Post Op care advice

[Lupin62]

My husband is having open heart surgery just before Christmas. He should be home after a week I should think. My question is about how he might feel in those first weeks. I feel that I would like a really quiet Christmas and put off the family that were coming to stay. My mum who has Alzheimer's was going to come for the Christmas week, but I feel it may be too much caring for my husband as well as looking after Mum. It may be best if she remains at home with my brothers looking after her as they usually do. I feel a bit mean, but as we will already have my elderly father in law living with us, this may be too much for my husband straight after surgery. Any thoughts please?

[Dazzler142]

Hi there,

Well i had surgery 12 weeks ago,i am 45 and have bronchiectasis.i was in 8 days and to be honest the first 5 weeks are really hard.

You suffer some discomfort and pain,sleep deprevation is hard also as you don't get much in hospital.

I personally needed peace and quiet as was very tired but we are all different.

Your body goes through an awful lot during surgery,i think we all heal in our own way and time

Hope this helps slightly.

All the best for your husband

Jenny x

[skid112 Heart Star]

Hi there,

First weeks are really hard, coming to terms with the operation, coming to terms with the fact you are going to be fairly reliant on someone else and the fears and doubts about your own mortality. If you can it's better to ease into it, you will have to help a lot. Showering, he won't be able to wash his hair properly and it's effort, everything is an effort resulting in heavy breathing and exertion. Sleeplessness is to be expected,as the anaesthetic leaves his system, my sleep pattern was shocking wide awake at 2am, plenty of rest during the day.

As Jenny has said it's different for all but if you have a choice a nice quiet one as you'll both need your strength.

Best wishes

Mark

[dickielex]

I had a quadruple bypass in the run up to Christmas years ago. Sure I was tired and learnt to nap during the day. But I would have been devastated to miss out on Christmas and to have the annual event put off because of my condition. We had a great time even if I drank much less than usual and had to have a sleep in the late afternoon. Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

[Lupin62]

Thank you all for your replies. It is good to hear how you all felt post op.

[stevejb1810]

Hi, a bit late I know but I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring so to speak. Its hard to generalise here, as some people recover at a faster rate than others. That said, when he first comes home he will be quite weak (it surprised my wife just how weak I was). And it will take a lot longer to do things than you might expect - just having a shower and getting dressed can take an hour and it will be exhausting. However, with luck, that may only last a week or so. Hopefully, you will see him getting better every day, and making big strides. But, as I said, it varies from one individual to another - you have to play it by ear as it were

So, given the uncertainties associated with your husband's recovery, my advice would be to keep Christmas as quiet as you can - have visitors by all means, but only for a short time (couple hours max). Hard though it might be, don't add your mother to what you already have on your plate (straws and camels backs spring to mind). Your husband will need a lot of looking after in the short term. You will get tired - very tired and you already have an elderly father in law to cope with as well. Its not being mean, but this is definitely a time where you have to draw a line. You have to look after yourself as well as the others in your household - don't add to that. I'm sure your brothers will understand completely.

Good luck

Steve

[Lupin62 in reply to stevejb1810]

Thank you Steve. I have arranged for my brothers to have mum, so that is good. Father in law should be ok, but he is bound to be concerned about his son. My adult children and partners were coming for Christmas lunch, but now I will cancel that and just have them pop in to visit. Thanks for your advice.

[JJL15]

Hi, I remember after having my AVR via open heart surgery, the first few weeks was a struggle and I was quite sleepy during the days and awake at night. I personally think a quiet Christmas is a good idea, whilst he recovers and then next Christmas go all out and make up for it it’s tough when you first get home adjusting to Home life and doing the simplest things you can’t, I remember not being able to flush the toilet or wash my hair or get dressed easily by myself. Take each day at it comes and wish him a speedy recovery

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

No one can really predict how he will feel. One person I spoke to became very depressed afterwards whereas a friend although tired and battered was so happy to get a second chance of life he followed his rehab to the letter and was working part-time (from home) after eight weeks. We are all different and that is what makes us interesting. Expect the worse and hope for the best!