Feeling ‘flat’ a year after bypass

[Sewing19]

I am a year post op after an ‘out of the blue’ heart attack and triple bypass. I have also been a Type 1 diabetic for 42 years.

I had an unremarkable recovery. No problems apart from a wound infection months after operation when I also had COVID. I wasn’t really ill then either.

My life has returned to normal. I’m in a rock choir, I sew in a group, I play bowls, I walk, we’ve just had a cruise, so life is good. So why do I feel flat? I have always been a glass 3/4 full person, busy and engaging.

I’ve never had depression but I’m wondering if I’ve got a kind off post operation depression. Is my mind saying ‘Hey, you haven’t acknowledged the huge trauma you’ve been through’. Strangely, just writing those words has made me want to cry. I only cried when I had my angiogram and was told the shocking news that I needed a triple heart bypass and then on the day I came home. Due to COVID I had to cope with it all alone, apart from phone calls, chat groups etc. No one to give me a hug in hospital.

I’m sure that there are others who’ve felt like this. I was being referred for some diabetes counselling before this happened but I took myself off the waiting list. The daily routine of planning, injections, testing, calculations etc is wearing at times.

Thanks for reading my post and I hope people can relate. X