Scared my boyfriend doesn't want to be with me anymore

Hi I've just been diagnosed with herpes and last night I told, my boyfriend about it, obviously he was freaked out but he's bearly spoken to me and keeps shutting me out. He thinks he might have it too and I feel that if he does he's not going to want to be with me anymore, because I've given it to him. Not really sure what to do and it's making me so anxious.

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  • Really sorry to hear you have Herpes Evelyn. If your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you any more, then he isn't worth losing any sleep over. There will be another man out there who will love you much more, you just need to find him. I would sit him down, ask him the question, and take it from there. But if he doesn't want to carry on, move on. Best of luck

  • Thank you so much for that , he wants to take a break cause hes not sure how he feels. so im thinking he may not be worth the effort.

  • Yes Evelyn, put it down to experience and move on. Doesn't seem worth wasting any time on, good luck to you, hope everything works out for you in the future

  • I think I have herpes. I think I got it from a bad sexual experience in my teens. However I'm too afraid to get tested because if it comes back positive (which I'm 90% sure it will) how am I supposed to tell my boyfriend of 4 years? It would break our relationship. It would break me.

  • Hey there :)

    Firstly, it's important that you get yourself tested. The priority here needs to be your health and treatment, and advice from your doctor or planning clinic about how to manage herpes when you're in a sexual relationship. This is vital and the information you get from your healthcare providers will help you explain to your partner.

    Herpes is a big scary buzzword, people immediately think about how it's both contagious and incurable. The nature of your relationship is important. See you both open and honest? Do you talk things through when there's a problem? Does he know about the experience you believe you've contracted the virus from?

    You will need to talk to him about it, and use a barrier method of birth control until you know one way or another. Ideally, you could explain to him why you think you may have it and that you're incredibly nervous of getting tested. Go get tested together for moral support and discuss treatment options.

    Expect him to withdraw a little. Its a big deal. If he doesn't want to talk then give him space, with an open invite to talk to you when he's ready. Let him know that you had no idea and why you started having suspicions. Put it all in a letter and sit with him while he reads it if you feel you won't get everything out that you need to tell him.

    This is an issue that cannot be hidden from, and communication has to be the key.

    Good luck and good health.

    -Moxie

  • Don't let somebody be your priority

    When you're just their option.

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