Strange reactions to surgery.

[Tickertalker]

I had heart surgery about 15 months ago and have had to deal with a lot of complications. A stroke being the main one. A couple of the smaller issues got buried, but I was wondering if anyone identified. I jump out of my skin at sudden noises such as the phone ringing. I also well up at emotional moments on TV. These things so aren't me and I wonder if I'll ever become my old self again.

[Blackcatsooty]

Dear Tickertalker

I too have had the delights of a stroke followed some years late r by OHS.

The emotionality is common for us stroke survivors. It will ease. Six years on and I still can’t face a funeral, but watching tv etc is ok.

Us males don’t cry…well I do now !

I did get a bit jumpy but never thought much about it.

The stroke was four years before OHS. But knowing what symptoms relate to which issue has been hard. The OHS recovery is an absolute doddle compared to stroke recovery. OHS recovery shows improvements on a daily basis whereas stroke recovery is a monthly basis.

I do hope you do your trunk exercises and your gentle walk.

Best wishes

Colin

[Tickertalker in reply to Blackcatsooty]

Thanks Colin,

I had my OHS and my stroke at the same time. My first memory after coming around was being told that all had gone very well. My second, discovering that my right leg and arm were paralysed. If that was things going well, I'd hate to know what things going badly looks like. Couldn't agree with you more that stroke recovery is so much harder but I'm getting there and, against the odds, am now fully mobile, although I'll probably never be a professional footballer. At 67 that would be a long shot anyway. I must admit, I assumed my jumpy and emotional responses were heart issues, but maybe it's a stroke thing. Either way, I guess I just have to get used to becoming a new, in touch with my feelings, man.

Cheers, Nic.

[Hidden]

Dear Tickertalker,

I really don’t think that any of us will ever be our old selfs again. But we can flourish in our new selfs.

Like you I have become very sensitive to loud sharp sounds, { used to love my horror films ! } also my emotions are all over the place and last night I burst into tears at a cartoon snowman melting.

So what is happening? Mine are without doubt and confirmed by my consultant, medication based.

I was asked if I could manage both of these side effects along with a short list of other ones as both my heart and body was healing well on the combination given.

Once I knew {in my case} that a lot of the feeling were down to the medication I could just get on with it, I’m not saying that will work for you as we are all so different, but first you need to find those answers.

Your body and mind has been through a lot lately and never underestimate the power of the mind as it try’s to make sense of this journey, it will play tricks on you.

Please ask your team/consultant for the help that is available for you.

If I can help in anyway please ask

You are in my thoughts

[Tickertalker in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Blue1958,

Your offer of support is very kind. I couldn't agree more that, leaving asides the obvious physical recovery, the mind has a lot of healing to do too. Something that is overlooked in hospital. I could write a book on everything that went wrong for me and it all took its mental toll. Probably the worst moment being when a junior doctor mistakenly decided that I was allergic to blood thinners and put me on a drip of Vit K. (Not a good move straight after having a mechanical valve plumbed in.) I was rushed across London for a third operation in two weeks and spent three days in a Covid isolation ward convinced that death by blood clots was only moments away. Although never diagnosed, I'm fairly sure that, after two months in hospital, I was discharged struggling with PTSD. I guess it's not surprising that, a year down the road, I'm still a little jumpy.

Cheers,

Nic.

[080311]

Hello Tickertalker

As I have said many times to new members when we have a heart issue our lives fly out of the window and this new life flies in. We have medication to take exercise to make sure we do doctors appointments blood tests watch our diet. The list goes on, we have come face to face with our own mortality.

Being more emotional is par for the course I can look at my boys their daughters and thank my medical team that gave me my life back it’s been 5 years since my surgery and every day I thank them, I can see how my family as grown how my granddaughters are turning into young women with the world waiting for them to make an impression. So you can see being emotional is something that I think comes along with our heart issues 😉

So really the answer to your question is no maybe not but you are a different version of you. More emotional more caring yes but someone who is still here.

Best wishes Pauline

[Tickertalker in reply to 080311]

Hi Pauline,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It sounds like your life is going well. I'm sure that you're right in saying that we have to seek contentment with our new lot and gain insight from a heightened awareness of our mortality. Not something that I have achieved so far as I still miss the old me and want him back. My children have all jogged on recently and, while I love them more than anything, I can't envisage living my life through them. Rather, I had imagined a retirement packed with adventure and daring do. Having a stroke mid-operation put pay to that little dream and I have no Plan B. My surgery was recommended but not essential and I deeply regret going ahead. I'll have a longer life no doubt but quality trumps quantity for me every time. Maybe I'll feel differently as time passes. As they say, “When one door closes another one opens”, it's just that nobody talks about the corridor between the two.

Cheers,

Nic.

[080311 in reply to Tickertalker]

Can understand completely, 5 weeks after my surgery my lovely husband had a huge stroke, right out of the blue. One minute telling me he was going for a shave the next he is on the floor! Both our lives changed I became his carer he lost a lot of his sight and his left side but not his speech.At the back of my head is that the stress he was under while I was sick ended up with his stroke!( is it my fault)

We have been married now over 50 years, up to his retirement he was an officer in the Merchant navy. We had plans for after retirement but like you they disappeared. The thing that as seen us through is that all our lives we have been able to laugh, and even now when things look so black we end up laughing the situation is so ludicrous 😂 don’t get me wrong lots of tears have been shed over the last 5 years but he is still here and so am I.

I really hope you to can find a way through.

Best wishes Pauline