I am so overwhelmed with exhaustion right now I feel like I have hit a complete road block-- a thick, super heavy brick wall to be exact-- and it feels as though this brick wall is closing in on me very, very quickly.
I know that this overwhelming sense of exhaustion is YOU trying to take over my poor, weak body-- I know that you are trying to yet again beat me down.
I am trying my best to not let you win, but right now, at this very moment, it feels as though just giving in and letting you win is my best and easiest option...
....but....there is something inside me, something that is deep inside my body and soul (I am not yet sure exactly what this something is-- but it is definitely something that so much stronger and tougher than you are-- it is certainly something that is much more stronger, courageous, and patient than I ever could be...) that will just never, ever give into your undeserved cruelty and punishment.
At these moments when I feel completely beaten down and diminished to nothing, and feel that there is just absolutely nothing left in me to give-- this something that exists in me always manages to kick in at just the right times and helps pull me through.
So.... for now, at this moment in time, I can gladly say to you, Behcet's, that you have lost yet another battle-- and somehow, someway, even in my weakened state of being, I have stilll managed to beat you down!
I can say that I now feel somewhat more empowered by my latest victory. I have pulled through another Behcet's attack, and even though I am still with very little energy and cannot feel it as of yet, I know that I am now stronger than I was just moments earlier-- even if its just a little bit!
Unfortunately, I know that this is not the last time that I will be fighting you-- because you will always be there, hiding out, just waiting to attack my body once again.
It is safe to say that this extra bit of strength that I gain from each battle with you is well deserved because your greatest strength is to try to deplete me of nearly everything I have (and, sadly I can also say that you can give yourself a tiny pat on your back because you have taken away a lot of what I've worked so hard to gain)....but ....something that you continuously forget is that my greatest strength is to NEVER give into you...
See you again soon Behcet's Disease,