Does anyone know of a place I can get info to help my kids deal with this?

[Rupes88]

Morning......I have two boys, 6 & 10......the big boy is emotionally open but my young one bottles things up and finds it hard to express how he is feeling.

They started back to school this week, big boy is fine and cracking on but the little boy is in tears every day and doesn't want to part from us. He loves school (year 2) and his mates, so this is not normal.

I had a HA three weeks ago, he has spent a lot of time with us in hospital. We are an emotionally open family and have tried to talk to the kids about it and keep the family running as best we can. We have made the school aware and will ask them for help too.

Does anyone know of a place or resources I can get info to help my kids deal with this? Any ideas....?

[jimmyq]

I am not a medical expert but I recommend lots of cuddles for both of them.

[Rupes88 in reply to jimmyq]

If anything Im squeezing too hard at the moment lol

[Calliope153]

As you say it;s into school and ask them what is available locally. Three weeks from a heart attack is really recent. Try not to let your son know that you are going in to talk about him: better if you could slip in after school when kids are not around. You think Twitter spreads news fast - try the average school for speed! He;s suffering from separation anxiety of course and most likely feels if he keeps his parents in sight then nothing bad can happen. It all feels out of control to him. When you are only small and the big people who are all powerful have difficulties then the world becomes scary. It's much safer at home (anyone recognise this feeling after your heart attack?)Families often feel they don;t need outside help but children can feel it is easier to unburden to someone not directly involved. Make certain you find support that can be ongoing - as children grow and their understanding becomes greater feelings can reappear after a long period of time and it is better for them to work through it with a trusted, already known person. The other big piece of advice is not to keep asking him how he feels and be very clear about arrangements and stick to them. e.g.If you are picking him up don;t be late. As life settles back into a routine so will he - life will be safe once again. Don;t forget the older child may be concealing his worries so as not to upset you. If you have a grandparent, aunt uncle. older cousin who is close to the children they can provide the necessary listening ear.Best wishes.

[Calliope153 in reply to Calliope153]

Should have also said take a look at the free booklet from BHF for under 11s called "My Dad's Heart Attack".

[Maisie2014]

Take them with you when you go for your daily walk. Talk about the things you see. They’ll get used to it and see you’re managing. If you’re making dietary changes ask them to help you with suggestions for meals. Don’t keep asking them how they’re doing just include them (if they want to be included).

[Rupes88]

All good avice - thank you. Hate seeing my little sausages getting caught up in this. Thanks again!

[Maisie2014]

The weird thing is when you’re on your own you’re determined to get on with it but when you see how it affects your family you crumble. I was ok in A&E for the first 9 hours because I had hubby and little sister and youngest daughter with me (albeit in shifts). Then when daylight broke everyone turned up! Daughters, their partners, sisters, nieces, nephew with his partner, grandchildren with their partners! It was embarrassing but I felt very loved. I have a very unemotional, practical family so it was a great shock. I have always been the carer, the one who turns up in the middle of the night at crises. It was humbling.

[Pinkrobin]

Hi, I have a daughter 15 school are aware of my situation, AVR scheduled for next month, so if there is a change in her performance at school they know why. As my partner's disabled, she is also recognised as a young carer, so she is able to attend a local Young Carer's group where she can talk to other kids about what's happening and be provided with any additional support or advice which is available, check with your local child services or carers uk site to see what's available in your area. Hope this helps