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Advice on breaking the news to a partner, that I have Herpes HSV-2


I am in my early 30s, have had hsv-2 for 2 and a half years now. Like alot of posts I have seen on here, my primary episode was horrendous. Something I do not wish for anyone.

Although I have adapted to deal with the psychological effects of living with hsv-2, I have had only 1 relationship since, last year.

When the time came to tell my partner I have Hsv-2, I was 'bricking it'! I felt ashamed, let down etc that I had contracted this virus and thought "who would want to be with me now!?!?". I prepared for the worst.....her reaction was not what I expected. She was very understanding and thoughtful. I was shocked, and extremely relieved!! A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. After a lengthly chat, I gave her some herpes details once I told her exactly what it was, what medication I have to take etc etc, and said I dont mind if she wanted to talk to one of her close friends about it, just to please not let it go any further.

Our relationship carried on for a couple months, all was fine and we were very happy. Until suddenly she ended it, for no apparent reason.

I have not made any particular effort with anyone who I have met since, I think because I am afriad of going through the whole process again and letting someone else know I have hsv-2.... I can not see any other reason why my ex would have left, except I have hsv-2...

I ask if anyone can help, is there any advice on the best way to approach a potential new partner in how to let them know I have hsv-2? I am sure alot of other people would like to know this also.....

Hope to hear some thoughts soon,

Many thanks

2 Replies

When I told my boyfriend I waited for a while to make sure we were comfortable with each other and so I could guage his reaction, and before anything happened between us I told him I had something to tell him. I told him straight up, made sure I was prepared with all the facts etc... he was so understanding. He went away and did his own research on it, and I reassured him that I would pay close attention to myself so I could tell if I was going to have an outbreak and I could minimise the risk of passing it on to him. All is not lost... point out you probably wouldn't bother mentioning it in advance if you had a cold sore... so what's the difference? I'll answer that.. there is none.


First of all, i think you are very respectful for wanting to tell any future partners, because i reckon lots wouldn't even do that. Secondly, although my issues aren't the same as yours, i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now, if someone loves you, they love you regardless, although he has similar issues to me and more issues on top, i love him too and accept the situation as it is. There will always be shallow people out there, you just have to do the decent thing, what i would say, is tell someone early on into the relationship, otherwise you could fall head over heels and be dumped the next day


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