So determined to avoid medication for it I worked with it, battled it and it went quite quickly back into its box where at present it remains. Since then I’ve finished 12 months sick and finished work which feels like totally the right thing to do and I’m certain I’ve made the right decision. I’ve made new friends at rehab and other keep fit activities I do. Financially we’ll manage.
But anxiety has now come out of it’s box, not too bad at first then about 2 months ago I went from 0 to 100 in second’s over something that was pretty small really. It was a horrible anxiety attack, I’ve had odd bits of anxiety but nothing at all like this. I was totally catastrophising !!!!!!
Since then I can feel that anxiety feeling getting out I’ve had a few bad attacks but nothing like that first one at all but the anxiety feelings are always just there, I don’t have them back in their box yet. I’ve been working on this with a counsellor and making improvements. I’m not at all anxious about my heart but all the other stuff that goes on in life 🤷🏼♀️ I’ve still aimed at avoiding medication.
Yesterday I saw the electrophysiologist for the first time for what turns out to be none sustained ventricular tachycardia. From the damaged heart muscle from the HA . No PAF has been seen recently but that’s how that goes. Whilst the bisoprolol 7.5 I’m on from the HA side of things has been controlling most of it I’m not suitable for anti arrhythmics as my pulse is 37 at night and I’m getting some bisoprolol side effects.
anyway I told him about my anxiety and how I’m working on it, he’s recommended I go on medication for anxiety as it can affect heart health. And he feels whilst I do have this arrhythmia and PAF anxiety might also be causing some of my symptoms I agree with this but having worked hard for a while now to avoid this medication and having improved a bit, I’m disappointed and feel a bit defeated. I so wanted to avoid medication as we all know the amount we take anyway. Has anyone had this come on so far down the line from the actual heart event?
We’re going to try reducing bisoprolol to 5mg but if the arrhythmia’s become less controlled I might need a pacemaker for bradycardia so that I can have other medications for it. But that’s further down the line, in the meantime he’s hoping the anti anxiety medication will help some symptoms. I’m feeling I’ll take it— reluctantly?
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Ewloe
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I am sorry anxiety has decided to make an entrance and as someone that has suffered all my life with it I certainly know how it feels
They do say after a heart event it can take the brain a while longer to process what has happened and maybe this is what has occurred here even if you were not aware of it creeping up
I have fought medications years only because I have a med fear which is a laugh now I have to take the usual cocktail for me heart but by resisting them there is only one person that suffers and that is me
It is not a weakness and anxiety the more you fight it the more it takes control accepting it gives it less control
When you needed treatment for your heart and any you may need moving on you will accept it in whatever form it comes including medications
At the moment you need treatment for your anxiety as the mind gets unwell to and I know I have stand need to talk but the suffering I go through I would say take it or at least try it
You should never feel disappointed when you have tried something and it has not quite worked or defeated but proud you gave it a go but seems you need that little bit of extra help
You may not have to be on them forever but who knows they might make you feel that good you might want to stay on them but maybe just accepting for now this is what I need to be taking
You have done really and I hope you will give it some thought as I would hate someone to suffer like me all because I have a fear of meds I can assure you it is not worth it
I love reading your posts. After reading the thread from Ewloe I have tears running down my cheeks. I hate the mental health side of all this. Some days iam good some days iam bad. The issue is we have all had a shock and when it comes to the heart it really hits home. I don't know how to keep the old stiff upper lip. But it is hard. I have counselling and hypnotherapy. From my personal problem as it is a congenital issue. Then I have had it all my life and I try to think at present I have not been blue lighted any where. I have some good feed back from 24hr ecg,., and my stress test did show that I have cyanosis due to the right hand side not working as it should. But I managed 7 minutes on bike and only stopped because my leg muscles started to hurt, because the bike test get harder and harder to peddle. My heart rate went to 92 % maximum. With no issues. I had an mri 2 weeks ago and it went well, but I suppose my biggest mental issue is iam waiting for feedback. But my specialist was there watching and she said the only issue is the epsteins. Which we know about, did not say anything else, but she will need to go through all the data. To come up with an action plan. But it is the waiting that is the hardest bit. Iam trying to keep busy and keep going doing normal every day stuff, which is what basically everyone says do. But boy it is hard really really hard. But it does put life into perspective.
