Unsupported Autism/ADHD child protection

[Stace268]

Stace26812 minutes ago•0 Replies

Hello,

I have a difficult situation I was in an abusive relationship for about a year and the harassment and intimidation has carried on for over 10 years.

My son has been diagnosed with autism and is awaiting ADHD assessment though the school, GP, Single Point of advice, peadtrician all made it extremely difficult to get a referral to the CHAMHS clinic as I believe they did not want to recognise it and or treat it because of either complexities with my sons health or deterring applying for ECHP.

Due to the lack of support and abuse from Ex partner I have developed PTSD and the care in need plan was not being carried out as me and peadiatrics agreed to escalate the process due to my anxiety and difficulty with my sons behaviour (not to mention how unfair it is on him) now my ex partner is trying to take custody of my son saying I am an unfit mother because I have lost my tether and shouted at my son in school and because on several occasions I had to push for tests which discovered my son is anemic and that he had a raised TSH ( I am hypothyroid) I have been since my early twenties and also had anemia as a child. None of the professionals took me seriously even when I said my son getting continuously dizzy pale and out of breath. He now has intermittent chest pains but they deny any thyoid problem as each tests were not done under the right conditions only one TSH was raised though I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism years ago. There are also heart problems in my family.

So because I have argued my concerns with health professionals and the PTSD and slow unsupported/untreated health problems of me and my son they are putting me forward for a child protection plan even though I was not given any early help or any strategies given on the child in need plan.

This seems incredibly unfair to me and has anyone else experienced this?

Many thanks

[Bee-bop]

Hi Stace268,

I know it is easier said than done but, try not to worry about this because it won't make things any better. Having child protection, do you mean "team around the child"? We had this put in place after my ex partner put our autistic daughter in a headlock and surprise, surprise, she didn't want to see him. Child protection/social services closed the case without even seeing her, I was extremely frustrated but, family services, counselling, CAMHS became involved but, he was still allowed to see her so, I think you shouting would not lead to your son's removal from you. What I would say is for you to get yourself some support ASAP. Get some counselling and/or relaxation as it sounds like your anxiety is high about what is happening right now and you need to stay focused on what you want for yourself and your son. in regards the PTSD, I also had this but, from a car crash and had something called EMDR which is helpful. You can check if there are any domestic abuse charities that provide support also.

It can be really frustrating when you can see things and you feel others cant as with the possible thyroid and anaemia issues but, you can keep a log of what is happening. By professionals do you mean your Dr? You can ask for a second opinion if so. Also, unfortunately, anxiety can also cause dizziness, chest pains etc so see if there are times when he's doing ok.

Unfortunately, CAMHS is extremely un prepared for the volume of people needing its services and the amount of referrals for autism/adhd assessments. That does not mean that they cannot offer support. Did they give you a pack explaining Autism and any local help? Some areas have help for carers, some have local groups for children to get involved in. Where my sister lives, she goes to a carers group once a week (long story, she has guardianship of her grandson with attachment issues and possible adhd) which has been really good for her.

Are you in family court with your ex at the moment? As you say he is wanting custody. My ex did this also, I was extremely shocked and appalled by what he tried to say and very anxious that it could be believed but, the judge threw it out. Being around family court I have learned you have to stay as calm as you can. At the end of the day they want both parents involved in a child's upbringing, rightly or wrongly. For this reason, you need to show that you are not an unfit mother, loosing it and shouting was done due to circumstances at the time and how your actions are from you wanting what is best for you and your child.

[Stace268 in reply to Bee-bop]

I'm not sure what it means it said the LA applying for child protection because they think my anxiety around untreated/undiagnosed health difficulties is causing my son emotional harm, they going to have a conference with all the professionals there probably saying why he needs it but the bottom line is no ones actually addressed the dizziness and why he gets ill so often which is why the LA also want to prosecute me for taking him off school for being ill? It's crazy! His ADHD is not diagnosed or treated yet and no one would help refer or diagnose him so we've been struggling he is now on the pathway for ADHD diagnosis but no one wants to look at why he gets ill n run down a lot and why he's behaviour and dizziness happens but I bet they want to blame me as it took years for my hypothyroidism to be correctly treated and they kept questioning my son without my consent in school because I stopped contact with my ex partner because he was using threats to me and infront of my son, my sons behaviour changed in school but they put it down to him saying he didn't want to be questioned by me though its them he doesn't want to be questioned by them.

[Bee-bop in reply to Stace268]

Hi again Stace268,

Ok, my daughter gets ill constantly from getting overwhelmed and this meant she had a lot of time off school but, they also reduced her timetable to only a couple of hours a day. Some kids with asd get more ill for some reason. My daughter has enlarged adenoids, ear and throat so she gets ill in these areas and stomach too. When she's anxious she gets ill too.

I would contact the citizens advice bureau and/or any disability services you have in the area such as SENDIASS (special educational needs and disability information and advice and support services) get the ball rolling, explain to them the situation and the child protection involvement. I would act now before your son goes back in September.

If your ex partner has threatened you or you son, keep a log of this and talk to the police. You need to have it recorded. Talk to a domestic violence service about your concerns. There needs to be something in black and white otherwise it is one person's word against the other's.