Hello,
Any advise would be welcome. As a couple we are now waiting for my husband to have double heart bypass surgery on 10th June.
Every morning waking up to the reality is hard. The physical tips I’m reading is helpful but how do you recognise the emotional side is getting to much and seek help. Thanks
Morning Debupsidedown
When we are told we have any heart issues it comes as a huge shock, in my case felt the ground had opened up under my feet and my normal life had flown out of the window. In some ways that is what as happened, I had Aortic valve replaced and bypass done 4 years ago, we now have a new normal medication to take watching our diet and making sure we take exercise, as the physios say use it or lose it😂
After open heart surgery remember your brain as to catch up with what as happened to our body it’s thinking what as happened here, you will get emotional and that’s normal, but these feelings pass. After a while I would forget that I had surgery and then see my scar in the mirror and think wow that really did happen to me.
When to seek help with your emotions is harder to say, only you know how you and your husband are feeling, and how difficult you are finding it. But there is help if you need it.
Remember his medical team do this as their day job and will be very good at what they do.
I wish you and your husband the very best
Pauline
Thx Pauline. All good advise. My husbands is a genetic small artery and ageing issue. He is a fit slim 54 yr old who recovered from two attacks last year as they thought it was indigestion. Feels like a harder hill to climb when he’s never taken a tablet in his life... now there’s 5 in the morning 3 at night. I know the op is a massive hurdle. But will be better long term. 
Yes getting your head round having medication to take can be difficult, I had never had any pills or potions either before getting sick comes as a bit of a shock, open heart surgery is a big op, but as you will read lots go through it and come out the other side with a new zest for life. Just follow the instructions he will be given no lifting his arms above his head no pushing or pulling movements and no lifting anything heavier than half a kettle of water, the sternum needs 8-10 weeks to heal, the breathing exercises he will be given by the physios I called them huffing and puffing keep doing them when he gets home they really help, remember his lungs will be collapsed when on by pass and the little pockets need to be filled out again, and listen to his body when it says I am tired you rest. Baby steps and before you know it filling good again.
Best wishes Pauline
Not sure there is an easy answer to your question. I can only re-iterate what has already been said in the hope that this reassures you both.
OHS is practiced like a production line - during my time post surgery recovery I never heard anyone describe it any differently.
1. You get admitted for up to a week ahead of the op (to be sure that you do not have MRSA, Covid etc) so all the team can meet you, explain to you what is happening and do any last minute tests they think might help to ensure the smoothest of operations.
2. You have the op - I saw a few people who went down at 8:30am for the op, and were back on the recovery ward at 7pm the same night AND were got sitting in a chair by 9pm! Most were the next day - but getting you in a chair is just as quick.
3. You undergo the 'short' recovery spell' where they check everything has gone OK and remove the various but and pieces used to assist with the op and post op monitoring, whilst also get encouraged to do more sittign and walking everyday you are there.
4. As soon as they can - they discharge you - and take it from me, at Basildon they do not disacharge you to save money etc - they discharge you because they believe that you recover better at home than in hospital. It is as simple as that (along with the fact you will often get better food at home 😆).
The staff are absolutely amazing, and from my experience could not do enough to get you through the whole event. My family and I were in contact with each other frequently via FaceTime courtesy of the free hospital WiFi (so no cost to you...) and my family were often able to see ward rounds and ask questions of the staff & clinicians themselves - which was extremely reassuring to all.
In terms of severity of procedures, a bypass seems to be one of the less demanding of procedures they undertake. I'm not meaning to decry the severity of the op, merely to reassure you that this is not one of those 6-11 hour ops that they can perform with valve replacments etc.
We can't stop you worrying - that's a normal thing to experience pre op, but we can try to reduce the level and frequency of the worrying through explaination of our experiences.
I wish your husband well with his op, and will think of him as i am having a tooth filled (same day).
🤗🤗🤗 thx so much made me giggle. Did you have stents before your op? That’s something that is concerning my other half. How they manage them through surgery. Good luck at the dentist.
No stents before the op - they often do stents during an Angiogram at our local hospital. If they do put some stents in, he will be none the wiser. Only people who have mechanical valves used for Aortic Valve Replacement seem to notice any difference (they can feel and hear it click as it works 👍)
Sorry he’s had three stents fitted since November. Angiogram seems like a walk in the park compared to bypass
As said, if the decide to use stents as part of the surgery, he will be nine the wiser. Bypass normally harvests a vein from the leg - mine was a triple bypass and my leg is still working fine, albeit with a few well known quirks following such procedures, but nothing that would stop me having a vein harvested again.
The next day after my aortic valve replacement a nurse walked me down to the bathroom for a good wash down. The following day was the worst part when two physios got me from my chair and walked me down the corridor and up two flights of stairs with frequent rests and back to the ward again. That convinced me all would be well.
My fiancé had a triple bypass just over a year ago.
Everyone copes differently with this type of upcoming event.
He didn’t want to discuss it at all - it was booked, he was having it done and that was that as far as he was concerned (he was terrified though as had never been in hospital, never had an anaesthetic etc)
I on the other hand wanted to be “prepared” so I read up on what I could, I brought everything I thought he’d need (and quite a lot of things we didn’t!) and i carried on working till the day before he went into hospital. This all helped as it felt like I was doing something useful.