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Hello
I am not sure if we have spoken before but nice to see your reply and get to talk to you now
Someone once told me to Bank the good days and when the bad days come along get the memories of the good days out knowing there are more of those to come which made sense to me
It sounds like you are doing really well and I know that waiting always is the worse I do not cope with it either but from what you say I think it will be ok and hope you will let us know when you get the results
When we have a heart condition things seem to focus on the physical side but I think more are getting to be aware of the Mental side and how it can affect us to and they both need treating
Don't hold back how you feel keep working through it and talking and you will soon have more good days in that bank that you could ever imagine you would x
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That's a bit like how hypnotherapy works you go back to a happy time and replace the bad with the happy time. Kind of works. But there is no switch or magic pill. The mental effort has to done by yourself. I think the journey iam on , definitely has its highs and lows. The specialist did repeat that I have no heart failure. Which she also saw from the echo which was done back in February. But that was done at A and E. So I have to cling on to the positives. My lungs are in good order. So we are currently on lisinopril and spironolactone. To reduce blood pressure and any possible water retention especially around heart and lung to get maximum use out of lungs for gas transfer to the blood. Basically to make what I have a bit more efficient. Trouble is to repair epsteins currently requires open heart surgery. That's the elephant in the room. The trouble is the tricuspid valve has always been known as the forgotten valve. That thinking is now changing around the world. But it is all a bit scary. But it has been so nice to write to you and get it off my chest. I will keep you and others posted. As I said I had my mri and they let me out. So that's a good start.
• in reply to
Hello
I know how difficult it can be but your reply has so many positives yes there seems to be an elephant lurking in the room but let's send that away for now and hold on to all those positives instead
Glad getting it of your chest has helped talking can really help and a listening ear x
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Thank you for being there, and listening. The nurses at British heart foundation have also been helpful. It was funny because I wanted to ask about the gas transfer possible improvements using spironolactone. And when I explained why and my ailment she said I have spoken to you before. I said yes you have. The old guy with epsteins. Well not that old.
• in reply to
Hello
I think it is important to listen and anytime you need to talk you just speak out
How nice the Nurse remembered you that made me smile x
You are doing so much that’s right. Keeping medication to a minimum is sensible. I too would resist medication for anxiety but if it proves to be essential then set a specific time scale, say eight weeks. Then stop or at least review that medication. Let’s hope a little care will push the anxiety away.
The pandemic, now mega inflation and Russia and China. World food shortages. Plenty of anxiety and depression if you are otherwise totally well !
A little suggestion…..it’s a heart attack, it’s not my heart attack. You didn’t want it, you have done so much to fight against it so maybe refer to it as a heart attack not mine.
Do have a review that you are eating sensibly, that you are sleeping properly and you taking routine daily exercise. This heatwave does not help but it will pass, even down here in rural Essex.
Your post has reassured me that there are a number on this forum who are positive and helpful.
Thank you Blackcatsooty, it was put to me that to help avoid more aggressive antiarythmics or keeping my bisoprolol on the higher dose it’s worth trying the ant anxiety medication so the anxiety doesn’t aggravate the arrhythmia. As the bisoprolol could be causing some of the fatigue, dizziness and breathlessness ( I have been thinking that it’s causing problem’s anyway), I’m thinking I’ll try it but I’m waiting to see as it could take 4/6 weeks for the hospital letter to get to the GP and them to prescribe it so it gives me some thinking time
Bisoprolol can cause depression and anxiety in some people but you can not give that up. I take anti anxiety medication and it does stop anxiety and heart palpitations for me. Personally I can see no problems in taking medication for anxiety as a life time sufferer it has helped me greatly. Some of the advice here about giving yourself a time window for taking this medication is really very bad advice as you will know yourself when you can stop. If I get a bout of anxiety I get lots of palpitations and ectopics so I look at the meds as just another heart med. No bad side effects either only positive.
