Looking for some support

Hi everybody I'm looking after my mum who has bowel cancer and who has been told recently that she would not survive surgery to remove it. She was told that this tends to grow more slowly in older people and has been given a next appointment in August. I know she is terminally ill and I'm trying to handle this and remain strong but it is not easy, i suppose I'm looking for some support and understanding to help me through this difficult time.

3 Replies

  • so sorry to hear this . Must be so gutting to have this diagnosis and then not be able to follow through with surgery . Everything I have read ( truth about cancer series available online if you sign up .. They do free runs from time to time) all talk about natures way if Shrinking the tumours . Raspberries blueberries and black berries can help . I also have had the diagnosis and then the surgery but my cancer has gone to other sites so I have a different treatment as I'm past surgery now . The prof I saw at the Royal free hospital told me to go on Turmeric capsules which I get from my health food shop . I had read about this do I was more than willing to go ahead and listen to this world renowned specialist . Because of other symptoms associated with this I am about to go and see a herbalist too to get some help with the constant diarroeh . Although your mum hadn't had the surgery take heart that the surgery in itself gives you absolutely shocking symptoms that in her frail state she may not be able to cope with physically or mentally . I hope this gives you a bit of peace knowing that at least your mum can live out her days without the nasty affects of surgery . This is no consolation to losing your mum but as my friends tell me , at least you know what's she's got and that your time together is very precious . I know so keep yourself strong she will need you to be able to cope with what's ahead . Don't be scared about asking for help . Seriously people are only to happy to help ..,really . I was amazed at FB friends who rallied forth after we as a family went through a shocking time recently . My thoughts are with you .. Please stay in touch . There's no point discussing treatments but I'll look for you thoughts . You don't have to be strong all the time , let it out but you stay healthy too ... Much love Steph xx

  • Thanks for the reply Steph, I appreciate it very much it can be a lonely experience, and so any support can be very welcome. There have been developments since I wrote my opening message and this has been quite distressing. My mum's cancer has broken into her bladder and she is in hospital awaiting an operation to separate the bowel from the small intestine and create a stomer which hopefully will ease her distress and make her more comfortable. This apparently will take around 35 minutes so she won't be under for long. Sorry to hear of your own situation this dreadful disease seems to be so common now that there can't be many people who haven't been touched by it, stay with us for as long as you can xx

  • Oh golly . However that stoma will really help your mum live A better quality of life . Don't let her come out until she's totally ok with the changing of the bag etc. the stoma nurse I had in Portsmouth I have to say we're totally over stretched , good but you didn't see them enough . So I came out not fully knowing what I was going and was back in Poole hospital almost straight away . The stoma nurses there were amazing . So it's a bit of s lottery but just be adamant if your mum can't do it .. Keep her there until she can sort it properly . Having said that there are fabulous nurses travelling the county looking after people with stomas and people who need that practical help . Make sure her bag which ever type fits her well too . She'll have plenty of products to help her too and the Bowel and Zbladder advisory service are excellent . I have loads if nappies delivered all the time . ( tena !! Can't quite believe all this !! ) but to start with my doc even though he's brilliant didn't know I got those under t he NHS . So lots of help readily available to give your mum better quality of life . On a practical note . See Macmillan nurses as I have seen one up in Royal free hospital and I'm getting attendance allowance and think my hubby will even get carers benefit . It all helps as he has to do all the stuff I can't now and the attendance allowance isnt means tested either . Best of luck and give your mum my regards too . Xx