Help; I don't know what to do :(: I'm 27 and have just... - BASHH


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Help; I don't know what to do :(

Jrb89 profile image

I'm 27 and have just been diagnosed with Genital Herpes. To say I'm devastated is an understatement! All I've done is cry since I found out. Im currently on day 3 of 5 of antibiotics beginning with A (don't seem to be doing much) don't know what to do and and feel I can't cope with this; I'm worried for my future relationships and pretty much feel like I don't have a future and my life is over; Im too ashamed to talk to anyone about this :(

16 Replies
kerryblue profile image

Hi there, I am sorry you are feeling so upset. Genital herpes are very common, you certainly are not alone. Remember they are the same as the cold sore virus, so nothing to feel ashamed about. There is no reason why you can't have regular relationships. My advice is to always use condoms when you start a relationship anyway, and then if you are comfortable in that relationship and you feel that you are able to discuss with your partner then do. don't beat yourself up about this, it's not worth it. Have a look at the herpes society website, very good.

The acyclovir you have been given will not make the virus go away, it will just shorten the length of the attack and hopefully make it less painful. Likely that in the future outbreaks may be less painful, or you may not get any more!

Try not to worry about it, you are going to be fine. go to your local GUM clinic if you want to chat further.

Hey jrb89, im also 27 and have just been tested for herpes, I first came out a couple months ago in a red angry looking spot down there just the 1 tho i thought it was a reaction to thrush cream id been using days previously. I went to see my gp who had a look and said it looks very much like herpes and tested me for it but my results never came back so i thought cant be herpes or id have heard back either way...well, they came back again last month so doc re tested and im still awaiting any results lol I've always been so careful in the past too :( i felt ashamed and still do if im being honest but i cant change it, whats done is done the more i stress over it the more frequent i suffer :( hope your ok tho x

Jrb89 profile image
Jrb89 in reply to micks89

Hey Mick... I'm also still waiting for my results but the Nurse was very clear in her diagnosis when examining me, it started as an angry looking spot and it hurts; I'm goin back to the gum clinic tmrw for more antibiotics as I don't feel it's getting any better, I feel totally alone and angry too, angry at myself for being so stupid and angry at the guy who I believe may have passed it onto me, although I will never be sure if he gave it to me or if I gave it to him. Your are right though what's done is done. There is nothing we can do. X thank you I hope your ok too x

Could you please advise me on this herbal medication you've tried and tested that worked? I know everything works different for different people but I can't keep running back to my gp every time i have an outbreak lol id just feel stupid would much prefer to buy it over he counter. Thank you x

Jrb89 profile image
Jrb89 in reply to micks89

FYI I believe these are money making scams :(

Im exactly the same! Hate myself and i have an idea who i got it from, although it wasn't visible on him (would never have gone near if it was) we was in a relationship and he cheated on me and the girl he did the dirty with had it, (those were the rumours at that time) just makes so much sense. I've moved out of the town he lives in which is good coz i wont have to bump into him and refrain myself from smacking him ha ha. Im ok im getting used to the fact i may have it. Its so painful to walk and ive got a young daughter too so i feel even worse that i could of been so stupid x

Thank you hun x

Valereee profile image
Valereee in reply to micks89

I'd suggest you forget and ignore this poster. They are feeding off others fears and there is no herbal cure, otherwise they would have shared the information for anyone to see. This is just a way to draw you in and you will only be relieved of your money!

micks89 profile image
micks89 in reply to Valereee

Thank you 👍🏻 does it eventually burn itself out over time? X

Valereee profile image
Valereee in reply to micks89

I would expect your symptoms to reduce. They say that your first outbreak is generally the worst and I can agree.

Learn to recognise the tell tale tingle and always have acyclovir on hand to take as soon as you have an outbreak as they will help to reduce the time that the virus is active. It helps that it tends to happen in the same place.

Try not to get too wound up, it's a condition like any other. We add the stigma. I bet you know loads of people that get facial cold sores and we don't treat them as lepers.

I caught herpes over 20 years ago and my outbreaks can be counted on one hand! So hopefully that will help you to know that it's not the end of the world. Good luck everyone.

Well my gp has just phoned me with the results they were positive :( grr hit me hard i guess id always hoped it would be something else and not what it is. I feel so disgusted with myself!! What treatments are the most effective without being majorly expensive? Does anyone know thanks x

Valereee profile image
Valereee in reply to micks89

Try googling oil for herpes. There are many suggestions that could help, both topical and orally.

If you caught a cold, you wouldn't beat yourself up about catching it and this is the same. Although no cure, it can be managed without a huge impact on your day to day life. If you stress yourself out, you can make yourself more prone to outbreaks, so do your research and find what helps and works best for you x

Jrb89 profile image
Jrb89 in reply to micks89

I too was hoping it was something else but I suppose all we can do is accept it and like everyone says learn to tell the signs to avoid an outbreak or at least minimise it... it got too much for me at work on Monday and a colleague asked what was up, I burst into tears and told her, she said it's not a big deal and to calm down, although it's not curable it's manage-able... I feel a lot more positive since speaking to someone in person... I am going back to the clinic today for more antibiotics as mine hasn't yet gone although today is the first day I am not in pain... onwards and upwards... We can get through this starting with positive thoughts 😊x

Lealo29 profile image
Lealo29 in reply to micks89

Lysine tablets are taken by coldsore sufferes, perhaps worth a try when you feel i coming on. Dont beat yourself up though.

Google says cotton wool and salt water to clean and obviously not using bubble baths and fragrance soaps etc and also says to dry with a hairdryer 😂😂 can't see myself in that position but you know haha. My partner knows hes cool with it so that's a big relief we've been together two years tho so suppose he was always guna be ok about it from when i first got tested about 2 months ago I've always kept him in the loop. I don't think im ready to tell anyone else tho incase they judge. Im guna google treatments and stuff today to see what helps when there's an outbreak. I think stress triggers mine but its hard not to stress when my daughters dad is constantly on my case all the time So i think il have to learn to channel my stress levels where hes concerned. Thanks for the tips and advice ladies xx

Educate yourself. Take care of yourself. Avoid the stress of the sun during summer days. Take lysine daily. Get a tube of prescription Zovirax, expensive but will last years. During a relapse put the cream on with the first tingle, before there is even a sore, to decrease and sometimes eliminate the out break, ask for it now. It is sold over the counter in the UK but not the US or Canada. Antibiotics are to avoid a secondary bacterial infection, the herpes are a virus and have no cure. Take good care of yourself, it is quite manageable.

Now honesty. You must tell a sexual partner in advance. It will be so very hard. Explain that the reason you are telling them is so that you can have an open and honest relationship. At the first itch or twitch even before a bump tell your partner you would like to pause for a bit and see if you are having an outbreak. If yes, stop sex for 2 weeks. If you are honest you can have a full and rich relationship and most importantly never do to someone what was done to you. You never have to pass them on with this type of honesty. Advice is to know them a bit before you tell them, just don’t blurt it out during last call.

The first outbreak is the worst. You can go months, years, or even never have another outbreak but you will ALWAYS have the dormant virus. The longer you have it the lest frequent they seem to happen. You must read on how to care for yourself to avoid outbreaks.

I can honestly tell you that you can have rich relationships, children, a long life after diagnosis and need never pass it on. It is so so so very manageable. Everyone starts just like you. You’ve got this. It is just a blip.

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