loneliness unbearable

[Groundwork]

I have recently become a carer for my mum so my social circle is even smaller

[NotJim]

Hi Groundwork,

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. Caring for someone is a big deal and must feel very isolating at times. I don’t know where you are based, but for example in the UK there is an organisation called Carers UK, carersuk.org

A look on their website should show they have a forum, for sharing advice and support, as well as a listening service for anyone who needs someone to talk to.

On a purely social level, online socialising can be better than nothing and the contact between friends and people we know can be balm for the soul. Reconnecting with someone you may have lost contact with via facebook for example and having a small catchup on the messaging service is a great start; checking in, saying “hi how are you?” and letting the conversation build from there.

I’ve found from being on the autistic spectrum that keeping up appearances is hard work and there’s a constant conflict between wanting to have human contact and wanting to be alone, and then dealing with the loneliness that comes with it. I’ve had to make a conscious effort to try to reach out to people when loneliness hits because it was also tempting to think no one would want to speak to me, because i found loneliness does things to your sense of confidence too. This is speaking from my experiences , and of course yours may be different. But I think it’s good to have that bit of fire/motivation that can be kept gently burning that helps power you to keep reaching out to people and seeking out others.

And if it’s difficult to organise face to face meet ups because of busy times, caring, etc., there are always phone calls and video calls. Although by no means perfect, they’ve proven an excellent way of keeping up that human contact that can help sustain us through tricky times.

I do hope you can enjoy some strength and comfort from some friendly interactions. Caring for someone is such a challenging and emotionally complex thing. I hope you can feel encouraged knowing that what you are doing is extremely amazing, and I hope that you can reconnect with people, and that this loneliness will one day be a thing of the past. Sending you very best wishes

[Groundwork in reply to NotJim]

Thank you very much. We seem to think in a similar way, I have spent my life trying to avoid connecting with people and now, due to circumstances beyond my control, I have had to do a complete turn around and this is causing a brain melt down . I am in touch with Carers Support . Thank you for your kind words. Very much appreciated