I just thought I would post about something that I find increasingly annoying. Many posters (particularly first time posters) ask a question. This is usually followed by a number of replies (often by what I consider the core membership). These often include a comment like "let us know how it goes" or "keep us updated". Frequently this never happens. Sometimes they pop up months later with another question with no mention about their earlier one. Considering people have taken the time to answer it is only common courtesy to update them.
Rant over!
Written by
MichaelJH
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38 Replies
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Well said Michael, I often notice this and think the same.
MichaelJH I hear what you are saying, I have found this forum a lifeline! As you get to hear and read other people’s views and how the health issues we have affect each of us differently. A problem shared , as they say!
It’s only polite to keep people updated who have taken the time to answer your questions.
As yet I am still no further ahead with getting to see my RA consultant. When I do I will update all the people who gave advice and took the time to answer and send me best wishes xxx
I don’t feel that ‘common courtesy’ can be defined as a ‘rule’!
Agree totally. If you ask a visitor (haven't had one sine 2019) what they would like to drink adding Please after a coffee/a lager/a wee dram/etc. is a common courtesy not a rule.
I have actually messaged a few people to see how they got on but never had a reply. I think it would be useful if a person's profile showed when they last logged in.
I'm not looking for any sort of thanks or kudos when I ask someone I've replied to for an update - I'm looking for the update as I tend to fret about the person until I hear back. Too, I learn from nearly every discussion I've ever read here so updates are very important, equally in my opinion to the OP and replies.
Although, I do have to say, as someone who has been message boarding since the early 2000s, there is (well, perhaps better to say 'was') an etiquette to it that includes an acknowledgement otherwise one feels 'ghosted' or 'blanked', and that's never nice.
To each their own, my own is hoping for at least a 'I'm still breathing' update, and maybe something a bit more so I can learn something new.
I like this. Ideas scattered freely. Just pick what’s useful, no obligation to thank anyone.
Hello
I do agree and I am old fashioned I always do my upmost to Thank anyone that has taken the time to be kind enough to reply to me as I appreciate it so much but I think not only in this Community but in others as well this is something that happens a lot right or wrong
I used to let it annoy me but now I just think I have tried to support someone the best I can unconditionally and accept they do not have the manners to just tick like or update me
If I notice a member that does it often I just don't reply after a while that way it stops annoying me
I hope the rant helped you get it all out we all need one sometimes x
Hi Michael, I like to give a response to a lot of the posts on here, even if I can't give a positive answer I still like to let people know that we are all here for them. I have received so much love from people on this site, and I know what you mean, just to acknowledge a reply would be great. Take care.
Yes Michael very annoying but we all keep trying to help. Maybe it us oldies with more time on our hands to reply. Says he is just back from golfing all day 😂
I thank you all for your questions and replies. I have not posted before as new to this heart forum. Everything has been useful to me as I am waiting to have telephone interview with cardiologist. The questions I cannot ask him yet have been answered by many of you and taking the stress of not knowing about my own possible angina issues answered. Thank you all. You are such a Blessing to us even if we hide in the closet like me.
Usually I say "Hello and welcome to the forum!" when replying to a new poster so I will say so now.
I see you are interested in CVD (Cardiovascular Disease). There is a wide spectrum of experience here so any questions just ask. Whilst waiting for your cardiogist if a question of healthy lifestyle, and keeping an eye on cholesterol and BP.
It seems very important to some here to be thanked, and hear if their advice or comments have been useful, and less important to others.
Just like people seem to ask questions for different reasons, people answer posts for different reasons.
It’s not at all important to me to be thanked, though I do like to hear updates on how people are doing.
I am very grateful for the information and support I’ve had here, given very freely over the years, and I give mine as freely as I can. No thanks required.
Hi Kristin1812. Just an acknowledgement would let people know that they have read the answers people have given, thanks are not needed. Take care.
Ruth
I agree Michael, I’ve been so grateful to this forum I also do my best to offer any insight or encouragement of my own when anyone asks questions. Purely because I’ve appreciated it in the past. I did like the seed analogy BetsyB3 😊. I also like to spin a positive and think that people don’t come back because they are ok. No news is good news etc, that kind of thing.
A forum like this is useful because you can ask a question on Heart Queries like Diagnostic Tests which many people have experience of, also you can ask about Treatments, Medications etc which I feel is an important insight into what is going on with other posters.But and here comes the but I think this is one of the most useful platforms to reassure others who are suffering from Mental Health issues associated with their current ongoing problems !! I am pretty lucky I accept almost everything the Medical Profession offer me I can cope with Medication side effects and I have accepted my Medical Condition. I live a pretty full life after 40 years of Heart Related problems and if I can pass on something positive I will.
If people don't come back to the Forum I would work on the basis they have accepted the information passed on or they didn't think it worthwhile, we all have choices. Nothing to get uptight about with Michaels Post, it's down to choices !!
When I answer a post, I don’t do it for the thanks but because if I can help put someone’s mind at rest about something I have been through then I will be very happy to contribute. Though I am of a generation that was brought up to say please and thank you. When you get a post back saying thank you, that does make you happy and maybe that person will get a better nights sleep and a better day, knowing the surgery they are facing is not as bad as their imagination is making it. I am so grateful for all the help and support I have received over all the years I have been here on this wonderful forum.
Nah, I'm good with no updates. Or even overt "thanks."
This is a (hopefully) long journey we're all on, and for me, at least, every day is different. There are so many variables -- for example, I've had stents, HA, SCA, a bucket load of tests from angiogram on down, more prescriptions than I can keep track of...so I just look for nuggets of wisdom, truth, inspiration, ideas that I can bounce off my cardiologists...then there's the mental side...
I think sometimes people post when they’re so stressed forgetting the responses are real people not anonymous bots. I’ve taken a lot of heart from peoples posts on here and am really grateful for positivity and common sense. Thankyou all
This is very eye opening for me....I think I've only posted once (and think.i did say thank you to replies!)
But while expecting number 2 and having heart issues....I rarely have time to post but just looking at the other posts and having a bit more knowledge from these experienced people is very reassuring and also just to know you are not the only one out there with these issues! Don't glean enough information from doctor appointments so this community is a blessing even tho some (myself) don't have much time to post much!
Event he daily emails with info on cholesterol meds I find interesting as I know the docs will be on me after the baby is born to get on it as it's borderline and the 2 they have tried haven't worked out I'm the past.
I just wanted to put out my thankfulness to this forum even tho I'm not a active poster!
You need to understand when someone ask a question for the first time they are more than likely very upset and panicking about their health issues that has arisen. Posts like this could stop people asking a question when they are at their lowest point. I agree it is manners to reply but if someone has just found out they have a heart issue I guess the last thing on their mind is manners.
I like this post. It reminded me how traumatic a heart event can be, and how extra kind we need to be. Isn’t it understandable if some forget their usual politesse?
I was just about to write something similar. We need to remember with massive life-changing events common courtesy just goes out the window. It's unlikely it's done deliberately and we just need to be sympathetic as times of massive stress affects each of us differently. I'm sure we have all been there.
Well done my friend, the only time I received a reply was on car insurance, that says a lot, never had feed back from GP or any medical personnel since Heart Attack 2019.
I have asked a lot of questions in the past few months and always try to acknowledge everyone who has taken time to respond with helpful advice and comments. I never update though, simply because l have almost never received any update from my doctors so l cannot update here. Very stressful.
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