Reacting to life

[Red446]

I'm usually a very positive and actually a happy person but i srtugle to control my emotions the right way. In a sence if im angry i could cry and be sad or cry because of something very nice being said to me and then become very angry straight after. Feel like I always had it and talked to a health proffessional twice and it always feels weird to speak to them as if i shouldn't be telling anyone about this. Like my life is great i think, it just feels very odd to react to certain things.

[saj01]

Hi I read your post and smiled- It sounds a bit like me! Each and every one of us have a 'public face', ... the happy smiling person that breezes through life. Often , that persona can be just a mask which hides the real person inside. What you seem to be saying is for some reason you feel it is wrong to admit to having a 'softer side'. But it's normal. If you were devoid of all emotion you would be cold and heartless.

Like you, I do get angry sometimes and often end up having a good cry afterwards, but that's because losing my temper doesn't usually solve anything.... it just ends up causing bad feelings between people.

In the mean time.. don't beat yourself up over it. there's nothing odd about talking to someone about it and it's not odd to shed a tear when someone does something nice for you. Perhaps that you get angry with yourself afterwards, is you see it as a sign of weakness? Why is that?

You don't say if the person you've spoken with about it has suggested anything, like any courses to go on etc or avoidance techniques or even assertiveness training? It obviously bothers you, so do take advantage of anything they might offer.

Try not to worry.

[toastkid]

You're not broken for having emotions like this and you are CERTAINLY not wrong for speaking to a doctor if you're concerned.

Crying when you're angry, or when someone is kind to you, that's actually really normal - if you become angry after this, it could be that you're angry at yourself for crying but I promise you that it's okay. That being said, there is no "right way" to be emotive because we're all very different people and we react differently to things. What I find funny, you might find boring or even offensive! What makes you happy might be something I'm not interested in. We might find that something moves us, but in different ways and for different reasons.

I have BPD, I cry at basically everything that doesn't make me angry, and also everything that does. And sometimes I become blindly angry at stupid things. I have a really hard time with emotional regulation. I'm learning to accept that part of me. Acceptance means that I can also take steps to learning to regulate and turn things like my anger into something productive - rather than being aggressive and breaking things (and inadvertently injuring myself by hitting walls and such) I am learning to turn it into something helpful.

It's really hard, but I'm learning that it's not a sign that I am broken or bad or wrong for having those feelings. It's okay. You are not broken either - you might just need a little bit of help to see this and to process and understand your emotions and why you have them. Talking to a health professional is really brave of you, all too often we get told that our emotional problems are not as bad or not worth talking about but they are.

Also, I don't know where you are, but it might be worth self-referring to psychological well-being services, as it sounds like you would benefit from their support. You sound like you want more support, and that is a really good thing. Please, do not beat yourself up for having concerns about your emotional well-being - it takes a lot of courage to acknowledge when you think something is amiss with your emotions.