Tips please for stopping all booze.

[kefalonia1]

Hi all, l have just had my annual blood test results, and liver and kidneys are fine so is everything else. Despite cutting right back on the amount of wine l drink l don't trust myself lately, and feel its time to quit while l am ahead. Any tips please from any of you lovely people would be great. Also is it harder over the Christmas period? should l plan for January 1st, the 3rd anniversary of my first AVR. l am dreading it but determine to succeed. Any replies will be great, thanks. Sue. PS, also please let me know the benefits and downsides, will l lose patience with drinking people and become a holier than thou born again teetotal bore? hope not. Thanks.

[Calliope153]

I now go to social events clutching a couple of bottles of alcohol free wine. You try them all until you find one you like (some are horribly sweet). The irritating part is when someone else decides they like the wine and then, having drunk it all, discovering it is alcohol free, say they didn;t like it and knew it wasn;t real wine all along........... To be honest I wanted to give myself the best chance after my heart attack and knew for me it had to be no alcohol at all as I was unlikely to stick to an occasional glass of help your heart red wine. Few people realise I don;t drink at all as I am usually seen with a wine glass when everyone else is drinking. The boring bit is always being the driver.....

[Calliope153 in reply to Calliope153]

also should have added your bank balance improves as no alcohol means no tax on bottle....

[Zena166]

Hi Sue. I stopped alcohol immediately. The motivation was not wanting to contribute to another stroke or heart attack. It was relatively easy because I felt so ill that I didn’t want a drink then I just didn’t start again. I don’t even think about it now. I occasionally have non alcoholic drinks. Some that I’ve found palatable are Nosecco you really wouldn’t know the difference. Fruit ciders. The Gin with a cucumber or elderflower tonic is very refreshing. I don’t miss it but some places still don’t offer a variety of options so I stick to tonic or soda water. The only downside is being sober when all around are very drunk! And the temptation to slap them can be overwhelming however I have controlled myself so far 🤣Zx

[kefalonia1 in reply to Zena166]

Hi Zena, thanks for your reply. When l was in hospital for 3 months l was obviously teetotal but started when l came home. My Husband likes a drink so that was the problem. l was not well enough to go with him to the village pub on the weekends so l drank alone watching the telly. l have banned anyone from bringing booze into the house except on Christmas day. lts other people drunkenly repeating themselves over and over again which will make me want to gag them!!! Take care, Sue.

[Tickertalker]

I have open heart surgery coming up and was strongly advised by my cardiologist to moderate or quit drinking. It wasn't really what I wanted to hear but I decided to stop as, like you, I don't trust myself with moderation. The world is full of fun and interesting people who, for one reason or another, are teetotal so maybe it's time to seek out some new playmates. I would also recommend that you avoid situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Nursing a double orange juice in the local pub isn't for me. Yes, Christmas and New Year will be testing but my life has changed and staying sober isn't the end of the world especially when you consider that continuing to drink could be. I'm sure that your real friends will be supportive when you tell them why you're on the wagon. As a rule, those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind. Good luck.

[kefalonia1 in reply to Tickertalker]

Wise words, thanks. Sue.

[Yorkshirehead]

Hi Sue,

You have set yourself a difficult challenge. Like one of your other ‘repliers’I have taken to drinking alcohol free beer. This is fine and works well, but I still like to finish the evening with a whisky or two!! I tell my self that moderation is the key, which is really an excuse. I now only drink moderately large glasses of whisky!🤪.Not really.

More seriously, I find people watching helps. As social evenings progress behaviours and comments made change. I find it interesting to observe these changes. I sometimes challenge myself to join in, even though the reason for my change is not alcohol fuelled. I appreciate this probably makes me very strange. Still, it amuses me on occasion.

[kefalonia1 in reply to Yorkshirehead]

Hi, thanks for your reply. l too like to amuse myself so l will definitely try your tactics. l cannot do moderation its all or nothing but on reflection l have had loads of advice from friends and family to wait until January 1st because we have so many social events around the next three weeks including my Birthday. l will however cut it down to a couple of very small glasses of wine on the weekend only, well under the guidelines. l always do Dry January so l will extend it to Dry 2020. !!! Take care, Sue.

