Is it autism

I have a 4 year old and I am unsure as to whether or not I should go to the GP. For about 2 years now I have questioned whether he may be on the autistic spectrum. I would say if he was it would be mild as he has reached all developmental milestones. However there are certain traits that make me think that there may be something going on. He has only just started school and the teachers have said they do have some concern for him but want to wait until the next term to see how he progresses.

The things that raises alarm bells with me and I know that every child is different. But these are some things that ring alarm bells for me....

He goes through obsessions. He was obsessed and still is obsessed with hoovers.

He is very sensitive to noise. He asks what that noise is a lot.

His teacher has said he doesn't really play with other children. He is often in his own world at school. He interacts fine with his brother.

He doesnt really enjoy social events like birthday party's. He's fine at soft play. He gets upset when you sing happy birthday at party's.

He gets easily frustrated.

There are other things but that is a quick run through.

[Snowgirl555]

I would definitely go, trust your instincts, you know him best. If he is on the spectrum then the earlier he gets into help the better, and you are the only one who can speak up for him. I'm waiting on my 6 yr old being assessed, and the waiting list here in Scotland is 18 months. We postponed going on the waiting list to see how he settled in school, so now we are months behind where we could have been. Luckily his case is mild (though it really affects him socially) and we are lucky as his school is very supportive. Good luck with everything.

[Sooz68]

I would definitely speak to someone. The SENCO in school or your GP and push for an assessment. The waiting times are shocking and so the earlier you make some noise and be pushy the better. The school saying they want to wait until next term is all well and good but they see him for a few hours a day, you live with him and your gut instincts as a parent are frequently correct. Time is of the essence, so don’t be made to wait.

I wasn’t diagnosed with Asperger’s until I was 47 but I had many of the traits you describe in your son. I was a very advanced child, developmental milestones are reached with high functioning autism, in fact children are often noticeably more advanced - I could do proper jigsaws at the age of 2, and of course my mum was pleased with her bright child. Unfortunately school was hell when I got to 11 because senior school is so noisy, so smelly, just too much for so many children with autism, and rather than end up at Oxford as my headmaster thought I would I pretty much dropped out because I couldn’t cope.

There’s more pressure on children at a younger age now and many more audio and visual triggers than there were in the 1970s so not coping can come sooner. Trust your judgement and don’t be fobbed off, support is the key to success for a child with ASD and the younger the better.

Best wishes x

[Hidden in reply to Sooz68]

Thank you for your reply.

I will certainly get the ball rolling. I wouldnt say that he is advanced in his milestones. I think in some milestones like gross motor skills he was a little behind other children of his own age. Also with speech his nursery had concerns at one point but then I never had any worries at home with his speech. I don't think he is a confident boy and it's quite sensitive. He definitely struggles with his emotions. Today he got upset when he couldn't go in the car through a specific door. Just little things that most people wouldn't think about. I feel bad because I don't want to compare but I do often find myself comparing to younger brother who obviously doesn't show any signs that my other son does.

[Sooz68 in reply to Hidden]

Hi,

Not all children with autism will meet their milestones but others will exceed them so it’s not a good indicator and yet they tell us to watch for things like that - sorry that was the point I was trying to make (badly). I was a hyper-sensitive child, the tiniest, silliest (to most people) things would upset me, and I’m still trying to cope with that all these years later. Don’t feel bad for comparing him with his brother, if my mother had compared me with mine she would have noticed that while we were both bright kids one of us was struggling to cope with a lot of things while the other just got on with it and made lots of friends (and kept them, something I found so hard). We all compare our children anyway even if we try not to, mine are adults and I still find myself comparing them 😉

You’ve spotted things that concern you and you do know best.

Best wishes x

[Sharon201]

There sooner you go to GP the better, there is a long waiting list and getting a diagnoses will help with his educational needs and will help with the right people around him, he will be able to understand the social interactions around him (maybe) but you can help him understand he is different and that is okay.

Hope this helps. Find a support group for yourself and your child as these can offer help and let you know you are doing a great job and yes, there are ups and downs but also can be fun.

[Frostie2560]

My son is very similar. He is 8 and was diagnosed three days ago. Funfairs parties, singing to him or lots of people giving him any attention, all met with unease and anxieties. Yet at home a very different child, eye contact with us and a happy child who seemed content. The spectrum is so vast!.

We have a very supportive primary school in Newcastle, this is where our referral took place. It’s taken a while for the diagnosis but we’ve had all the support from the school during the process and assessments, if your school are doing this for you too then this is fantastic.

Seek Doctors advice, like someone else mentioned, you know your child🙂