Dealing with bereavement. How to cope with loneliness and intense emotions?

[Adult-sufferer]

I live alone and have very few friends. I just lost my pet dog, who’s life was intertwined with all of my daily activities. I’m now finding myself feeling very alone despite being the person to self isolate. I had all the company I needed with my dog but now feel intense loneliness due to his passing and still don’t vie for human companionship despite it being offered. I don’t like being openly emotional with others and get upset very easily when I think of his passing which would be the likely conversation.

[Hidden]

Sad so sorry. Hope you can move on and get another pet. Might be worth it

[Bee-bop]

Hi there, because your dog was such a big part of your life, it will take some time to grieve for their loss. Talking about them is not a bad thing and if you feel like you don't want to do that with people you know, you can do it with a therapist by telephone or online. My daughter who is on the spectrum recently had her guinea pig die. He meant a lot to her in that he was there when she would become overwhelmed or stressed and would help her feel calmer. He died very close to her birthday and this was very hard for her. At Christmas one of her sisters made her a fridge magnet with his photo on it and she cried when she saw it but, also it made her happy to know she can remember him. She is going to also visit the pet cemetery to remember him. One thing she thought was "I have no coping strategy now" so, we found something she liked that she can cuddle when feeling overwhelmed. She is on a waiting list for a trained dog for autism and does not want another guinea pig for that reason and is currently volunteering at a dog shelter which gives her time to develop looking after a dog. I know it will feel very difficult at time at the moment but, do you think that is something that could be something you might be able to try at some point?

Hope some of this helps.

[Adult-sufferer in reply to Bee-bop]

Thank you. A friend suggested the same. To walk dogs at a local shelter. I have no intention of getting another pet right now as I feel guilt over the fact that he died in my care. I’ve read up on symptoms and possible outcomes and that’s helped me to believe there wasn’t much better that I could have done for him but still I feel that my care skills might have been somehow lacking. Yes it’s very hard. He calmed my anxiety a great deal. And we lived in a small apartment where I had to look out for him any time I turned round or swung my feet off the bed. And outside of work my routine was to get him out walks and feed him and give him the attention he missed through the day. I’m really sorry your daughter lost her pet. It is a sad thing to lose the personality that we bond with and come to love.

[Bee-bop in reply to Adult-sufferer]

It sounds like you had a very close relationship with your dog and I can understand why a pet right now isn't something you want but, the dog walking may be helpful. It is hard not to feel that we could have done something more when someone/something we care about dies. Reading up and realising there wasn't much better that you could have done could help a little too.

[Lizzo30]

Very sorry for your loss

[musicspirit12]

I lost my cat of old age and ongoing health problems in 2020 of October and I am still grieving,

My husband doesn’t want me to get another pet which is ridiculous and my therapist and I are trying to get him to understand that I need a cat for emotional support. It’s not about him. Yet, he thinks that HE needs to be responsible for the pet thinking I’m irresponsible which I’m not.

It’s an ongoing issue. I know getting another pet is going to help you in the long run. People on the spectrum need pets,