Help!!!

[Saffron20]

I am one of the very vulnerable and ones unfortunately and trying my best to stay safe but.., I have a 26 year old son living at home who’s benn laid off for three months. He doesn’t take the situation seriously AT ALL! He thinks woohoo it’s 3 months paid time off and party time with his mates! He says he can’t possibly stay at home and is just socialising and ‘having fun’. How can I make him take my health and the family’s health seriously. His elder brother who lives some distance away has had the virus along with my granddaughter but he thought it was funny! I really can’t think of how to make him wise up??

[Prada47]

Hi Quick question is how do you know his brother has had the virus, has he been tested and had confirmation ? Not a family expert but sounds like it's time to let your son go tell him to move in with his Mates .

Regards

[Saffron20 in reply to Prada47]

My eldest son had all the recognised symptoms and had spent time in London working so it is an assumption that it was the virus. My granddaughter is still poorly with a cough, high temp and bad chest. They were told by GP just to self isolate.

[Saffron20]

Thanks for the suggestion and wise words but his soft touch Dad would let him back in! I have suggested many times that he leave!!

[Sunnie2day]

I'm with Prada - if your son can't be bothered to take your survival into account, it's time for him to move house/sofa surf with one of his mates, at least for the duration. And I like Thatwasunexpected's 'change the locks' suggestion too - but I hope it doesn't come to that at your home!

If need be, have a few friends of yours in to help enforce his removal. I don't know (nor do I want to know) your family dynamic but these are 'fraught' times and if you confront your son while you're alone, it may not go well - he may refuse to go. If you have physically able and hopefully two someones backing you up who your son might respect, you stand a better chance of finally getting him to face reality.

[Saffron20 in reply to Sunnie2day]

Thank you. Yes back up is a good idea. I tried myself already and ended up in tears! Will enlist some help from strong willed people!

[Sunnie2day in reply to Saffron20]

I speak from sad personal experience. Long story short soon after my husband died and a heart condition I have went on the wobble, our late teens son went a bit bolshie. It took a very large, very intimidating friend my son had and still has the deepest respect for sitting down with the lad and telling him until my heart condition was sorted he'd be stopping with the large intimidating friend rather than living at home with me and making my condition worse than it already was.

'The lad' is now a week from his 38th birthday - the year he stopped with the large intimidating friend was the making of him.

Hope things are sorted for you sooner rather than later. Please update!

[Saffron20]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply and really glad things worked out for you. I have a great neighbour who will help me out I’m sure. Just hope one of his mates will put up with him. He’s off for a weekend ‘jolly’ so out of my hair for a while at least. The other thing I find difficult is cleaning everywhere each time he comes back from somewhere!

I am on the case now with friends, neighbours and family to put the pressure on!

So good to talk to so many people who see things rationally.

[ali161]

That's not good at all. It's his duty to be protective of you and make your life easier, not more difficult. Yes, I think it would help if people who know about the situation talked to him about it. I'm wondering whether there is a number you can call for advice, sorry if I'm not much help. Does anyone else know?

[Saffron20]

Thanks. Don’t know if there’s a helpline? Will do some research. You are a help by reaching out. I don’t feel so alone with it now after everyone’s supportive replies.