I have just managed to survive my 75th birthday and have been trying to behave myself and stop my blood pressure creeping up. A few years ago I went to a little village near Lannion in Brittanny, where there is a very ornate crucifixion sculpture which draws people in by the bus load.
When I first saw it I thought it interesting but not too remarkable. It is very ornate in a gothic sort of way, with something like a black bird sitting on the left hand side of the cross beam. When I looked closer it seemed like an tiny elf or a gnome. I drew closer and realised it had a couple of horns on its head, a forked tail, a sly smile on its face, and a pitch fork in its hand. The devil himself and looking at me.
Anyway back to the after affects of my birthday celebration. I was lying on the settee when the door bell rang. My wife answered. It was the local undertaker who explained that he was in the area . Another one of my neighbours had a heart attack and died and he thought he would call in and explain his prepaid options. He looked at me and said to my wife "This leaflet may be of use to you".
I felt very depressed. My heart got even more lumpy than usual. I slumped down. My wife went into the kitchen, got out the food mixer and made a remarkable range of chocolate cakes, blueberry muffins and fairy cakes. She put them on the table near me. I was truly impressed and I reached out to pick up a blueberry muffin..
Whack.. A wooden spoon hit me hard on the knuckles.
"Get off" she said, "They are for the funeral".
34 years old - diagnosed with myocarditis
Ectopic beats increase with short-chain carbs
Dogs Are Family
Feeling better 