[Yorkshirehead in reply to kefalonia1]

Excellent idea, Sue. Have a Great Christmas and, of course, Happy Birthday!!

[CocoChannel]

Hi Sue, yes all or nothing is normal I’m afraid. Sounds like you’re alcohol dependent as I was/am, and it’s good you’ve reached that conclusion. You’ve mainly answered your own question with the all or nothing. If you need support, speak to your GP. I’d say stop as soon as you can. Ignore those friends (what awful “advice”).

Just to give my story. Big drinker (70 units), then cut down to 40 units, which is still a deadly amount. My problem then was I’d stick to my quota but felt unsatisfied (wanted more) so I had the worst of both worlds in that I was still drinking but had urges and “withdrawal” symptoms. One day, I just quit. OK, I spoke to my GP who referred me to a counsellor (not useful) who prescribed me a drug called Campral to help reduce the cravings. The fact I’d gone to all that trouble meant it was daft to drink again. The drug, which I only took for five weeks, wasn’t that big a help to me, but it might be a big help to others.

I had urges to drink and sleep problems, but these went within weeks. That was nearly a year ago. The urges still come and go but are much weaker. An added bonus (putting it mildly) is my fatty liver cleared up completely.

By far the biggest factor was the realisation that I had to stop or I’d be a heavy drinker forever. Sounds like you’ve reached that decision so well done, ignore everyone else and quit now. Sorry, but these social events you mentioned will happen next year too and the next. I told my friends I’d become alcohol dependent and had stopped. They were fine, envious even. You’ll have the best Xmas ever.

[kefalonia1]

Hi, thanks for your reply. l don't feel l am dependant on wine because l only drink on the weekend. No wine in the week as l do the school run with my Grandsons, l never ever drink and drive. l did drink a lot more when l came out of hospital because l was very depressed and felt useless however the wine made it worse so l cut down my intake. The reason l want to stop completely in 2020 is also vanity, l don't want a wine belly and l'm only 9 stone in weight so it is more noticeable. l think from the amount you were drinking you have come such a long way, well done!!! Many people on this site have managed to stay on the wagon which gives me great hope. Take care, Sue.

[CocoChannel in reply to kefalonia1]

Thanks Sue, I thought my reply looked a bit direct towards the end, which wasn’t intentional. OK, it sounds like you’re a lighter drinker than I was (most people are 😀). If you can keep it moderate and within the 14 unit weekly limit (which is very valid), then why not stay as a moderate drinker? I certainly would if I could.

You mentioned vanity which is a very valid reason to drink sensibly. I’m sure a few glasses a week won’t give a wine belly 🙂

Thanks for the nice words. For someone like me who drinks/drank every day for years, moderation is no longer an option. It’s way way easier to quit 100%

Have a good Xmas then, but go easy 👍

[fantasyfanuk]

Great decision as it will help your health and you will feel in control. I never have drunk much and having started on Ramipril in October, I discovered that even little amounts of alcohol (half a small glass of wine) caused awful vertigo the next morning for several hours. I’ve talked to my gp and he suggests that if I want to have a drink in the evening, I should take the Ramipril that morning instead of at night. I tried this once and it worked but it is quite hard to think about whether I will want a drink in advance and then worry about whether I will have vertigo as it was so unpleasant. Over Christmas I will probably have a drink but to be honest I haven't missed the alcohol at all and wondered whether to just stop after Christmas. I don’t socialise much and my partner doesn’t drink much either so I wouldn’t be tempted all the time. Best of luck with it anyway.

[SpiritoftheFloyd]

After my heart attack at the end of December 2019, I didn't drink anything alcoholic for 6 months - stuck to the non-alcoholic varieties, which are all a bit trail and error. For lager I found Becks Blue to have a reasonable taste, and for wine, after trying some truly terrible stuff, found the Sainsbury's Alcohol Free Rose very nice to drink.

Since July I've started having the odd alcoholic drink but not very often -in fact I think I'm now starting to prefer the alcohol free stuff, plus it's nice not waking up the next day feeling garbage, and I'm quite concerned about the interaction between alcohol and my medicines

As regards timing, I'd definitely pick 1st January, oh and get some ear plugs! I've only this year realised that people repeat the same story over and over when they're plastered!

