I’m sitting here working out the best way to explain this. Well—— waffle warning!!!
After my HA 12 months ago I was positive, looking at my life and felt like eventhough physically I’d had these limitations put upon me mentally I was dealing with it well.
but as I’ve said on here recently it’s been and still is a roller coaster physically and mentally. Physically I’ve improved loads from 12 months ago and still continue to improve.
mentally I’d felt I’d’got away with any downsides’
Then January I’d had a bit of depression- from nowhere, never had depression before. Don’t know why, there’s no obvious triggers except the life changes my HA and PAF have brought. My husband has some and I did recognise it in me. So determined to avoid medication for it I worked with it, battled it and it went quite quickly back into its box where at present it remains. Since then I’ve finished 12 months sick and finished work which feels like totally the right thing to do and I’m certain I’ve made the right decision. I’ve made new friends at rehab and other keep fit activities I do. Financially we’ll manage.
But anxiety has now come out of it’s box, not too bad at first then about 2 months ago I went from 0 to 100 in second’s over something that was pretty small really. It was a horrible anxiety attack, I’ve had odd bits of anxiety but nothing at all like this. I was totally catastrophising !!!!!!
Since then I can feel that anxiety feeling getting out I’ve had a few bad attacks but nothing like that first one at all but the anxiety feelings are always just there, I don’t have them back in their box yet. I’ve been working on this with a counsellor and making improvements. I’m not at all anxious about my heart but all the other stuff that goes on in life 🤷🏼♀️ I’ve still aimed at avoiding medication.
Yesterday I saw the electrophysiologist for the first time for what turns out to be none sustained ventricular tachycardia. From the damaged heart muscle from the HA . No PAF has been seen recently but that’s how that goes. Whilst the bisoprolol 7.5 I’m on from the HA side of things has been controlling most of it I’m not suitable for anti arrhythmics as my pulse is 37 at night and I’m getting some bisoprolol side effects.
anyway I told him about my anxiety and how I’m working on it, he’s recommended I go on medication for anxiety as it can affect heart health. And he feels whilst I do have this arrhythmia and PAF anxiety might also be causing some of my symptoms I agree with this but having worked hard for a while now to avoid this medication and having improved a bit, I’m disappointed and feel a bit defeated. I so wanted to avoid medication as we all know the amount we take anyway. Has anyone had this come on so far down the line from the actual heart event?
We’re going to try reducing bisoprolol to 5mg but if the arrhythmia’s become less controlled I might need a pacemaker for bradycardia so that I can have other medications for it. But that’s further down the line, in the meantime he’s hoping the anti anxiety medication will help some symptoms. I’m feeling I’ll take it— reluctantly?