PDA Is Kicking My Rear/Need Help

[MorningDanceTrece]

I am a 58 year old woman living in a one-bedroom apartment with two cats who has known that I am an autistic person with ADHD for 3 years.

Pathological Demand Avoidance is wreaking Havoc in my life.

I'm looking for commiseration, feedback, ideas to fight it and conquer it, and skills / coping mechanisms / tools.

Somethings are exponentially more difficult than others like washing dishes.

I have a huge huge huge block and I don't know how to get over it but I desperately need to.

TIA

POSTSCRIPT: I have already discovered the tool of Habit Stacking which is doing one thing extra every time I get up to do something else and breaking things down into tiny little steps.

I'm still not getting those stupid dishes done. 😬😤😿

[Starlet7]

I am the same, the only difference being washing dishes is the only daily task that isn't exponentially difficult for me. It's a shame that you live in the USA and I live in the UK otherwise I would happily offer to wash-up your dishes, perhaps in exchange for you clearing my overflowing email inbox.

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Starlet7]

Wow! I'm awesome at working on emails. It really is too bad we couldn't switch 😿

I struggle with a number of other things but the dishes seems to be the biggest bugaboo and it's also the one that's the most important because of cleanliness factors.

🕊️

[Starlet7 in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

I struggle with an overflowing email box. I sign up for everything, and then feel wierdly guilty or disloyal about deleting the newsletters or unsubscribing from them. (Even if I don't have any particular fondness or attachment to that particular company). Whereas, I am sure you would just be able to delete and unsubscribe with ease because the emails would hold no significance for you!🙂

Strangely, I find it much easier and enjoyable to wash dishes than putting them in the dishwasher. Loading and unloading a dishwasher is exponentially difficult for me. I guess I like being able to be nosey and look out the window and see what is going on the cul-de-sac. (Spoiler alert, not a lot)! 😆

Generally, I tend to be a rather messy person, but I get satisfaction from making the cutlery (especially the tea-spoons) and glassware shine.

I also find detangling wool extremely therapeutic whereas I know for other people untangling wool would be a complete nightmare. One of my Sister's loves filling in tax returns, and is completely bamboozled as to why I don't share the same joy! I also know somebody who *really* loves reading pages and pages of legal small print! My Sister found someone who really wanted real-life practise at mending her in-need of repairs car.

So in the same way that 'one man's trash is another man's treasure', I guess the same applies to daily tasks...tax-return Sister also loves to iron everything, whereas I think I can count on one hand how many items I have ironed in my life!

Apologies for this long reply, I had sat down with all good intentions of sorting out my in-box and blitzing those emails. 😆

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to Starlet7]

Not only do I not mind the long response I appreciate it. I enjoyed reading it 🤗

I don't know if I would Blitz through emails because I end up reading them and going down rabbit trails but I would eventually get through it.

One thing I learned whether it's cleaning out emails or cleaning out boxes in the apartment is that I have to be ruthless.

I wish I had a dishwasher that would make my life so much easier just throw those bad boys right in there and turn it on 🤪