FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE
Three men die on Christmas Eve. To get into Heaven St. Peter says “you must have something on you that represents Christmas”
The Englishman flicks on his lighter and says “Its a candle”. St Peter lets him pass.
The Welshman jingles his keys and says “They’re sleigh bells” and St Peter lets him in.
The Irishman pulls out a G String and a Bra. St Peter says “How on earth can those represent Christmas”? Paddy says “They’re Carols!
The society dedicated to preserving the “much-abused” apostrophe was recently shut down with its chairman conceding defeat. In fact it came to a "full stop"!
Used correctly it becomes "They're Carol's" giving a whole new meaning.
P.S. It did make me smile! 
Competition time! I have spotted another, can you find it?
Another smiley here! 😁
Its?
Correct! 10/10 It is the possessive rather than an abbreviation for "it is".
All this talk about the apostrophe reminds me of Keith Waterhouse who founded AAAA (Association for the Annihilation of the Aberrant Apostrophe).
I used to love reading his articles/books. An old school journo who was in Fleet St in the old days. Considering the amount he drank I was amazed he lived to 80.
Agree the G String and Bra do belong to Carol.
If it had said There Carols or Their Carols puts it into a slightly different presentation. !! Complicated this English Language
Drilled into me at Haberdasher's Aske's Boys' School. Got lines once (in fountain pen for getting the apostrophes in the name wrong!
St Albans School never had an apostrophe - maybe it should have?
Think we played and beat you (the schools) in rugby but so long ago!
I was never very good at rugby and never made a team. Your school rings a bell as does Merchant Taylor and St. George's (Harpenden). I was in the cross country team though!
I read St George's had three players in the world cup. Merchant Taylor had a good team as well. What years were you in St Albans School?
For those of you with questionable eyesight there is no apostrophe in the story - just an exclamation mark Ho Ho Ho
Yes Jack's old Hat has one in Jack's !! In Joke
I had some terrible news last night, my younger brother was ferreting about under the sink (behind the curtain) and found a pop bottle (with a 6d deposit) with what he thought was fizzy pop inside. Unfortunately for him it was actually a very expensive yacht varnish. After drinking it, he became ill and was rushed to hospital but even with all of the ER efforts, he sadly died. A hospital spokesman later said that it was an unfortunate accident and although he had a terrible end he had a superb finish!
My other younger brother went for a ferret under the sink and found some onions drying there - he ate one and soon became very ill - after being rushed to hospital it was found that he had not eaten an onion but actually a daffodil bulb. A hospital spokesman suggested that although he was very ill he would be out in the Spring
advice on cardiac arrest 
A joke as requested 
I could do with a buddy to keep me on the straight and narrow
Update on being home
How do I know it's "end of life?"