[kefalonia1 in reply to SpiritoftheFloyd]

Hi, thanks for your reply and tips. l have been the designated driver with drunk friends repeating the same story over and over again. lf l wanted a parrot l'd go to a pet shop, its very annoying. Might go to Sainsburys and get some of that wine, thanks .Sue.

[Nic25]

Hi Kefalonia1. I'm dreadful and do drink at weekends but what I've found works for me (did first four months of last year post-AVR without a drink at all) is understanding my psychology. So I use a wine glass to keep it 'special', do cordial and fizzy water to make it ditto and still give you something to taste. Or perhaps a flavoured tonic water or something? It is thinking about how you're going to 'treat' yourself but just not drink. And not cake or chocolate as substitutes!

To be honest not drinking doesn't make me feel any different - I'm not brighter, more energetic, don't notice any difference in sleep, behaviour doesn't change etc, all those things they swear by - so it is a challenge! And not drinking is boring, it's not (to my mind) as convivial as having a drink. So I do find it hard!

But at the same time I did it to lose weight and lower BP, which were two goals (although weight has crept back a bit) so it does make a difference. And there was a time when I was drinking most nights - not massive amounts but still a regular amount - which I recognised was a bad habit to be in.

In terms of Christmas, yes it is likely to be harder. But personally I found it easier rather than setting up this great "I'm going to stop on x date" cliff edge just to get cracking and get on with it. Like tonight even?!

Then maybe set yourself a treat to allow yourself, say, a drink or two on Christmas Day but only the one day or something?

As I say, for me - and I can only say what works for me - it's all about psychology - understanding your weaknesses and accepting and working around them/sidelining them rather than "beating" them in a way that is going to be sustainable for you rather than going all hairshirt and then just falling back into old ways because you're so miserable?

But I hope that ramble helps a little?

Good luck!

Nic x

[kefalonia1 in reply to Nic25]

Hi Nic, thanks for your honest reply. l think a lot of people become born again non drinkers l don't want to join that club and become a righteous bore. l have mentioned l do dry January every year with my Husband, the recycle men do the sign of the cross over our bins (they think we have died, lol). l always find the first week of Jan the hardest and ban all booze from the house. You havn't rambled, just told the facts about how you felt, and not pretended to be buzzing with health and happiness without the booze. Thanks, Sue.

[gardenlady]

Hi,

I know what you mean about not trusting yourself, (she said with a big glass of wine at her elbow at 5.30 as a reward for having had a slightly rough day). With heart failure I am advised to stick to 14 units. I have realised that I must be mistress of my own destiny, and decide what is best for me and try not to go with the flow. On the minus side, drinking gives me disturbed nights, hot flushes, weight gain and an increased risk of heart attack and stroke. What are the positives, the nice glow of 1-2 glasses which I love, . So I just need to learn to stop at 1-2 glasses?. Easy. If only. But with some self discipline I have now managed to take 3-4 days off a week, i.e. not start, then I don't have to stop. On the 3-4 days I do drink, I try to stick to 3-4 glasses, and try not to beat myself up about it. It is relaxing and makes me happy. I honestly think that this battle is a completely personal one for each of us, I wish you all the luck in the world with it and I do think January will be best it marks the transition, makes it formal, a contract with yourself if you will. Best to share your intentions and hopeful outcomes with your nearest and dearest and ask them to support you. And whether you cut down or stop completely , you are doing it for all the right reasons and you will feel better for it overall. Have a lovely Christmas!

[CocoChannel in reply to gardenlady]

Everyone really should stick to 14 units (except for people like me who became alcohol dependent so now have none 😀). I think the government should state the reasons for this limit as it sounds very arbitrary. The research over the last 20 years shows the increase in cancers such as breast, bowel and throat when that 14 unit level is exceeded. The rates go up scarily again after 28 units. It’s hard to find this information and to find it in a succinct form, but it’s a good limit for a good reason.

