Scared to tell my new partner about my herpers!

I'm 20 years old and I believe I got herpers at the the age of 18 :( a ex boyfriend of mines gave me the virus and it's been hell every since. I'm a very pretty lady with a lot going for myself I just recently got into a close friendship with a young men and I really like him we've been talking for about 4 months a now and ita great but the fact I have this virus kills me in the inside! I don't know how to tell him I really want to tell him because he will take the world off my shoulders but I can't! I don't know how to face this problem I haven't told anyone beside my doctors I'm scared on what his reaction will be I don't do go with rejection at all! I just wanted to vent let this out I've been holding it in for a very loooong time and I really need some help I know it's to late to tell him do to the fact we already had sex but I didn't have any out breaks :( & I really wanted a child! Help me

2 Replies

  • First thing - your 20. Do you really want a child right now? With someone you're not in a relationship with?

    With regard to the herpes go on, gives you loads of advice and tips about how to broach the subject.

    And don't sweat it, most people have herpes anyway without even knowing it. It's just like a cold sore but it's just not on your face, it doesn't do anything it's just a bit annoying. I just see it as a skin condition like eczema or something.

    No one stigmatises thrush so why do they with herpes? They're about as useless as each other. That website will help to put your mind at rest

  • You are not alone , many people struggle with a herpes diagnosis. I would advise you book an appointment to see a health adviser at your local sexual health service as they can guide and support you through this process. Do you know which type you have? Remember it is only a skin virus the same as a cold sore just on a private location.herpes can be type 1 or 2 on your mouth or vagina. If you have not had an episode since your first then you may not shed the virus often. You shed the virus without symptoms as often as you do with. So if you have 2 episodes a year with symptoms , you will have 2 episodes you are not aware of. Telling your partner reduces transmission by 50%, condoms 50%, suppressive ( taking tablets twice a day) 75%. Remember if he has ever had a cold sore he has herpes too. If he has a different type he could also pass that to you. Hope that doesn't sound too scary. Get some support as it would be a shame to let this affect your relationship. Hope that helped

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