PDA Is Kicking My Rear/Need Help: I am a 5... - Autism Support

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PDA Is Kicking My Rear/Need Help

MorningDanceTrece profile image

I am a 58 year old woman living in a one-bedroom apartment with two cats who has known that I am an autistic person with ADHD for 3 years.

Pathological Demand Avoidance is wreaking Havoc in my life.

I'm looking for commiseration, feedback, ideas to fight it and conquer it, and skills / coping mechanisms / tools.

Somethings are exponentially more difficult than others like washing dishes.

I have a huge huge huge block and I don't know how to get over it but I desperately need to.

TIA

POSTSCRIPT: I have already discovered the tool of Habit Stacking which is doing one thing extra every time I get up to do something else and breaking things down into tiny little steps.

I'm still not getting those stupid dishes done. 😬😤😿

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MorningDanceTrece profile image
MorningDanceTrece
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4 Replies
Starlet7 profile image
Starlet7

I am the same, the only difference being washing dishes is the only daily task that isn't exponentially difficult for me. It's a shame that you live in the USA and I live in the UK otherwise I would happily offer to wash-up your dishes, perhaps in exchange for you clearing my overflowing email inbox.

MorningDanceTrece profile image
MorningDanceTrece in reply toStarlet7

Wow! I'm awesome at working on emails. It really is too bad we couldn't switch 😿

I struggle with a number of other things but the dishes seems to be the biggest bugaboo and it's also the one that's the most important because of cleanliness factors.

🕊️

Starlet7 profile image
Starlet7 in reply toMorningDanceTrece

I struggle with an overflowing email box. I sign up for everything, and then feel wierdly guilty or disloyal about deleting the newsletters or unsubscribing from them. (Even if I don't have any particular fondness or attachment to that particular company). Whereas, I am sure you would just be able to delete and unsubscribe with ease because the emails would hold no significance for you!🙂

Strangely, I find it much easier and enjoyable to wash dishes than putting them in the dishwasher. Loading and unloading a dishwasher is exponentially difficult for me. I guess I like being able to be nosey and look out the window and see what is going on the cul-de-sac. (Spoiler alert, not a lot)! 😆

Generally, I tend to be a rather messy person, but I get satisfaction from making the cutlery (especially the tea-spoons) and glassware shine.

I also find detangling wool extremely therapeutic whereas I know for other people untangling wool would be a complete nightmare. One of my Sister's loves filling in tax returns, and is completely bamboozled as to why I don't share the same joy! I also know somebody who *really* loves reading pages and pages of legal small print! My Sister found someone who really wanted real-life practise at mending her in-need of repairs car.

So in the same way that 'one man's trash is another man's treasure', I guess the same applies to daily tasks...tax-return Sister also loves to iron everything, whereas I think I can count on one hand how many items I have ironed in my life!

Apologies for this long reply, I had sat down with all good intentions of sorting out my in-box and blitzing those emails. 😆

MorningDanceTrece profile image
MorningDanceTrece in reply toStarlet7

Not only do I not mind the long response I appreciate it. I enjoyed reading it 🤗

I don't know if I would Blitz through emails because I end up reading them and going down rabbit trails but I would eventually get through it.

One thing I learned whether it's cleaning out emails or cleaning out boxes in the apartment is that I have to be ruthless.

I wish I had a dishwasher that would make my life so much easier just throw those bad boys right in there and turn it on 🤪

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