The “trouble” is 14 units is about one a half bottles of wine. Such a small amount over a week. I really salute people who stick to that limit. I drink anything fast whether it’s tea, coffee or whatever. That’s not a problem except it was with alcohol. No way would I stick to 14 hence I admitted defeat and quit

🙂

[kefalonia1 in reply to gardenlady]

Hi, thanks for your reply. All my friends do exactly what you do and enjoy their lives, sounds like you have the perfect balance. l have definitely decided to start January 1st its so nice to hear from all the lovely people on this site. ln the meantime l will be the driver at social events but not on my Birthday or Christmas day. Already l'm planning to buy the blue shoes l want with the money l will save!!! l have bought an expensive home breathalysing machine to check my Husband doesn't cheat in dry January, he promised if he does then l will be given £100.00 (red shoes this time,) Take care ,Sue.

[grandehorizontale]

Dear K1, I have recently been hypnotised to stop drinking at home. I live alone and realised that I had become wired to drink in the early evening. I didn't want to not raise a glass with a friend when out - but didn't want to be drinking alone. So I found a good hypnotherapist and it was very effective. I just don't think about drinking when I am at home any more. If I had wanted to stop altogether, then the hypnotherapy would have been different. Just google local hypnotherapists. What I find is that I associate drinking with the pre-dinner ritual. I find that if I eat earlier - and I am no longer hungry - that takes away the urge to drink. But of course we all have different triggers. Good luck! GH

[Bagrat]

Hi both I and OH used to drink more than average but we have both reduced. I have maybe one small glass a week!

Just a word of caution. It doesn't sound like you are in tbis category from what you say but stopping suddenly if previously drinking regularly every day to xs can be dangerous. I write this for others who may read not you. It would still be a good thing to involve your Gp or practice nurse as having someone else to support your decision always good. Also it may affect the effect of your meds. Good luck

[Andyman]

So I gave up drinking completely over 7 years ago. I still go to the pub with friends and have got used to the ramblings. I just drink sparkling water or order a pot of tea. People get used to you in the end.

My problem was I could never just have one or two drinks. I just kept drinking until it was time to go home. Drinking was completely social as I never drank at home unless someone came round.

So cutting down was not an option as if I had one I would have more. So I just stopped. Wasn't that hard. After a few years I actually discovered I could go out and have just one. But found I actually never enjoyed it the next morning and it interrupted my sleep. So now I don't bother. But sometimes I have an evening with my friends when I do. About once or twice a year.

Hardest part is when people decide to do shots. It's really hard to do shots of tea.

I do feel better for it. Can't put my finger on how but generally better. Probably because sleep is less chaotic.

[Prada47]

I deleted my answer because it wasn't really an answer to your question, I started to concentrate on the Why which I think is the answer to your question !!

[CocoChannel]

Interesting thread and shows there are many definitions of an alcohol problem.

Sue (the opening poster) sounds quite a light drinker and is probably (hopefully) within the 14 unit weekly limit. I drank between a half to one whole bottle of wine a night which doesn’t sound that much (it didn’t to me obviously) which easily meant reaching 70 units a week. That’s a massive amount, and seeing as I drank this way for around 15 years, I’m extremely lucky to have suffered no lasting health effects.

The biggest downfall for the likes of me is when ex-drinkers try to drink again in moderation. Believe me I’ve read and read and tried to find success stories about this, but there are really no moderation success stories out there. The best way is to admit defeat and run away scared 😀

Oddly enough I can cook with alcohol, drink alcohol free beer and go to the pub with hard-drinking friends, but I know I’m beaten and my drinking days are done and happy this is the case.

[Goldfish7]

Hi found it difficult to find non alcoholic wine that wasn't awful and sweet. Some fizzy whites are bearable, but I'm a red wine drinker (still the very occasional small glass seems OK with food). If you like whites I find that a decent elderflower cordial used with either fizzy or flat water heavily chilled tastes a bit like a Riesling and is a lot cheaper than non alcoholic wine that doesn't taste any more convincing.

Some Italian aperitifs/digestives are nice if you don't like sweet drinks but are inevitably hard to come by and overpriced if bought in the UK.

I drink tonic water at times as it tastes almost exactly the same as gin and tonic and cons my brain - sometimes feel a little drunk afterwards!!!.

There are some not too bad (if served cold) lagers San Miguel, Becks, etc. and ASDA sometimes has very low alcohol level cans of bitter or pale ale (I think around 2% proof) these were in their smart price lines and don't always seem available.

I used to love a Brandy on a cold winters night and sadly there is no substitute!!!!

Best of luck