Palliative car

[Chicklepea]

Hello. My 81 year old Mum had a slight heart attack two weeks ago. I had to resuscitate her at home. She is in heart failure and all 3 coronary arteries are very narrow. We were told they would stent her however they suddenly changed their mind and are to discharge her home to die.

Is this normal? She is fighting this all the way and has told them she isn't ready to die. She isn't your normal 81 year old. Any help and advice is welcomed? She also caught Covid in hospital. Thank you xx

[bantam12]

I would get a second opinion from a different hospital.

[Peony4575]

Am so sorry to hear that . A distressing situation and awful having to resuscitate your mum you did well to keep your head .Not qualified to comment on your mothers medical care , but a few years ago my dad was discovered to have a bad bowel cancer. He was in his mid eighties had all his marbles and a zest for life most definitely was not ready to die . The doctors wanted to give him palliative care because they said he would probably survive the operation but not the recovery . My Dad wanted to take his only shot insisted on the operation and died two weeks later in intensive care . He lost the little bit of life remaining to him but went out fighting which was like him. Your mum is a different person but I don’t think the doctors make these decisions lightly . I do feel for you and your family all the very best

[Rose54]

My Heart goes out to you My Mum is 92 last year she said no to op to replace 2 values in her heart as the risks where so big .

Up to this summer she was doing her garden growing all her veg

And walking dog twice a day even though she had to push her wheel chair to do it .

Now she cooks her dinner and washes up and that's it .

She's short of breath and tired all the time

But she has her sense of humour still .

Fight for your Mum if its what she wants

Good Luck

[AJ51]

Hi , I have worked in palliative care for 25 + years . I think you both need to understand how they came to the decision, ask to make an appointment with the consultant or senior registrar as soon as possible. It maybe her heart is effecting other organs and the balance of intervention would not be in her best interest. Make a list of questions for the consultant to help you feel confident during and after . You can then decide if this is the right decision or you need to seek another opinion. However , please also remember that palliative care is about managing her symptoms, living with a diagnosis, rather than dying from it . That’s very simplified but I hope it helps .

[Thanksnhs in reply to AJ51]

Hi that is a lovely reply, I am not in that situation but I never thought of palliative care in that way, I just thought mabe like a lot of people, you were just sent home to wait, rather than living with it , char

[080311 in reply to Thanksnhs]

Couldn’t agree more.

Pauline x