If you are struggling with the emotional side then consider seeing your GP as you need to look after yourself too - this is very important, as looking after my fiancé really took its toll on me at times and the days after the surgery can be an emotional rollercoaster for partners/wife’s etc (goes without saying they’ll also be very difficult for the patient!)
Hope it goes well for you both 😊
Hi, I am due for a mitral valve repair or replace on the 8th of June 3 days before my 70th birthday in fact. My problem was diagnosed nearly one-and-a-half years ago now but because of the pandemic it's taken this long to actually get an operation date... my symptoms aren't too bad I get breathless and feel very tired and I have lived this long with huge anxiety , so that when I was told the date I felt an enormous tension leave my body which surprised me. I'm a very emotional person and I've been crying nearly every day since my diagnosis. So I do understand the emotional affect a heart problem has on an individual and those who care about them. This last two weeks I have tried not to think about it when possible and then occasionally do something useful in preparation like writing lists, tidying up a little bit Etc.... I like you reached the point of extreme anxiety a few months ago and did speak to my g p who gave me some tranquilizers which I don't take regularly and they're very low dose but they do help to have a break. So I wish you all strength and as one or more of our members have said. The worry beforehand is in fact worse than the actual hospitalization. I found this real support, keep talking to us and sharing it helps me too. And we must remember it's probably just a week after our lives in the hospital and then few weeks concentrating on recovery.
Hello there, I am in virtually the same position as you except I’m 10 years older and part of my delay was lowering steroids which I’m taking for PMR. I have only just been ref
Jamie I cannot seem to see the rest of your post after you say you just been referred and what is PMR?
PMR=polymyalgia rheumatica, VERY painful. I have gradually reduced my steroids and I am now down to 1mg a day ( from 15) so ready for surgery, Covid permitting. I haven’t had my appointment yet as I need a TOE, trans oesophageal echo again. I was just asking for tips really, especially about recovery and how much you can actually do initially.
Thanks for replying. By the way Jamie isn’t my name, I am Sue!
Are you on your own? I ask because I'm finding it difficult to find somebody to stay with me for a week after the operation. I did have a few offense but things keep happening.
Had mine coming up to 18 months ago and all is well but looking back I would say 3 things. Make sure he follows the pain meds routine. I got all brave and thought I could handle it without them and the bottom line was I couldn't. Keep on top of the pain till things ease. Sleep was so much of a problem to me in the first 4 weeks. No comfortable position found so become a night hawk counting the minutes till morning. Mentally not a good place. A good recliner if you have one or can borrow one eventually afforded me more rest until I was able to return to a bed. Lastly, I did get depressed at the discomfort, tiredness and getting out of breath going up 1 flight of stairs. Be aware and patient as you sound as if you will give him constant support and reassurance. It will get better in time. The old cliché about it being a marathon and not a sprint will apply.
Thanks a lot Martin, that’s been really helpful, I have actually bought a recliner recently as I’m better with my legs elevated. I haven’t met my surgeon yet but her secretary has phoned , can’t wait to get on with it, I’ve been waiting over a year.
Thanks again, stay safe and sane! Sue.
I had the same last year in March just before Covid struck ! Then three stents in July .Totally unexpected,thought I had heart burn and it was a heart attack 🥴The procedure is fine the worst bit was sleep 💤 I bought two v shaped pillows . Slept propped up for weeks!but relatively comfortable. Also take a pillow for return journey in the car to protect from the seat belt .
I didn't tolerate strong painkillers so had eight paracetamol per day and it was fine.
Honestly it’s not pleasant but not as bad as I was expecting!
Good luck .
Hi
I had a double bypass in Oct 2019 following a pretty bad heart attack in September that year. I was 54 and healthy - or so I thought. Never been to hospital.
Yesterday after a gruelling 45 minute session on my Peleton I said to my wife how unbelievable it was that only 18 months or so ago when I awoke from the CABG op in the recovery room and in the weeks after slowly regained my strength that I could never ever imagine life ever being the same again and the last thing I thought was possible was being able to do a leg busting spinning session. BUT here I am as living proof.
He must listen to his body and take his time in recovery but I have no doubt that with a determined mind set and the love around him (as I had with my closest family) he too can not only get to what he was before but something even better! Trust me.
Thanks very much, you’ve certainly made a great recovery. All the best for the future. Sue
Thanks for the reply, it helps. Does your wife have any tips for me? Any Do’s and don’ts for me as the person who will be looking after my husband.
I had double bypass last December. The waiting was awful. What helped most was getting as fit as possible (for a 70 year old) in preparation for the surgery. Eat well sleep well and exercise. I did a lot of walking and yoga in the months before the surgery and I believe that helped me get through the recovery.
I found it really useful to talk to a couple of friends who had gone through the same operation and it was re-assuring to hear their experiences. Both said that they felt so much better once they had got over the early days of recovery and that the benefits were worth the ordeal.
Recovery has been tough but here I am five months later feeling good and getting back to normal activities.
Stay positive and think of the benefits you will get from the operation. It is like getting a second shot at normal living.
I hope this helps you .
Good Luck 👍
Tell yourself that the surgery is going to save his life and is routine to the surgery team and three months from now he will be a new person.
Thanks very much, actually he is me, Sue! I haven’t got a date yet but I’m finally in the line! Good wishes, Sue.
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