Hello Ewloe, you have worked so hard not to have meds for anxiety, from a personal perspective I too did not want to take them but in the end the anxiety became all consuming. In the end I was given some meds, and if only for the fact that it enables me to sleep a bit better at night I am so glad I take them. Sometimes we do need help and there is no problem in accepting it. Take good care, Judi
Hi there, always difficult to get on with life, every turn, you are always reminded about your heart. As much as you try, your body works against you. So depression and anxiety can creep up and take over, I'm also trying to avoid antidepressants, I had been on them for many years. Allow yourself time off, find a happy place, even if it's in your mind. There are medications that don't help, not saying this is Bisoprolol but there are other beta blockers, reason is not everyone the same. I was on Metopolol for years, recently got swapped for Bisoprolol, trying to convince gp to change it back. It's hard as cardiologist made the change and difficult to see him. I do hope you find an answer, anxiety attacks are very difficult. Take care. Moni
HelloSorry to hear you are having a few issues. I was in a similar position reached about 10 months after heart bypass and NSTEMI . I am on meds for anxiety and have been for 16 years, my doctor told me they would be for life as they also help with keeping blood pressure down.
At about 10 months post op I started to feel insure and doubt myself. I started thinking about what I had been through. Up until then I had concentrated on everything I had been told to do by cardiac rehab team and was proud of reaching the targets. At a similar time I started having medication issues and think the disappointment of what I felt was going backwards dragged me down. Now with added medication after more tests I am on the climb back.
Please be kind to yourself and take each day as a fresh start. I think ours bodies go through a lot of trauma and it protects us in the best way possible by shutting out the anxiety and when we are physically improved the we have the time to think of things past.
Take each day as it comes and know others of us have been through very similar paths and you will come out it with or without pills.
I kind of promised myself I would not post on this forum again. However I feel I must say that this situation, post HA, is common to the point of normality. I am post HA 20 years. It’s birthday is 7th August. I feel like I have been there, done that, got umpteen T-shirts. Everyone has made good comments. However I would highlight two more scenarios which do not seem to have been covered fully (in my experience). Just because this has happened and remember it is a MAJOR shock to the body and the mind (as already mentioned) it really does take time to sort it all out. At first we are totally thankful for survival. We can make a new start. We will always treat life as if it is precious from now on. However the reality is somewhat different. We can’t maintain that level of ‘positive’ thinking. Eventually we want to be ‘normal’ again. Whatever is your ‘normal’ and yet it cannot be. The heart is damaged and adjustments must be made. We might think it’s (what you have described) all in the mind but that is not so. Remember that shock the whole body endured, the recovery etc? Second point. It just might have disturbed other ways the body functions. Just because the HA is the focus, it does not mean that another illness could not have helped predispose you to it. Also the HA might have disturbed the body in a way not yet identified. From my experience just keep a weathered eye on yourself. Without getting paranoid! I encourage you to always take your blood tests, even privately, (I have found to my cost NHS only say ‘within range - whose range?). Often results are not even discussed with patients for the same reason. You will get annual blood tests from now on. Educate yourself and check them every time! Keep notes somewhere. Is something showing up ‘on the cusp’, near either end of ‘range’ year after year? If so question your doctor closely.
Hi Ewloe I really feel for you and know how you feel, doing all the right things and anxiety kicks in. A month ago had my second mild heart attack and another stent fitted to add to the two I had two years ago and felt lathargic, fed up and really down. The doctor said it was anxiety, being knocked back after all the life changes you have made. He has offered me counselling but hoping to cope with it by keeping active, however I have considered early retirement as I am only 57. Like you say I don't want to be offered medication if it comes to that. All the time, all the medication just something else to worry about.
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