Is there anybody that can help. My grandson is 6 and has autism not officially diagnosed as the waiting lists is so long to see anybody but doctors have said that’s what it is but needs to be confirmed. My daughter is on a long waiting list to get proper diagnosis. But in the meantime she is at her wits end with him he’s violent and has melt downs at home. At school he’s fine but as soon as he gets home or she takes him somewhere he spends his time screaming being violent and totally out of control as it’s a long waiting lust I have offfedto pay for a private consultation. Can anybody tell me how I begin to do this and who do I call. My daughter is at breaking point she has three other children the girls are fine but her 4 year old son is also showing signs of it too. Please can anybody give me some advice on what to do. My daughter is at her witts end and I am frightened for her
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Bichon76
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This forum is for support and advice to people who have heart /cardiovascular issues.
Have you though about posting your question to the support group for autism, someone there might have experience of this problem and have appropriate advice - link below
I know the difficulties you are facing and the feeling of helplessness. Your grandson needs to be assessed for an EHCP. (Educational Health and Care Plan). Only the parent or guardian can request this.
How do I request an Ehcp?
If your school is supportive and knowledgeable about special needs, they may start off the process for you. But you can request one yourself, simply by contacting your local authority's special educational needs department and requesting an assessment for an EHCP (some have a form to complete on their website).
Otherwise a private assessment is usually undertaken by an educational psychologist. Word of mouth recommendation or Google educational psychologist and add your area.
You are on the wrong forum for specialist advice, as someone has said this is a forum for heart patients. There are a lot of forums for parents/carers with SEN children. google and you will find lots of support and, usually, groups in your area.
Good luck: be very careful you do not alienate the school - try to work with them.
i would get in contact with your daughters GP with her permission or make an appointment and go with her and explain what is happening..
I would also ring up social services and ask for him to be referred to the community mental health team for advice.
The school is another area i would explore and see why he is so calm at school but not at home. Would wearing headphones be of any use when he goes out.
It sounds like he is lashing out due to not being able to have one to one which he will have more of at school. I am guessing that the 4 year old may just be copying the 6 year old as i am also guessing the 6 year old will get his own way in order to keep home life calm. Take care. i hope you get the support you need.
no problem. You are using the SEND Act 2014 to request the assessment. You need to know about this legislation as it will often be mentioned and you will need to refer to it if the authority do not stick to the timetable for assessment and responses. As usual there is the lack of resources, qualified staff and finance driving an awful lot of decisions - people are not deliberately obstructive but they are trapped by circumstances and the demand for assessments always exceeds available appointments.
I too have a grandson who has problems and my poor daughter was at her wits end with him. I paid for her to go to a functional medicine doctor in Harley street. He had a whole load of tests done and has been on a very strict diet tailored for him plus supplements. He is now quite used to it and is definitely better for it although not by any means right. I hate to think how he would be if he were not on the diet and supplements.
Our son had problems when he was young (he is now a brilliant caring wonderful chap) but I too put him on a diet and gave him oil of evening primrose and zinc which helped him enormously.
Diet makes a huge difference. I would be happy to talk to you about it if there were any way I could.
Melt downs and violence are so difficult to cope with an affect the whole family and all that worry cannot help your heart in any way. You need a hug.
Thank you so much for your advice I will show my daughter this message. And take it from there I have had recently had major heart surgery and gone through cancer twice. So all this worry with my grandson and my daughter is very distressing. And I’m only 57. I should be enjoying my life but i can’t because I’m so worried about them thank you for taking the time to send some advice and I will follow up on it x
I went through the same thing with my son (he's now 15). I was fortunate that his Nursery Manager was also an Early Years Advisor to the LEA. She felt that my son should be assessed and my GP did the referral. At the initial assessment (age 3.5/4), and which the Nursery Manager attended with us, the doctor felt there was enough evidence to diagnose ASD. However, the Local Education Authority refused to acknowledge it! At nursery, staff helped enormously, acknowledging the diagnosis and implementing the necessary support. At our first and middle schools, help was limited and the experience frustrating. I offered to pay for a private assessment but was advised that it HAD to be done by an Educational Psychologist employed by the LEA; private assessments would not be accepted. Thankfully, my son now attends a local grammar school where the SENCO implemented everything my son needs (1:1 in practical lessons, a quiet room, time out card, handwriting class etc) all without having to wait for the LEA to decide whether or not there's enough evidence to Statement him! (He sits his GCSEs next year!). My son's behaviour is now settled and his grades have improved. He does have access to CAMHS as - unsurprisingly - he became anxious and depressed whilst at his middle school. I know it's tough but you have to keep going. Years ago, my sister - a TA - showed me how to safely restrain my child when he became aggressive and it worked wonders in his younger years, ensuring no one got hurt. It might be worth asking if the school/LEA/GP could suggest an organisation who teach restraint techniques for children? (It's not a nice thought, but it's proven invaluable to us). Good Luck.
My niece has autism and her psychologist recommended that my sister watched 'Yvonne Newbold, what to do in a meltdown' on youtube to my sister. I have also watched it and Yvonne is brilliant. She is a lovely lady who has a daughter who is autistic and found she wasn't getting any help so she did some training and now does talks about coping with autism. She explains everything so well, it is really worth watching until you find the help you need. It took my sister a long time to get my niece assessed. If you look on goggle search for autism assessment it should tell you if there is anything in your area. The one thing that your daughter as hard as it is when they are in a meltdown is to know it is as scary for the child as it is for the parent. My niece is full of remorse after (she is 19 now) and she said she doesn't know what she is doing in a meltdown and just cannot help herself. Autism is such a hard thing for a child to live with, life is so confusing and they are exhausted from trying to make sense of the world. I hope your daughter gets some help, she is lucky to have a supportive mum. Have a look on google and try the society for autism as well they have lots of advice and someone you can talk to. Good luck.
Thank you so much for your advice I will show her your text when I see her today and I will also look it up so I can help out. I really appreciate you taking the time to help us x
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Feeling pretty low,
THE JOURNEY STARTS HERE.........LIFES CURVE BALLS
husband diagnosed with cardiovascular disease 
Had GP appointment today !!
