Hi Everyone,
My query is not specifically physical health related. I wanted to know how many people are happily in a relationship with another person? Did you get together after you were diagnosed? At what stage did you let the person know about your ataxia?
Currently I am single and I am wondering if I should just be content with singleness or is having a healthy long term relationship an actual viable possibility? I am 35 as well, with SCA-3, diagnosed in 2015.
Dear Sherena, before retiring my wife and I worked together as relationship coaches, specifically for couples. We used cutting edge pyschotherapy techniques and constructed some of our own to better help our clients.In your case I would ask you to consider the following questions. You can speak the answers out loud or wait and watch for any physical reaction.
1) what would happen if you did have a long term partner?
2) what would happen if you didn’t have a long term partner?
3) what wouldn’t happen if you did have a long term partner?
4) what wouldn’t happen if you didn’t have a long term partner?
Take your time over each question as the brain has to process the positive and negative responses to each question.
Let me know how you get on and whether these questions help provide some clarity to your thoughts.
Nigel x
Hi Sherena
Hope you are well.
Please don’t put your Ataxia as a barrier between you and a potential partner you are still able to give love, care and friendship as much as everybody else. If someone is not interested in you because of your Ataxia then that person is not for you.
Ataxia is difficult to hide but if you meet someone then just be straight and truthful with them sooner rather later.
I spent 14 years in the Army and know several people who lost limbs and suffered mental health problems because of serving in war zones but still found a partner and live normal lives. Sometimes what you loose from a disability you gain from who you become.
Believe me you will have a lot to offer of what’s really important in a relationship so take a hammer to the wall you are building.
Never give up on what and who you what be.
You take care my friend.
Who Cares Wins.
🙂 I know a couple who met at an Ataxia Convention (both ataxians) and are in a very happy longterm relationship.
Don’t be defined by Ataxia and or let it hold you back, any decent person should be attracted to personality, sense of humour etc and any disability shouldn’t be a huge factor. I became ill during my relationship and we married about 2 after diagnosis, bloody hard work but we manage.Anyone who has a problem with ur Ataxia isn’t worth your time 👍
What an interesting question. Want to think about that, and then reply, Peter
Hi Sherena...... I agree with Paul456 wholeheartedly...... dont let Ataxia hold you back..... get out there and enjoy your life, you are still a young lady
Don🙂🎅🏼
Let's just get together and get the question solved ☺️ oh I've had brain surgery too though!! I know what you mean though, my ex left me after I had a car accident. Although I'm much better than what I was I've kinda resigned myself to the single shelf. I suppose from a guys prospective I'm not the person I was. I also know that people on here will say that shouldn't matter and abasil off the shelf. I do know you will get good advice on here. I hardly ever post but the things people advise on here is excellent whether it's health related , relationships or. Just need cheering up I find this is the place or Hilary on the phone;!! Anyway thanks everyone
I have been with my partner since I was 19 and I was diagnosed when I was 30 so I only know this. I am so lucky he has taken on everything recently. I am nearly 60 and very hard now.
At 35 you could so easily find someone new. Ataxia is hard but only the way you will probably die. We could be run over at any time. x
Sherena, you are what you are and provided your partner accepts that and is truly fully aware of likely developments in your condition then the question becomes 'why should two people sacrifice the chance of happiness?' However, as one of the responders to your question cannily remarked, beware of someone who may want you because of your condition. Happy New Year.
My problem is where to find a partner, this is not really something I have personally thought about but all my friends are suggesting online dating - which I don't mind doing at all. Has anyone tried online dating?
Vitamins...and walking!
New to the site and looking for people's lived experiences
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